Wedding presents

[bou]

We had a very small wedding. My parents gifted an expensive luxurious bed set and my friend knitted products easily of value of £300. PIL gave a champagne bottle of exactly the same we were serving. Sil gave a Prosecco bottle. It seems there was absolutely no effort involved. There is high possibility that sil is marrying soon so should I give them Prosecco bottle as well?

Yes

Give them back the bottle you were given.

Drip feed: I don’t like mil and she doesn’t like me. We tolerate each other. Sil is ok but lives next door from mil so under her influence.

but I would have thought she would have wanted to give a nice present for her son. Or is this the English way? I am from eu country and wedding presents are important.

Did they put anything to the wedding ?

No, nothing. Dh even paid their Airbnb

It’s a passive aggressive gift showing you no effort was made by them.

oh yes, if you can return the prosecco she gave you "same brand! i thought you liked it"

and that is it

So when you get home, hide up bottles and you have the perfect gift for SIL’s wedding and PIL’s Christmas present 🤣

Yes

Don't play tit-for-tat, it makes you look a tit.

Do match their energy. Clearly wedding presents aren't their thing so you don't need to make a big deal of it. Leave it to your husband to sort presents for his side of the family.

The thing I am afraid is that mil comes with a wedding present idea and wants to go halves with Dh. I will only be informed later when it’s already bought.

I agree not to play tit for tat. Give something smaller, but maybe sentimental.

maybe they’re not a present family?

Unless the half leaves you two short, don't sweat it. If you're worried about it, have a conversation with your husband about a budget.

Are you unhappy with the champagne too?

of course wedding presents are important, if someone hadn’t much money they would look for an inexpensive but thoughtful gift. The English typically leaves the gift buying up to the women.

Mil usually spends ages to get Dh the perfect Xmas present. She doesn’t forget to mention it. They are good presents.

i just find it lazy to buy some bottle relatively cheap champagne.

Champagne is suggested on here as a wedding present on practically a weekly basis.
Personally, I don't like champagne. But then "£300 worth of knitted goods" isn't something that I think many newlyweds would find particularly appealing either.

This really isn't something to fall out about. Some people rate themselves as "good present buyers / givers" even though the recipients might not agree. Some see it to be more important to give something practical / useful that the recipient will actually use/ want /value.

I'd be upset if someone spent £300 on a sheet, duvet and a couple of pillowcases, in truth. I'd rather have a £25 set, and the other £275 in cash or vouchers for somewhere I use regularly, or even for spending on something I considered a treat.

Looking down your nose at people because they do things differently from you is not a great characteristic, in truth.

Knitted stuff was Icelandic pullovers knitted from Iceland wool. They are really nice and really sought after.

I would expect PIL would put some effort on present. A bottle of Prosecco or champagne from persons who usually put loads of effort to dh’s presents. Bit mil doesn’t like me and that was really the only effort she made. Not even congratulating or talking about our wedding before the event.

You started your post with two lovely presents from your side..

I was shocked you went on to complain

you are loved by the people that count, and very thought of

don’t do the tit for tat..it’s a game where you will both end up feeling bad. Tell them straight If you want them to know something

their attitude does not reflect the worth of your marriage

Your MIL spends ages to choose the perfect present for your DH but her wedding present was a reflection on how she felt about the wedding. Was it expensive champagne? Champagne usually signals celebrations. Could they not afford the Airbnb? Or did your DH pay so they had no excuse not to be there at your wedding? Is he aware his DM and SIL aren’t very nice to you?

If getting the present is left to you I would put as little effort in but upgrade - champagne rather than Prosecco

I would give sil back the bottle she gave you.

great advice right there

Did at any point you say that you didn’t want gifts, the presence not presents poem for example? If you are already living together gifts are not always a big thing, we said no gifts

As much as I’d want to do the same bottle of Prosecco I’d probably go out and buy a different one and give that to them. But definitely nothing more than a bottle of bubbles.