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Wedding presents

54 replies

bou · 24/05/2025 12:43

We had a very small wedding. My parents gifted an expensive luxurious bed set and my friend knitted products easily of value of £300. PIL gave a champagne bottle of exactly the same we were serving. Sil gave a Prosecco bottle. It seems there was absolutely no effort involved. There is high possibility that sil is marrying soon so should I give them Prosecco bottle as well?

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 27/05/2025 01:31

Traditionally, in England, the couple produce a wedding present list and the guests buy something from it. These are generally household items because of the old tradition that the new couple will be setting up home together.

This has changed a lot in recent years as most couples live together before they get married now and therefore already have the stuff they need in their homes.

We didn’t traditionally throw huge sums of money at the couple, it was more that lots of people would buy things so that cumulatively they got a lot of useful things.

Recently, couples have taken to asking for money or vouchers. Some people think this is fine; some people think it’s grabby.

The bedding is a normal wedding present. The jumpers are unusual. Champagne and Prosecco is the sort of thing you would get from guests who, in the absence of a present list, didn’t know what to get you.

As illustration, when I got married in 1987, my parents gave us a set of casserole dishes and my in-laws gave us a food-processor (which we regarded as very generous as these were expensive at the time). The most recent wedding we attended was my nephew’s and we gave him £100 in John Lewis vouchers.

NancySpain1 · 27/05/2025 08:11

Ratisshortforratthew · 26/05/2025 23:03

She doesn’t like you and you don’t like her so who cares? You also sound grabby. Why are you so much more focused on the presents than the people who made the effort to turn up to your wedding and celebrate with you? I don’t give wedding presents at all because the whole culture is so entitled. If my company isn’t enough for someone, well, tough!

It depends on the wedding. If you're buying your own food and drinks all night then your company should be enough. But free bars and a meal and canapés means presents are the polite thing to do imo. I can't think of any other day/night out where I'd expect someone else to pay for all my food and drink because my company should be enough. Maybe a date but even then I wouldn't expect it

Emmz1510 · 27/05/2025 11:38

In the UK we are typically quite generous with wedding gifts, especially to family, so I don’t think this is a UK thing. Cheap champagne/prosecco is pretty shitty. But then, maybe finances are tight, or they had to spend a lot on an outfit, or make up or hair etc….Thats me playing devils advocate. It’s more likely it matches their ambivalence about you sadly. I would do tit for tat, but it sounds like it will be your DH who takes the lead on this. Leave it to him, but make it clear how you feel.

EmmaM84 · 27/05/2025 16:22

I can top that. My (ex) MIL got us... teatowels. This was after she said she would pay for the flowers. Never saw a penny of contribution.

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