Guestlist issue - Is it rude not to invite my nieces’ and nephews’ children?

[Milestone40]

I’m getting married next year and have a large family. I have 14 nieces and nephews, and two of my those nieces and nephews, who are only 1–2 years younger than me, have eight children between them.

Our ceremony venue has a strict capacity limit, so I’m struggling to decide what to do.
Do I invite all their children and leave out my overseas cousins I’m close to, or invite my cousins and not the children of my niece and nephew? My two niece and nephew would still be invited, just not their children. If the venue was bigger I'd be able to invite everyone, but ultimately, I really want my cousins to be present.

Would it be rude or unreasonable to invite my niece and nephew but not their children because of the venue capacity?

How would you handle this?

I'd speak to them honestly, and say you'd love to invite everyone, but sadly you're very limited at your venue. You can just say sadly you're unable to invite X/Y/Z, and you absolutely understand if they aren't able to arrange childcare.

DiL comes from a large family and didn’t even invite her cousins. We were only able to invite 15 couples, including family members and we had to leave out old friends. Everyone understood.

I would handle it by choosing a different venue that would fit everyone important to me.

I think it's all right, I don't expect to be invited with children to extended family weddings. My only advice, which seems like it will be easy to do here, is to make it a set rule and not invite some of the children and not others. That would be a recipe for upset.

@Milestone40
Crikey, you do have a large family ❤️
Is the venue local, will they need overnight childcare?

I'd have an honest conversation that your venue has a strict limit, they may be glad of a child free day and not have the expense of kitting out 8 children between them in wedding outfits.

Is you wedding completely child free?
If not they may feel targeted/left out.

It might be weird if they turn up and your best friend is there with her children and theirs have been excluded.

Id go down the child free wedding route personally.

The trouble with weddings is you can't please everyone.

I hope you have a lovely day 💒