Is there anything you regret NOT having/doing on your wedding?

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Just that really.

Do you regret not having/doing anything in particular your big day?

I didn’t like my dress or hair. I never found ‘the perfect dress’ because I didn’t look for long and gave up and settled for something that wasn’t flattering. My hair was ironed flat and didn’t suit me at all.

I was not a typical bride in finding wedding planning exciting. I found the wedding experience and day stressful and anxiety-inducing. Luckily I’m much more relaxed as an old married lady🤣

I wish we’d had a cake! It was a small affair and very much what we wanted - non traditional dress/food/no formal speeches. No bridesmaids/best man/flowers etc just us two in a nice outfit. We arrived at the venue together and got changed on our own, so no big reveal etc.

When planning the meal I’d said we’d just have my favourite tray bake stacked up in a tower as our cake, but the way the venue cut and stacked it, it didn’t look anything like a tower/cake, it was just spread out on a plate! As a cake lover and someone who has made several other people’s wedding cakes since then, I now wish we’d had a proper cake.

And also slightly less formal photos as the photographer was very set in his ways and everyone had to pose in certain ways in straight lines etc whereas I’d hoped - and asked him - for more candid style pics. This was many decades ago before that was such a well known way of doing it, so I guess he hadn’t really done that before and was a bit baffled by us not having the requisite bridal party members (or indeed family members!) for the usual shots.

Oh and I wish I didn’t shave all my hair off a couple of months before the wedding! Had a bad hair day and didn’t think it through. STBH helped me do it though, so clearly he didn’t mind!

I regret going through with it 🤣🤣🤣

I regret not getting married earlier in the day. We had our ceremony at 3 and I do feel the day was rushed. I wish we had done it earlier so we could have had more tome.

Other than that the day was absolutely perfect.

I wish we’d done what we wanted to do and not what we thought our families wanted to do. Wanted a pub, red bus relaxed type day. Got a formal tired venue where it didn’t feel personal and the manager was rude on the day. Would have been cheaper and more us.

Wouldn’t have drunk so much on the day as I started married life with a hangover (I think rude manager drove me to it ha)

would have loved some professional video rather than just photos

We did it on a tight budget (£6k) and it was a beautiful day. The only thing I wish I’d had if we had more money was a videographer- my dad and my best friend both gave beautiful speeches and I would have loved to have a record of them. My dad was diagnosed with cancer a few months later (he’s since recovered thankfully!) and at the time I remember thinking I really wish I had his speech

I was very anti taking loads and loads of staged photos with guests waiting around for hours. We have lots of amazing reportage style photos but not one of me and my sisters (one of whom has subsequently died).

My hair looked a bit crap - should have spent more time on it.

My cousin saved money by having her other cousin to film it. But he had brought his new girlfriend who he was obsessed with, and 80% of the video is him narrating 'Aww, look, here's Sadie having a drink... now she's going to dance - come on Sadie, have a dance! Aww, now she's going to the toilet... I'll wait outside, Sadie...'. 🙈

I regret our (my) choice of photographer. She had a bit of an attitude, DH gets very self conscious in front of camera and she didn't put him at ease. Quality of photos is only ok, some are a bit dark.

Looking back I'd have spent more time and money on finding the perfect photographer and less on flowers and my dress (both of which were beautiful but extortionate).

It was still a lovely day though!

For me, I wouldn't have involved my narc mother in any capacity whatsoever - as far as she was concerned, it was all her day, all about her - she rushed me through buying the cheapest dress in the wedding shop, then spent ages and £££ getting hers made bespoke and shoes dyed... she even changed the colour of my flowers and bridesmaids' dress to one I hated and it was too late to change it when I found out... 🤬

But I was young and hadn't wised up to her at that point. Now I keep her at orangutans'-arms'-length and see her once or twice a year.

I wish we'd had a videographer

Exactly the opposite. We had one. DH and I watched it when it was given to us, was great/fine, captured the wedding perfectly, no issues. Several decades later and we have never watched it again. Couldn’t even tell you where the video (got several copies as part of the deal) is. I gather they are in some box in the back of a cupboard somewhere never unpacked after several house moves in the decades since.

For all those saying you wish you had it, seriously, how often/at all do you think you would watch it. On family movie nights with popcorn🤷‍♀️.

Our photo album is also packed away somewhere with other photo albums never touched these days. So, while we don’t look at it, I don’t begrudge the money for photos at the time as I guess when we are dead one of the kids might take it (🤷‍♀️), maybe there will be grandkids or those after who would like to look back at ancestors, who knows, OR someone will just ditch it when we die on unpacking the house, either, or. Whatever.

Eloping, or a simple registry office and pub after type thing. The money we spent would've been better spent on our mortgage.
I loved the day but with hindsight completely recognise I would've loved it still without spending thousands.

Spending so much money is the only thing. If I did it now I'd have the guts to wear a vintage dress, plus I wouldn't have spent £300 on matching shoes from a shoe shop in Sloane Sq!!

One thing I have never regretted is reducing the number of photos.
No wedding shoes/pics of getting ready/endless outside church/outside reception.
We did three at church, me and DH, me dh and DD and us with our parents as one group. Done.

Then at reception there were two formal pics, the rest was the photographer wandering around.

I never ever ever look at my wedding photos. We have one of our dance and one of us with DD on show.

Nope, also catholic Irish weddings. We were still drinking champagne a year later.

A really good videographer. I had one with my first wedding and it was so great. It’s not so much the actual wedding but lovely to see relatives ( especially the ones that have since passed). My second wedding we still had one but the photographer did it and it was a half assed job. It would have been lovely to have a better one.

Wish I'd given my dad a hug and kiss at the top of the aisle instead of just casting him aside, my only regret on an otherwise perfect day, I was just too caught up in the moment.

This.

We had quite a simple wedding and put the money where it mattered to us - good food, open bar, good band. But I really regret not having a videographer or at the very least asking friends to film speeches etc.

Danish weddings too. However we had a deal with the wine dude that he took back any unopened wines so didn't over spend.

Wish I’d specifically asked the registrar not to do the whole ‘who gives this woman to be married’ bit with my dad.. didn’t really think about it because it wasn’t in any of the forms they sent us to personalise the ceremony.
Wish I’d reserved more seating near the front for family, did immediate family and bridal party but had my auntie and cousins who I’m close to sat quite far back.
Wish I’d got more pics of our flower girl in her dress but she was only 3 and it was unseasonably warm for October so she was over it by the time family pics happened so she’s not in the posed ones which is a shame. I had ones with her pre ceremony but DH (his niece) didn’t manage to get one with her.

We opted for videography because a few friends who had got married previously had said that was their big regret. I wish we had gone for the next photo/video package up from the one we chose which came with an additional shooter because as much as I love both, with there only being one photographer and one videographer, they didn’t get DH’s face as I came down the aisle, just the back of his head 😅

After the meal, instead of a band or dj and people hitting the dance floor, there were board games at various tables and people could join a quick or longer game. Or they could make small talk. Just a replacement focal point for the evening activity.

it’s the kind of wedding ND people might have. Many of us hate traditional wedding receptions

A group family photo and not letting my parents guide me into the flowers they thought were enough. They were nice but not what I wanted.

I get married in 3 weeks & this made me cry, how lovely. Exactly how I feel.