I don’t want to drink alcohol at my Hen do’s or Wedding

[Butterfly1728]

I’m getting married this month and I’m feeling like I don’t want alcohol (gives me terrible anxiety and depression for days!).

How do I normalise that I’m not drinking alcohol without feeling pressured/judged? Not that I can control anyone’s thoughts anyway!

Ask for non alcoholic beer, cider or wine and just pretend you’re drinking.

on your wedding day no one will even notice what you are drinking.

Do your mates not already know you don't drink? Mine don't give a monkeys that I don't, doesn't even get mentioned

I really don’t understand this. If you don’t want to drink then just don’t. It’s no one else’s business. I didn’t drink at either of mine and I certainly didn’t pretend to. No one battered an eyelid.

congratulations, have an amazing day x

Say that they are special days for you and you want to remain clear headed so you can remember all the details .....

Drink what you want. If people judge you, they are no friend of yours (and why are you inviting them to your wedding/hen do?)

I’ve literally decided today 😂 I’ve always been a “binge drinker” and one of the last of my friends to drink as much as I do; most of them calmed it down years ago!

I didn’t drink alcohol at my wedding, and it was fine. The venue was aware, and when they brought the bride/groom drink tray on arrival, there was a glass of champagne for DH and a pre-arranged alternative drink for me in a champagne flute. I honestly don’t know if anyone noticed. Throughout the day, I had my drink topped up by the staff.

Why would someone care what’s in your glass? If they do care, they need to get a life.

They will think you're pregnant if you usually go overboard.

Just be honest if they ask and say you want to avoid alcohol for a bit

At my own wedding I barely managed a glass and a half of bubbly. I was so busy talking I could only have an occasional sip.

Get a bottle of sparkling elderflower and give your maid of honour the job of ensuring your glass is always full with it.

I wouldn’t over think it, drink what you want be that water or whatever, if someone asks just say you don’t want to feel rough, drunk, whatever on your wedding.
for the hen do, don’t do a night out? Do something that doesn’t revolve around alcohol, I don’t drink and we did just a fun daytime thing, it was an afternoon tea (those that wanted it had champagne but didn’t revolve around alcohol)

Don’t make a big announcement about it, everyone will think you’re pregnant.

I often don’t drink on nights out, I just don’t tell anyone. I get my own drink from the bar (low alcohol beer or a lemonade in a gin glass with ice & lemon) and if anyone buys me a drink without asking I either wander around with it and then throw it away or whatever.

Other people take much less notice of what you’re drinking than you think.

Eh? It's her own wedding!

@Butterfly1728 you just say "I'm off the booze for health reasons*, I don't mind anyone else drinking (if that's true) but I will be on the 0%. Don't worry, still going to be cutting up the club floor!"

Or "I'm off the booze for health reasons so I'd love it if we could make the focus of the hen do activities that don't require alcohol" (assuming it's not already all organised.

I didn't drink on my wedding day. I didn't give it a second thought.

Wedding Day
Imply to your bridesmaids you are pregnant or you're "late" and don't want to drink etc. People usually back off.
Sparkling elderflower water looks like champagne. If anyone hands you a glass of anything, accept it and put it down eventually. With photos it's actually quite hard to drink and eat on your wedding day until you get to the sit down meal part and you can completely control what the staff bring you.

Hen Night
Dental abscess needing antibiotics. Need to get that tooth fixed before your wedding day and honeymoon. Work your way through the mocktail menu. At my hen, two of my closest friends were both early preg and didn't want to say anything so they took charge of the kitty and impressed on the bar man that under no circs was he to put anything more than sparkling water and a slice of lime in their "G&T's' . It can be done.

Just don't drink and if people ask say you want to keep a clear head to really appreciate and remember the days.
I'd tell people in advance for the hen party as drinking can often be a big part of it. Yeah they might think you're pregnant but you can tell them you aren't, if that bothers you.

I don't see why you'd need to pretend you're drinking, at all.

One hen do is Thursday and one is the following Friday, both are planned but they centre around food and music, not just alcohol 👍🏼

Why would you need to pretend though? If you don't want to drink then you don't drink!

I’m not into creating fabrications, I just want advice for what to do if I come across judgement.

This^^

Or, if

I’ve no intention of pretending.

Ah fgs, hit send by accident!

If you're comfortable telling them, tell them the truth that it gives you anxiety and depression. I think that's honestly really common and it isn't like you're saying they can't have a drink. They should understand

Why on earth would you make up that you are pregnant? (and assuming no pregnancy emerges, people then assume you've miscarried?!) And there's no need to lie and say that you're having dental work!

OP, just say you're not drinking. If your friends are mature adults they won't give it a second thought.

That's great then.

Say you are trying out a booze free 3/ 6 months as you can’t handle the hangovers and hangxiety anymore and you feel like you are being poisoned but you have absolutely no issue with anyone else drinking obviously