Baby not invited to wedding abroad

[DnG]

Hi all, I need some advice. My good friend is planning her wedding abroad (where she lives), a 10h flight away. By the time the wedding comes round my baby will be 9 months old (currently entirely breastfed). We wanted to combine the trip with our honeymoon. Now it turns out children are not invited to the wedding, but a garden party the next day. My friend is suggesting to leave my baby with a babysitter during the wedding. I don't think I feel comfortable taking my baby on a 10h journey for the wedding to then not even being invited to the wedding. I also don't feel comfortable leaving her with a stranger in a strange place for a day. I'll be very happy to hear people's opinions. Thank you

No way I'd be going and leaving baby with a stranger. Leaving mine with DH wouldn't have been an option either for more than about 3 hours at 9 months. Mine were both still bf 4-5 times a day then. So if DH were there he'd have to be entertaining himself and baby close enough to the wedding to bring the baby to me to feed but not close enough that the banned baby accidentally attended.

Sod that.

Seriously OP I wouldn't take a none month old on a ten hour flight unless it was strictly necessary or to visit family they wouldn't otherwise meet.

I wouldn't even consider this, especially not on my honeymoon. If they're reasonable people they'll understand.

It doesn't sound like a very special honeymoon for you. Don't combine it, do your own thing. Or all you'll remember about your own honeymoon is this cheeky fucker!

And I did get married abroad due to living abroad. I had zero expectations of anyone coming from my home country

This! Gobsmacked at the amount of people suggesting her oh fly out for 10 hours so he can sit in a hotel room with the baby. And if I were the op I wouldn’t want to attend the wedding, and certainly not the reception after without my partner. It’s not like we’re joined at the hip, but I’d honestly rather not go to this sort of event without him even if it was 10 mins down the road!

No. Her terms are unreasonable,

Yes, if it’s your friend leave baby with dad for the day.

I mean obviously he wouldn’t for a day or two, but I thought OP was going to make a holiday/honeymoon out of the trip?

I'm all for the bride and groom having the wedding that they want, it's their day but the flip side of this is it might not work for those they've invited and if they are not willing to compromise and take other's situations in to account, which is entirely their right, they have got to accept some guests will not be able to attend.

So if it's a honeymoon you think it makes more sense to spend an entire day apart?

I would not leave a baby with a baby sitter I don’t know.

In this case I would tell your friend you won’t be attending and best wishes etc.

Yours are exceptional circumstances.

If she won't make an exception, then it's clear she's not bothered about your attendance.

Just send her a card and honeymoon somewhere else.

If OP wants to go to the wedding yes, as she then won’t be worrying about baby.

She’s the one suggesting combining their honeymoon with her friend’s wedding 😀

I take it your friend has no expedite of children/babies. I'd decline and go somewhere lovely as a family for your honeymoon.

How could she even think you'd leave your baby with a stranger, don't go she's not worth it...........

Agree, the 10hr flight would do it for me, I don’t think I’m that good friends with anyone aside from family to travel that distance to a wedding, not to mind the expense

What a baby sitter from a foreign country 🫣 oh my god

Agree, have whatever kind of wedding that you want just don’t expect guests to go to huge expense and travel for hours getting there

Decline the wedding invitation.
Go on a nice family honeymoon instead. Pick someplace lovely.

Out of interest did your friend travel 10hrs from that particular location to come to your wedding?

That's a hard no from me. I wouldn't do that for my closest family members never mind just a "good friend"

I wouldn't go to a wedding 10 hours & many £s away even without kids.
Just say no.

I wouldn’t go, I wouldn’t travel 10 hours for someone who wouldn’t allow a 9 month old baby to the wedding (different if the weddings near where you live). Have your honeymoon somewhere else of your choosing.

As others have said, perhaps dad can have baby while you go to the wedding and the. You can all enjoy the party together the next day. That's if you really want to go. If you're not fussed, then it's an easy decline!

"I'm sorry we can't come. We don't feel comfortable leaving our 9 month old with a stranger in a foreign country to attend your wedding"