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Weddings

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Is there anything you regret NOT having/doing on your wedding?

99 replies

user657865337 · 06/09/2024 22:49

Just that really.

Do you regret not having/doing anything in particular your big day?

OP posts:
bozzabollix · 07/09/2024 07:58

Not having my mum have so much of a say. Having professional photos done rather than friends with crap cameras. I’d have liked it far more quirky and less formal. Having said that it was a good day.

Oneearringlost · 07/09/2024 07:59

Is it standard to hire a photographer and a videographer?

Tisfortired · 07/09/2024 07:59

I loved my wedding, the only thing I regret is not asking somebody to film the speeches. It was only 2, my mum and husbands but both were so beautiful and I wish I could watch it back.

I do have their scribbled speech notes copied into my wedding album so I can read them back but would love to be able to watch that approx 20 minutes of the day.

Oneearringlost · 07/09/2024 08:01

For those saying they regret not getting a videographer, did they also not have a photographer?

Maireadh · 07/09/2024 08:04

Honeymoon. We couldn’t afford one because we needed a new roof. We said we’d have a holiday later when we could afford it. But now we have kids so we’ll never be able to have an adult oriented holiday that doesn’t involve catering for kids and dragging them along and going to bed early. Wish we’d just let the roof leak and had a week’s holiday by ourselves.

Tara336 · 07/09/2024 08:05

I learnt from the mistakes of my first wedding and so second marriage was perfect, we eloped, got married in a chapel of a castle with DD there and no one else, no fuss, no drama and just all the little touches that we wanted it was beautiful

HairyToity · 07/09/2024 08:05

Only regret is not having a really good wedding photographer.

Civilservant · 07/09/2024 08:06

Regret doing what my mum and DH wanted and having a big wedding. Found the whole run up and experience stressful.

I especially didn’t want a video, but without my agreement a friend of DH’s took loads. Have never watched it.

Did like the photographer and photos, we had very few posed ones at my request.

DelilahBucket · 07/09/2024 08:07

Not getting to eat - didn't get my carefully picked canapés because they were served while I was trying to go to the bathroom which of course took four times as long in a dress, then my dinner got whipped away half eaten while I was gone from the table, and I didn't even know the evening food was served as I was outside and by the time I knew, it was gone. I spent hours picking the food for the day and the only thing I ate was my starter.

I also regret not having my phone. My husband got all these great selfie style photos, I got none. I have the official photos and my husband got some of us together, but only one other photo with any of the guests in the evening.

I think there's an automatic assumption that as the bride you a) always know what is happening so no one needs to tell you, b) despite having no purse or means to pay for drinks you will always have a drink (no one bought me a drink, I had to set up a tab with a kind bar man), and c) you are automatically the person everyone takes photos of and looks after, when really if you're not organising shit it doesn't get done.

RampantIvy · 07/09/2024 08:10

Having a professional photographer. My uncle was a keen amateur photgrapher, so he took the phtotos. They are lovely snaps from the day, but not as good as anythng a professional would have done.

Other than that, no. We are still happily married 43 years later.

Galoop · 07/09/2024 08:10

the5percentclub · 06/09/2024 22:51

I really wanted an all attendees photo, like my parents had from theirs in the 50s, but our photographers seemed to think it was impossible... I regret not getting one anyway later in the evening even if a snap. So many people gone now, and it was so special having people there from all the bits of our lives.

What crap photographers! That was the first thing ours did after the ceremony, he got up on a ladder and got a shot of everyone

CraigBrown · 07/09/2024 08:11

I wish I had done a speech.

RockahulaRocks · 07/09/2024 08:14

Not sticking to my guns and having the theme tune to Jurassic Park while walking down the aisle. I went to a wedding recently where the bride walked to a dance song and it was all sorts of wonderful.

Galoop · 07/09/2024 08:15

Tisfortired · 07/09/2024 07:59

I loved my wedding, the only thing I regret is not asking somebody to film the speeches. It was only 2, my mum and husbands but both were so beautiful and I wish I could watch it back.

I do have their scribbled speech notes copied into my wedding album so I can read them back but would love to be able to watch that approx 20 minutes of the day.

Yes this is mine too. I didn't want a videographer and no regrets there, our photographer put together a montage to music which is lovely. But I don't have any videos of the speeches which would've been nice.

NOTANUM · 07/09/2024 08:23

Galoop · 07/09/2024 08:10

What crap photographers! That was the first thing ours did after the ceremony, he got up on a ladder and got a shot of everyone

Our photographer leaned out an upstairs window to take the photo of everyone on the patio below!
Where there is a will..

sakura06 · 07/09/2024 08:32

Getting enough sleep the night before! I was worried about how it would all go and the lack of sleep meant I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have.

Mizydoscape · 07/09/2024 08:34

thoonerismspread · 07/09/2024 06:46

That seems such a good idea, but, could you explain to me how it worked? What stage were they brought out? Did people seem to enjoy? What sort of games?

I'm envisioning the part of the evening where, people have had a bit to drink, not much else is happening and something to do broke the ice with people that may have been strangers/not well known to one another, cutting out that part where people get slightly fed up/don't want more drink, have exhausted small talk?

We had them at ours. They were stacked on a table in the corner with activity/sticker books for the kids and started getting used during the drinks reception. Then into the evening as people had more drinks they got more popular. We had a chess set, jenga, connect 4, snakes and ladders and uno. Jenga was the most popular!

Echobelly · 07/09/2024 08:36

We paid for too much alcohol, but that's probably only a problem for Jewish weddings!

Beginningless · 07/09/2024 08:40

Wish I’d had less people and it was more low key. Like pps, made sure I had the photo combos I wanted.

mondaytosunday · 07/09/2024 08:44

I wish I'd had a back up seating plan where all the vegetarians were mapped out! The caterers lost it and there were a few that went hungry as non veggies claimed the dishes!
I wish I had given my moh a list of things to remember to do before we left the venue. I forgot to ask her to be sure to take a menu card and order of service card, both printed by the venue and they could never get a copy to me after and I was so annoyed I didn't keep one. They also forgot the top layer of cake, though did go back the next day for it.
I wish I had made it clear with the band what song I wanted as first that me and DH would dance to - and that they should play that first (they insisted on a couple others first and it just caused an awkward start to it).
But mainly I wish the photographer was more prepared for the venue. I'd used her before but always outside and this was inside a listed building- and group shots half the people are in shadow. But she did snap most people coming in so have pics of everyone!
Oh and I gave a speech which I thought I'd write while getting my hair done but in the end it was off the cuff and I'm not a public speaker! I'd have taken more time and prepared better.

DottoTrain · 07/09/2024 08:58

Not enough family photographs. Family are the ones that stick around, not the bridal party who - while you might have lifelong friendships with, and that's wonderful, - sometimes and are more likely to fall away.
You want enough with the people you love. Your parents are pretty likely to depart this world a lot earlier than your friends and bridal party, so they're the ones you want in the photos to remember in years to come. Make sure you get ones with just your parents. With mum. With dad. With mum&dad. With groom, without groom. Just do it, you won't regret the extra 5 minutes in the day but you will regret not having them.

Also - I am strong advocate for getting married later in the day so the whole thing is relatively contained. Your guests will appreciate this too!

Gdamnwrinkles · 07/09/2024 09:02

We didn’t tell anyone we were getting married.
It was the second time for both of us and we didn’t want a fuss.
Looking back I really wish we had made just a bit of a fuss 😀

crunchyleavesontheway · 07/09/2024 09:33

I regret having a sit down dinner, it was too formal and cut down on time to mix with everyone there.

I regret not having a photographer that stayed into the evening and get some informal photos of dancing and silliness.

I regret choosing a smallish venue which has lots of small spaces rather than one big open space.

I regret not having a photo with just my mum.

crunchyleavesontheway · 07/09/2024 09:37

Oh and I regret not having all my friends as bridesmaids. Budget meant I chose just 2 but should have had them all.

BigDahliaFan · 07/09/2024 09:41

Having a professional photographer, we've never looked at the professional photographs since getting them. I thought at time it was a waste. The ones we have up were taken by friends.

We aren't professionals photo people.

Wish we'd put more money behind the bar.

Swapped 10 people from work with 10 people from a hobby who I still see and like,unlike the work people!

But it was a lovely day and I did get to spend time with people who'd traveled a long way (very spread out friends and family!)