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Original poster

Small wedding

33 replies

Lutricia007 · 11/01/2025 16:09

We getting married October 2025…small intimate wedding for 35 people. Our wedding night we staying in a near by hotel which is walking distance from the venue.

we not doing reception only ceremony , photos , few nibles glass of champagne 🥂 ect.

now few couple saying that they would love to stay in the same hotel over night + for drinks after the wedding in a hotel and possible dinner/ meal. Wedding itself would be finished 5pm latest.

i don’t know how to feel about it? In many ways yes it would be nice to mingle have drinks dinner ect but then i am thinking that would devalue my special day ? I can go out with them for drinks when ever but after the wedding i feel like it’s little bit akward ( maybe i am not to good explaining how i am feeling )

I just want to have intimate ceremony, pictures & then rest is up to the quest where they staying or what they doing after

I don’t mind breakfast in the morning with anyone who would stay in the same hotel.

Do I make sense ?

OP posts:
2chocolateoranges · 16/01/2025 09:19

Personally I think if that’s the kind of no fuss wedding you want then you need to invite less people.

to invite 35 people where some are considering having to stay in a hotel then an afternoon buffet along with the champagne is the least you should do.

TinyMouseTheatre · 16/01/2025 09:19

Cam1981 · 16/01/2025 07:59

I think you need to ask yourself why you are inviting guests ? You don’t want to feed them. You don’t want to mingle with them after the wedding you want them gone as soon as possible? It doesn’t sound like you want them there. In that case just have witnesses or go and elope somewhere.

Edited

I think BM I that's a very good point. The OP would do well to reflect on why she wants guests. And they are just that, they are your guests. I personally wouldn't invite anyone to my home without offering food and drink. I definitely wouldn't invite them to a wedding where they wouldn't even get a sausage roll free abc they'd have to buy outfits, gifts, sort out annual leave or lose pay if they are self employed and then pay for accommodation too.

QueSyrahSyrah · 16/01/2025 09:25

If you don't want guests then don't have guests. You can't half-arse it, ask them to be there to make the ceremony room feel full and be in the pictures but then they need to disappear.

You certainly can't police what they do after you've finished with them and they've every right to stay in the nearby hotel and continue the celebrations together, even if you're upstairs having room service or in a private dining space elsewhere.

bakewellbride · 16/01/2025 13:51

We had a small wedding - 18 people including me and dh. 35 is far from small and intimate!

And we treated our guests properly - paid for 3 course meal for everyone and unlimited drinks at a restaurant after a simple ceremony and nice photos. It was a wonderful, sunny day. No disco or after party though and the whole day was done by 6pm. Total cost £2.5k which included my lovely dress.

If you want guests you must look after them otherwise it's mean.

Maybe you should revise your plan so that it's a bit like mine. We didn't have a huge party or a late finish but we still provided the care for our guests which you seem to be lacking.

MrsAvocet · 16/01/2025 14:11

Yes, I agree with the majority. Your wedding is too big for it to be just the ceremony and nibbles really, especially if people are travelling. I think if you want the kind of wedding you are describing you need to keep it to very low numbers. When my cousin and her husband married they had a register office wedding at lunchtime then went to the pub for a meal and after that everyone went home. I get the feeling you are after something along those lines, but they only invited parents, siblings and a couple of close friends as witnesses and it was in their home town so no travel involved. You're inviting a lot more people and if they want to stay over presumably at least some are travelling a fair way. I think you've invited too many people for the "come and see us tie the knot but that's it" type wedding. You don't need to go the whole hog and be dancing til 3am but I do think you need to feed them.

Voneska · 16/01/2025 20:19

' Nibbles ' aren't a filling meal. You need to book a table at your Hotel for a meal in their Dining Room, whether for you or adjoining guests. Everyone is going to be starving because all that activity and excitement will cause terrible hunger which NIBBLES will not do. Believe me.

Baffy11 · 16/01/2025 22:14

Cam1981 · 16/01/2025 07:59

I think you need to ask yourself why you are inviting guests ? You don’t want to feed them. You don’t want to mingle with them after the wedding you want them gone as soon as possible? It doesn’t sound like you want them there. In that case just have witnesses or go and elope somewhere.

Edited

I thought exactly this.

BBQPete · 16/01/2025 23:17

Another who agrees with @Cam1981

You can't invite 35 people to witness your wedding then tell them to bog off without feeding them.

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