Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Weddings

Chat to other Mumsnetters on our Wedding forum.

Original poster

Wedding dress is too small and shop didnt take my measurements

111 replies

FirmTiger · 07/05/2025 04:52

Can I please have some advice? Am I in the wrong in any way?
Last year in march I travelled hours to a wedding dress shop where they sold my dream wedding dresses, all went okay, I chose my dress and wanted to order it. When it came to ordering it, the lady didn’t even take my measurements and just said the sample fit me fine. Obviously she’s a reputable wedding dress shop with loads of 5/5 star reviews, I don’t know any better so that was that and we paid the deposit which was more than half of the dress (I don’t know if that’s normal)
3 months later I was asked to pay the outstanding balance, which to be fair was agreed when I ordered the dress but when speaking to other people, apparently this isn’t normal practice and normally the outstanding balance is paid upon first fitting of your dress arriving to shop. I honestly didn’t mind paying it when she asked but there was a lot of chasing from that point about when my dress would arrive in the store. I was told it would be the start of jan, which came around and it wasn’t there, chased again and anyway, the dress didn’t arrive until the march (4 months before my wedding) When it came to collecting the dress, baring in mind I had to do a round trip of 5 hours, she asked me when I could come. I asked her for a Saturday which she said they are far too busy (that’s completely understandable) and asked me to come on a week day. Arranged this with my mum and step dad, who took time off work to come with me, for her to message me and say that can I now come on Saturday as brides have moved around there appointments? And gave me a time slot for if I wanted to just collect and a different time slot to actually try the dress on. I replied and said I wouldn’t be able to do that as my mum and step dad took time off work and anyway she said okay that’s fine just stick to the collection day I had before. When it came to collecting the dress, tried the dress on, it wouldn’t zip up. As soon as she realised this, she asked me if I had put on weight (I haven’t, as I have been weighing myself basically since I’ve been planning my wedding). I actually stood there in the shop and just wanted to cry as I just had enough. The dress was A LOT of money, paid in full 8 months before, took basically a year to arrive to the shop and I had 4 months to go. She convinced me that it would do up with someone strong enough to do it and that was that, I just wanted the dress of me. Came back home, and needed to get the straps and length altered so took it to a seamstress straight away as basically everyone near me was fully booked until September.Went with my mother in law, who when I tried the dress on told me it wouldn’t zip up by a long way. Like even if I lost a few pounds it wouldn’t do up. Seamstress said it’s fine, she’ll add in a bit of material and have corset back. Roll round to today, message off her saying she doesn’t want to do it, she doesn’t know how it will work because of placement of straps etc the dress is too intricate. So I message the bridal shop, not that they can do anything 11 weeks before my wedding and she just said straight away they have the same dress coming in a bigger size next week and I could swap. Sent me the measurements of the bigger size and asked me for mine. I took my measurements and even the bigger size is way off my measurements! So yeah, I’m up all night stressing and panicking. Hopefully can find a seamstress who can do it, if it will even be done. Upon speaking to another bridal shop, they told me that regardless of if I sample dress fit (especially a dress like mine which has a structured, boning top section) measurements should always be took because the sample dress will be a lot more worn and fit looser, where as the new dress will have no give. Just needed a rant and a bit of advice really, am I wrong for thinking the bridal shop is in the wrong? I’m so upset and my experience has been so bad

OP posts:
MolluscMonday · 07/05/2025 04:55

No, you’re not in the wrong.
Can she have one in the right size shipped directly to you urgently and you return your current one?

Sinkingfeeling952 · 07/05/2025 05:00

Yeah that’s poor service. They usually take your measurements and then order a bigger size which is then altered by the seamstress to fit perfectly. Is there a reason the shop isn’t doing the alterations / bespoke fitting?

JustMyView13 · 07/05/2025 05:13

Did you pay for any portion of your dress using a credit card? If so, you may be able to get a refund via section 75 if you’re unsuccessful with the shop.
They should’ve taken your measurements though, and I’m not sure why they wouldn’t - surely selling dresses that don’t fit is bad for business?

UncharteredWaters · 07/05/2025 05:17

If you know the dress designer you can Vgh rock there express service - make the shop do it though as it’s expensive!

Original poster
FirmTiger · 07/05/2025 05:25

It’s a dress designer in Ukraine and they seem to just take forever to ship. When I went to collect my dress, my step dad wanted to treat me to the matching veil (which was almost £300), I was reluctant because of my expensive but it matches my dress perfectly and I asked her will it definitely come in time. She said yes of course no later than 6 weeks, it’s been 6 weeks so I enquired about the veil too and she said she’s still waiting for a shipment date.
Just feel really fed up, I was feeling hopeful when she said she had a bigger size coming next week anyway. But took my measurements and that one wouldn’t even fit me either. Hips is 6 inches too small, bust is 4 inches too small and waist is 4 inches too small. So wonder how small by inches my dress is for me. I don’t know how a seamstress will fix that.
Anyway, I sent her my measurements last night and she has read it and not replied

OP posts:
mumofbun · 07/05/2025 05:34

Does she still have the shop sample dress? If you could try that on again she will see she's wrong and maybe you could do a deal to take that one?

sashh · 07/05/2025 05:47

Oh what a pain, and wedding planning is stressful if everything goes OK.

I think ordering from Ukraine might not be the shop's fault, there is a war going on there but not taking measurements and ordering the wrong size is utter crap.

I think you should contact the trading standards where the shop is. They can give you some advice as can the CAB.

Cadenza12 · 07/05/2025 06:05

You need to get another dress. One that's in stock and can be altered.

ADHDHDHDHD · 07/05/2025 07:22

Swap it for the sample dress. And you have had terrible service!

Icannotremembermyusername · 07/05/2025 07:48

Hmmm… I am in two minds here. I work in the industry and firstly I feel really sorry for you, this is not the experience you need or should have. However, I can see why she chose the sample size if it fit you perfectly. To be honest, sample dresses do not stretch that much as most dresses are man made fibres. So ignore that aspect for the minute. I would ask firstly to retry the sample you originally tried on. If that fits, then you clearly have an issue with your dress that has been ordered in and she drinkers to rectify that. If it doesn’t fit, then that would indicate you have changed, not her fault.
The problem will come if she doesn’t have the sample dress anymore, as she didn’t measure you. There is no benchmark/proof of what you were at the time of ordering.
I would say that you ordered the dress in good faith that it would arrive in time and fit you. It is not your fault she didn’t measure you. However, on the same token it is not her fault if you have put on weight! It’s a tricky one and trading standards ‘I think’ will say there had been a dress supplied in the size agreed at the time of ordering (the sample size-whatever that was).
Go back to the shop and say you want a dress that fits and that you want her to sort it. Unless she has the original sample she cannot prove you have or haven’t changed size so you can say the onus is on her to have the correctly fitted dress. It’s a tricky one tbh. Good luck.

Icannotremembermyusername · 07/05/2025 07:50

Apologies for typo ! Do not know where drinkers came from! Must be on my mind!

SwanOfThoseThings · 07/05/2025 07:54

Hips is 6 inches too small, bust is 4 inches too small and waist is 4 inches too small.

If that is the larger size, I don't understand how you even got into the smaller dress, let alone how She convinced me that it would do up with someone strong enough to do it could have been remotely plausible.

babasaclover · 07/05/2025 07:59

Totally shoddy behaviour but there might be a silver lining. You will not know how to measure yourself properly so maybe you got it wrong. Go and get measured by a proper seamstress and send her those measurements.

the shop is shoddy though, there’s no such thing as a size 12 fits every size 12 that’s why they measure. It should be bespoke!!!!

Stripeyanddotty · 07/05/2025 08:01

Did you know from the outset that the dress would be coming from Ukraine?

CiaoMeow · 07/05/2025 08:04

/Oh no! You're not wrong.

As pp says, you need to buy another dress. Then sort out this current situation separately.

HollidaySunshine · 07/05/2025 08:05

I’m wondering if it’s poorly made and the sizing is really out. I can’t see how you’d even fit into it with a 6” hip difference if not.

crumblingschools · 07/05/2025 08:06

Was the size of the dress your usual dress size?

NoCapesDarling · 07/05/2025 08:15

Im a specialist bridal seamstress.

She should have measured you, it’s tempting for them to just go off the sample size but unlike the above poster I disagree that actually sample dresses can be significantly stretched but lots of people trying them on. This is the problem and tbh if I were you it’s what I would be focusing on. All the rest about visiting etc is kind of irrelevant at this point, it’s not her fault you bought from a shop a long way from where you live.

You should have booked a specialist seamstress a year ago- it’s a shame no one told you to book one in advance as we get booked up very fast and seamstresses who don’t specialise in bridal don’t know the best ways to alter the dresses. (That’s not to say they’re not skilled, I couldn’t do street wear alts as well as them as I am not skilled in that area!)

Wedding dresses take a long time to arrive, 8 months minimum is not uncommon. Shops also don’t want to be storing your dress for ages so may order the dress to arrive a few months before the wedding. Yes some designers are quicker but it’s quite possible that there simply is no other dress in your proper size to swap for, it’s not like ordering from ASOS.

Paying in full before the dress arrives is also not uncommon, the shop will have had to pay the manufacturer before they deliver the dress, sometimes before they even commit to making the dress.

Could the dress be the wrong size? Occasionally the manufacturer can put the wrong label in or make a manufacturing error meaning it’s the wrong size.

Does she still have the sample dress? If that fitted well then she might agree to swap?

Have a look for a more experienced seamstress. There is a facebook group called Find your seamstress UK which it might be worth posting on if you’re in the UK. There are sometimes things that can be done to make a dress fit BUT you will have to be flexible about changing the overall look of the dress if it needs to be made so much bigger.

apologies if some of this sounds a bit harsh, it is not meant that way I’m just not good at sugar coating things before I’ve had my morning cofffee! I hope you get it sorted.

Punzel · 07/05/2025 08:16

I’d ask for her to set aside a morning/afternoon for you to come and try on dresses until you find one you love (or failing that, can live with) in your size or can be tailored to you, that she currently has in the shop. Get that professionally cleaned at her expense and at least you have a dress.
Try and discuss with her what she can offer you in terms of a refund but if it isn’t easily resolved you can park it for now, enjoy your wedding and pursue her in the small claims court in a few month’s time.

TBH brides fixate a lot on their dress of course. But realistically as long as it fits OK and isn’t absolutely hideous, with your hair and makeup done and in the eyes of all the people there who love you whilst you’re glowing with happiness, you will look as stunning in this or that dress.

Arniesaxe · 07/05/2025 08:19

I'd be asking to buy the sample frock at a discount at this stage.

SuperTrooper14 · 07/05/2025 08:20

Can't you just return the dress and get a refund, or exchange for another one?

Sourcing one from a war zone was always going to be risky.

Original poster
FirmTiger · 07/05/2025 08:52

NoCapesDarling · 07/05/2025 08:15

Im a specialist bridal seamstress.

She should have measured you, it’s tempting for them to just go off the sample size but unlike the above poster I disagree that actually sample dresses can be significantly stretched but lots of people trying them on. This is the problem and tbh if I were you it’s what I would be focusing on. All the rest about visiting etc is kind of irrelevant at this point, it’s not her fault you bought from a shop a long way from where you live.

You should have booked a specialist seamstress a year ago- it’s a shame no one told you to book one in advance as we get booked up very fast and seamstresses who don’t specialise in bridal don’t know the best ways to alter the dresses. (That’s not to say they’re not skilled, I couldn’t do street wear alts as well as them as I am not skilled in that area!)

Wedding dresses take a long time to arrive, 8 months minimum is not uncommon. Shops also don’t want to be storing your dress for ages so may order the dress to arrive a few months before the wedding. Yes some designers are quicker but it’s quite possible that there simply is no other dress in your proper size to swap for, it’s not like ordering from ASOS.

Paying in full before the dress arrives is also not uncommon, the shop will have had to pay the manufacturer before they deliver the dress, sometimes before they even commit to making the dress.

Could the dress be the wrong size? Occasionally the manufacturer can put the wrong label in or make a manufacturing error meaning it’s the wrong size.

Does she still have the sample dress? If that fitted well then she might agree to swap?

Have a look for a more experienced seamstress. There is a facebook group called Find your seamstress UK which it might be worth posting on if you’re in the UK. There are sometimes things that can be done to make a dress fit BUT you will have to be flexible about changing the overall look of the dress if it needs to be made so much bigger.

apologies if some of this sounds a bit harsh, it is not meant that way I’m just not good at sugar coating things before I’ve had my morning cofffee! I hope you get it sorted.

No I completely get all that it’s not harsh, I was just painting the picture of my whole experience. I know it’s not her fault that I came from hours away etc it’s just that the communication was shocking. She kept telling me a date it would get to the shop, 2 weeks after that date would pass and I would have to message her chasing her. Also the sample dress was made in a different colour. It had like peachy undertones to the skirt. And my dress was made in my pure white.

Basically she has dresses from designers which I guess a lot of bridal shops stock and then she has a small selection of ballgown dresses that she gets shipped from Ukraine and she is the only place in the uk to stock these style of dresses (which is why I travelled so far)

OP posts:
Original poster
FirmTiger · 07/05/2025 08:53

SuperTrooper14 · 07/05/2025 08:20

Can't you just return the dress and get a refund, or exchange for another one?

Sourcing one from a war zone was always going to be risky.

That’s not the problem though, there are lots of brides who have recieved there dresses and it’s been fine. My problem is that I feel as though it was a huge mistake to not measure me and the style of the sample dress fit me, but it being made brand new doesn’t fit me

OP posts:
Original poster
FirmTiger · 07/05/2025 08:58

Stripeyanddotty · 07/05/2025 08:01

Did you know from the outset that the dress would be coming from Ukraine?

I have looked on the bridal shop instagram and yes the designer is Ukraine but they work and ship from romainia

OP posts:
Original poster
FirmTiger · 07/05/2025 08:59

babasaclover · 07/05/2025 07:59

Totally shoddy behaviour but there might be a silver lining. You will not know how to measure yourself properly so maybe you got it wrong. Go and get measured by a proper seamstress and send her those measurements.

the shop is shoddy though, there’s no such thing as a size 12 fits every size 12 that’s why they measure. It should be bespoke!!!!

No idea, I’m thinking maybe the sample wasn’t the size she thought

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread