Wedding dress is too small and shop didnt take my measurements

[FirmTiger]

Can I please have some advice? Am I in the wrong in any way?
Last year in march I travelled hours to a wedding dress shop where they sold my dream wedding dresses, all went okay, I chose my dress and wanted to order it. When it came to ordering it, the lady didn’t even take my measurements and just said the sample fit me fine. Obviously she’s a reputable wedding dress shop with loads of 5/5 star reviews, I don’t know any better so that was that and we paid the deposit which was more than half of the dress (I don’t know if that’s normal)
3 months later I was asked to pay the outstanding balance, which to be fair was agreed when I ordered the dress but when speaking to other people, apparently this isn’t normal practice and normally the outstanding balance is paid upon first fitting of your dress arriving to shop. I honestly didn’t mind paying it when she asked but there was a lot of chasing from that point about when my dress would arrive in the store. I was told it would be the start of jan, which came around and it wasn’t there, chased again and anyway, the dress didn’t arrive until the march (4 months before my wedding) When it came to collecting the dress, baring in mind I had to do a round trip of 5 hours, she asked me when I could come. I asked her for a Saturday which she said they are far too busy (that’s completely understandable) and asked me to come on a week day. Arranged this with my mum and step dad, who took time off work to come with me, for her to message me and say that can I now come on Saturday as brides have moved around there appointments? And gave me a time slot for if I wanted to just collect and a different time slot to actually try the dress on. I replied and said I wouldn’t be able to do that as my mum and step dad took time off work and anyway she said okay that’s fine just stick to the collection day I had before. When it came to collecting the dress, tried the dress on, it wouldn’t zip up. As soon as she realised this, she asked me if I had put on weight (I haven’t, as I have been weighing myself basically since I’ve been planning my wedding). I actually stood there in the shop and just wanted to cry as I just had enough. The dress was A LOT of money, paid in full 8 months before, took basically a year to arrive to the shop and I had 4 months to go. She convinced me that it would do up with someone strong enough to do it and that was that, I just wanted the dress of me. Came back home, and needed to get the straps and length altered so took it to a seamstress straight away as basically everyone near me was fully booked until September.Went with my mother in law, who when I tried the dress on told me it wouldn’t zip up by a long way. Like even if I lost a few pounds it wouldn’t do up. Seamstress said it’s fine, she’ll add in a bit of material and have corset back. Roll round to today, message off her saying she doesn’t want to do it, she doesn’t know how it will work because of placement of straps etc the dress is too intricate. So I message the bridal shop, not that they can do anything 11 weeks before my wedding and she just said straight away they have the same dress coming in a bigger size next week and I could swap. Sent me the measurements of the bigger size and asked me for mine. I took my measurements and even the bigger size is way off my measurements! So yeah, I’m up all night stressing and panicking. Hopefully can find a seamstress who can do it, if it will even be done. Upon speaking to another bridal shop, they told me that regardless of if I sample dress fit (especially a dress like mine which has a structured, boning top section) measurements should always be took because the sample dress will be a lot more worn and fit looser, where as the new dress will have no give. Just needed a rant and a bit of advice really, am I wrong for thinking the bridal shop is in the wrong? I’m so upset and my experience has been so bad

100% she should have taken your measurements

With such a massive difference in size I am also wondering if the dress has the wrong label in

Can you get on the designer’s website to see a size guide?

Thing is - you are possibly not going to get a correct one in time

You need to see either what a specialist seamstress can do or maybe even consider another dress

Go try on the larger one next week then make a decision. Can the shop have an alterations person there to advise you?

So your dress is a different colour and size to what you had ordered? Yeah she fucked up! She should have checked the dress was as ordered before you picked it up, occasionally designers send out something wrong (shit happens!) but she should then have been falling over herself to try to put it right, not sending you off with an ‘oh well’.

And yes, that is terrible communication. The shops I work alongside usually give a delivery window of a few weeks or if they are expecting a dress by the middle of the month only give the end of the month as predicted delivery date to the bride so there is wiggle room in case of problems. They only started doing this after mistakes happened though so maybe this is her ‘learning moment’.

No sorry, the dress in the shop has peachy undertones to do it. But I asked to have it made in pure white. Which I am happy with, but the sizing is way off if the bigger size is that far off my measurements but the sample fit me perfectly and apparently the my dress is the same sizing as sample.
Like I just don’t understand

Ah ok! Right colour but wrong size. If you’ve recently tried the sample on and it still fits but your dress is several inches too small then I think your dress has either been ordered in the wrong size or manufactured incorrectly. A sample can stretch but not by the 4inches you’ve said your dress is too small by. Measurements should definitely have been taken.

It may well be too late now to do anything except get a seamstress to help. Some things that can sometimes be done-

• letting out seams (not always possible if the designer hasn’t left decent allowances)
• adding an illusion tulle/mesh insert at sides (this is a style a lot of dresses have at the moment!)
• corset back
• if your dress is lace add panels at the sides in similar fabric then add lace to cover and blend
• take out cups and switch for flatter ones
• lower back to the point the zip reaches

Your seamstress may have other ideas too. I’ve made dresses several sizes bigger but it always depends on the bride being flexible about the style changing.

It sounds like the designer has sized it wrong rather than the shop, if the sample fitted you and that’s the size they ordered there is no other explanation as to why the actual dress didn’t fit. Designers are not infallible.

Echoing what a pp has said, try on the sample dress again, if it still exists in the shop.
Then you have a benchmark. I don’t supposed you’ve taken your own measurements at any point?
It sounds like the wrong size could have been ordered for you - possible the shop assumed the size of the sample dress incorrectly.

The shop I got my white wedding dress from ordered half a size up and was altered down to fit me closer to the wedding.
I get clothes made a lot (close family member is a seamstress and I’m a designer) so having the extra seam allowance is crucial.

You’re not in the wrong - it definitely sounds like a mix up. Hips six inches out etc from the size up is wild, and no, a seamstress can’t fix this.

The sample dress is labelled incorrectly then.
Ask them to measure the waist and bust of the sample dress and ‘your’ dress and compare!

Crash diet it is for me lol

What is the name of the designer OP

The MN hive mind might be able to find a different importer or have a cousin who's daughter married a Romanian who owns the factory the dresses are made or 100 other ways to help.

id work on trying to get a refund tbh and find a new dress

I’d be buying the sample dress you tried on at a huge discount, I don’t think the shop owner has been very helpful. The only problem is you took the dress away from the shop, you should of left it there 😬 but hindsight is a wonderful thing

Could you fly directly to the supplier in Ukraine to avoid all the delays ?

Yes, she absolutely should have measured you. For the exact reason that if a dress doesn't fit when it arrives, it is clear where the discrepancy occured. And I would have thought they are supposed to send the measurements to the manufacturer as an extra check (eg they could say you've ordered a 10 and these measurements would need a 12)

It sounds like either the sample size was different to what she thought or she's ordered the wrong size. It does sound a bit suss that she has the exact dress in a bigger size you can have (how?!). In all honesty though, I would take that. Because even if it doesn't fit, alterations would be easier. I think you need to go back with your dress and try on the bigger size and the sample. If the sample is way different to your dress you would surely have some scope to demand a refund or something.

Sorry for all the stress!

This happened to me but in reverse. The shop ordered the sample size which fitted perfectly, no alterations would have been needed apart from length. I didn’t lose any weight and when mine came it was enormous, if I lent forward you could see my boobs and it was a scrappy or strapless dress. The shop eventually accepted responsibility for not taking my measurements and did the alterations for free.

I would go in hard and say ‘I want a refund now or I’ll be sending a solicitors letter’

Get in the car and do not leave the shop until this is sorted.

The dress is the wrong size!! This is not ok at all!!!

Have you Employee Assistance Program at work? You get free legal advice from them.

Call today or try citizens advice also. The small claims court might work too. Seriously this is disgraceful. It’s the wrong size!!!

@FirmTiger

What does the dress look like, OP?

Is your wedding in June?

Id request a refund and find a different dress off the peg. The shop has majorly screwed up. You might find your dress on stillwhite for a fraction of the price.

Absolutely appalling behaviour by the shop - of course they should have measured you. Hope it gets sorted asap and im sure you’ll look amazing in it!

'she just said straight away they have the same dress coming in a bigger size next week and I could swap'

this doesn't make sense, they have one sample size usually and from then the dresses coming in are custom ordered/made, so if they have another dress coming in then its another brides bought and paid for dress. They can't just swap it for a different size.

Have they mixed the dresses of different brides up and you actually have someone else's smaller sized dress?

If your anywhere near Hertfordshire, my daughters dress was altered a fair amount but an amazing lady. I could send her details if it’s any help.

Show the shop owner some photos of you when you ordered the dress and now so she can see you haven't gained weight.

Personally I think the shop is at fault for their poor service and you are going to have to communicate with them to say that they haven't provided goods as ordered. She knew they weren't right at point of collection but still did not sort the issue. You have to arrange to have the dress returned to her and seek a full refund either through credit card company or small claims court, if she won't sort it.
And sadly, source an alternative dress through a second hand source - there are masses of gorgeous ones available. Whilst it won't necessarily be your first choice of dress, it will reduce the stress by you taking control of the situation and having a wearable dress on your special day.
FWIW I didn't end up with the best dress for my wedding day for various reasons but I did have a beautiful dress and no one else knows that it wasn't first choice!

I’m a sorry op that’s an awful emotion situation and the shop is on the wrong not to measure and it to be so way off. I’d be asking for a refund and I don’t normally suggest this but crash diet just to get in it maybe

The bigger dress coming next week is obviously your dress?

Shop is shite but you need to get mad and get this sorted

This is terrible. The shop has not provided good customer service and the dress is not fit for purpose. You haven't received the goods you paid for. I would forget trying to rectify the dress. Time is running out and you don't need the added stress.

Demand a refund, see if you can claim back any costs if you used a credit card to pay. You probably need to return to the shop and retry the sample dress so the owner can see it fits, and retry the dress you received, so she can see the difference and there can be no doubt that the mistake is theirs.

In the meantime, look for a new dress. Get something now that fits, so you're not panicking. Not an expensive, elaborate one - simple and elegant. Believe me, your husband-to-be will think you look stunning whatever you wear. Most of us look back at our wedding dress choice with a certain amount of embarrassment 10+ years later (I married in the 80s so you can imagine my meringue of a dress!). I actually hired my wedding dress as we were on a tight budget. Would that be possible? Also,in my town one of the charity shops specialises in wedding dresses. They have stunning gowns at a fraction of the cost of new. Perhaps another option?