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Original poster

When to send save the date for destination wedding?

85 replies

countryroad12 · 04/01/2025 19:31

Getting married in 2027. Booking the venue soon as it gets booked very quickly. It will be in Italy, all friends and family in UK.
When should we send save the date? We will be inviting around 50-60 but want to let them know in advance so they have time to save and think about it.

Thank you

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/01/2025 19:36

Do you really have that many people with the spare money who can take time off work for your wedding? I wouldn’t be sending a save the date as it assumes they will probably attend.

Original poster
countryroad12 · 04/01/2025 19:37

Wolfiefan · 04/01/2025 19:36

Do you really have that many people with the spare money who can take time off work for your wedding? I wouldn’t be sending a save the date as it assumes they will probably attend.

Yes we do. I didn't ask for your opinion on the wedding, only when to send save the date. Thank you anyway

OP posts:
mummylove24 · 04/01/2025 19:38

As soon as possible, I’d appreciate knowing well in advance so I can plan ahead, book, save etc. x

DappledThings · 04/01/2025 19:39

ASAP. Don't think there's any such thing as too early when it involves people needing to book flights and plan any other holidays that year.

More than two years is really long though. You'll need to be prepared to allow for children who haven't even been conceived yet, partners who haven't been met yet but could be really serious relationships 2.5 years down the line etc.

MsSquiz · 04/01/2025 19:39

As early as you can to allow people to save, book time off, organise pet sitters, etc

Original poster
countryroad12 · 04/01/2025 19:40

@mummylove24 @DappledThings @MsSquiz
Thank you for your responses. Would you suggest 18 months isn't long enough?

OP posts:
IwillrunIwillfly · 04/01/2025 19:41

When my friend married abroad, she sent the save the dates as soon as they had the venue booked. She got them printed on magnets so people didn't loose them in the 2 years before the wedding!

theeyeofdoe · 04/01/2025 19:41

I’d let the people who will definitely be invited know as soon as you book the venue to save the date.

we had one for next year (annoyingly the first wedding for a couple of years which we’d love to have gone to), but I have something immovable on one of the days and DH needs to look after children.

Derogations · 04/01/2025 19:42

DappledThings · 04/01/2025 19:39

ASAP. Don't think there's any such thing as too early when it involves people needing to book flights and plan any other holidays that year.

More than two years is really long though. You'll need to be prepared to allow for children who haven't even been conceived yet, partners who haven't been met yet but could be really serious relationships 2.5 years down the line etc.

This.

2.5years - it is possible some of the people you send the STD will be dead. And you will have made new/more BFFs as a couple and some of these people will have let you down and may not be wanted on the list.

theeyeofdoe · 04/01/2025 19:42

@Wolfiefan it‘s only Italy!

RampantIvy · 04/01/2025 19:44

Please don't be offended if people decline.

Original poster
countryroad12 · 04/01/2025 19:44

Thinking 20 months then? I feel it's so far in advance. The magnet is SUCH a good idea! Ding ding thank you

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/01/2025 19:44

It may ONLY be Italy but many people have limited leave which they choose to spend with their own partner and/or kids. And flights, car hire, accommodation all add up. Plus we would need money to spend out there. Cats to cattery and dogs to kennels and a wedding present.
it’s a lot. Thankfully I won’t be invited. 😉

user2848502016 · 04/01/2025 19:47

I think 18 months at least so people can plan the time off work and finances

DappledThings · 04/01/2025 19:47

countryroad12 · 04/01/2025 19:40

@mummylove24 @DappledThings @MsSquiz
Thank you for your responses. Would you suggest 18 months isn't long enough?

Edited

It probably is for most people but I see no advantage at all in waiting. If you know the date there's no reason not to get it out there. As long as you're prepared to be flexible about the aforementioned new children/partners etc.

Nc54684 · 04/01/2025 19:48

As soon as you’ve booked the venue

pizzaHeart · 04/01/2025 19:49

I agree that straight away once the venue booked.
As the invite comes later people will have time to think and plan .
Think carefully about children situation as in 2 years time it might change for some people - new marriages, new babies, kids become teenagers etc etc

Hercisback1 · 04/01/2025 19:51

ASAP.
Exepct half the invitees to attend and have absolutely no expectations on anyone. Some won't book because of TTC, illness etc.

Hercisback1 · 04/01/2025 19:52

18 months may not be long enough to save depending on people's budgets too.

I'm a grinch of destination weddings. Expecting others to spend £££ attending your wedding isn't a great look imo. But if you're doing it, make it so that people can come if they want to.

meditrina · 04/01/2025 19:53

I wouldn't send a save the date at all.

Instead I would talk to your proposed guests and let them know that way. In conversation you'll get their reaction (and some idea if they are likely to be able to come)

Follow up by email idc.

WellsAndThistles · 04/01/2025 19:54

ASAP so the guests can put an plan in place to be "unavailable" that week.

Bobbybobbins · 04/01/2025 19:55

Asap especially for those you really want to come eg close family and friends. This lets people decide early and they can let you know if they definitely won't come so you can adjust plans accordingly

CandyLeBonBon · 04/01/2025 20:30

Completely not the point of the thread, I know, but I don't get the whole 'save the date' thing? Do you tell all your potential invitees that the venue is booked (ie save the date) and then whittle down the guest list and send out the invitations?

Why not just send the invitations? Please can someone put me out of my misery! 'Save the date' just wasn't a thing when I got married so I genuinely do get how it works.

Yellanip · 04/01/2025 20:36

CandyLeBonBon · 04/01/2025 20:30

Completely not the point of the thread, I know, but I don't get the whole 'save the date' thing? Do you tell all your potential invitees that the venue is booked (ie save the date) and then whittle down the guest list and send out the invitations?

Why not just send the invitations? Please can someone put me out of my misery! 'Save the date' just wasn't a thing when I got married so I genuinely do get how it works.

I've understood it to be that you've got your date and venue nailed so want guests to know so they can plan, but not necessarily worked out timings, meal choices, accommodation options.

I think it's inappropriate to send a save the date to people you don't end up inviting

McSpoot · 04/01/2025 20:38

CandyLeBonBon · 04/01/2025 20:30

Completely not the point of the thread, I know, but I don't get the whole 'save the date' thing? Do you tell all your potential invitees that the venue is booked (ie save the date) and then whittle down the guest list and send out the invitations?

Why not just send the invitations? Please can someone put me out of my misery! 'Save the date' just wasn't a thing when I got married so I genuinely do get how it works.

Save the date (which I always assumed only went to those who will be invited) are helpful in situations like this where people might need advanced notice to plan but not all the exact timing details (which you might not yet have). So, you send out once you know the date/location and then follow up with the proper invitation with all the details once they are known.