How much cash gift is appropriate for friends’ wedding with children invited?

[Thought23]

Attending a wedding in the summer for friends. We met through our kids. We’re all invited ( 2 adults + 2 kids). Venue is about 2 hours from us. Wedding on a Monday so day off work. We won’t be staying over as hotels were £400+.

How much cash for a wedding gift is the going rate these days? Don’t want to come across cheap!

At least £200 for 4 of you.

No. The OP should give what she can afford.

Some of these figures are ridiculous.

£200 at a minimum for 4 people.

Absolutely. It's a gift.

There is no minimum. Setting up the idea that if you don't pay enough to attend you aren't welcome is a horrible way to think of weddings.

I agree, it's so transactional, it's as if they've given you an invoice.
It's a celebration. You give a gift according to your means and personal choices.

I understand there us a different cultural expectation amount amounts of money at Irish weddings but how does this work in practice? If someone can't afford the travel, hotel, possibly new outfit and have another €200+ available are they expected to just not attend at all? Surely there is understanding that that's a huge amount of money and it isn't always seen as just being tight?

When my sister got married to an Englishman - it was generally recognised that they were tight, sge got a salad spinner and many other bits of cheap crap. Which didn’t endear them to the family - who were not that keen on the English anyway!😂

£200

It really depends on how much you can afford. But I'd say £100 plus ideally. But if you can't afford that then less. They can't be so crude as to moan about how much money you gave?

That's some level of prejudice.

£50-100 is plenty

Absolutely you don’t need to do anything. The question was how much you would give and I answered that to my circumstances. Actually sometimes I give 500 or more to my closest friends daughter. I can afford that and I wanted to. If the poster had said I can only afford £50 is this ok, the answer would be give what you can afford. It depends on a lot of factors. I mention the area as I have been to English weddings albeit only 3 and it was a very different day. As I imagine different in varying cultures.

Some of these amounts are ridiculous. Do some people think cash gifts are supposed to actually pay for the wedding??

Yep!😂

No!

You are attending an an invited guest - it’s not a pay per ticket event

£100

I’m with the majority. Around £100. More if it was a close family member (eg sibling) or best friend.

I totally agree with this. We did give £200 as a wedding gift at the last wedding we went to but it was that of a close relative, and we could afford it at the time.

Suggesting £200 out of the blue in relation to the number of guests sounds so transactional and is so tone deaf.

It is a gift not a ticket price.

This!

I think £200 since there are 4 of you going! It will definitely cost them a lot more than that for the 4 of you to be there.

You don't invite people to celebrate your wedding so they can pay for their dinner and glass of fizz.

Perhaps they could send an invoice?

No. Absolutely not!

That's not what weddings are about. It's a gift not a ticket price.