Wedding invite QR code asking for bank details - is this a thing?

[Newbie2023]

AIBU to find this really odd - are we just totally out of touch with current wedding invitation protocols, or is this a thing now?

We’ve received a wedding invitation card for a friend’s son’s wedding, with a QR code to scan to say whether we will be attending, to access menu choices, etc.
No problem at all, happy to do these - but…

The QR code takes us straight to online forms that ask for our names, addresses, email addresses - ok.
However, the second page of the site asks us to enter our bank card details, and can’t move on without doing this, so can’t say if we’re attending, see a wedding list, give menu choices, etc.
It says the 7-day trial to use this site is free, then we will be charged monthly….
This feels a really odd thing to ask of your wedding guests, but happy to be told we’re just really out of touch!

Is this really actually a thing now?

Advice very welcome! TIA

I also think they've made a mistake on the QR code.

What did your friend (the mother) say?

OP says 'it isn’t a mistake, guests do have to input bank card details in order to accept/decline invitation, give menu choices, etc.' which clarifies that you have to put bank details in in order to progress on the website, which would be the case on a website that requires a sign up as many other posters have explained.

It doesn't mean that the bridge and groom are collecting bank details.

It’s not a cash grab, the website is paid for - the bride & groom aren’t asking for money they’ve just messed up the website sign up 🤦‍♀️

Sounds like a scammy site taking advantage of people wanting a convenient RSVP system.

I didn’t say the bride and groom were ‘collecting’ people’s bank accounts, but if they have set things up so that guests have to effectively sign up to a trial period of the website and provide a payment method for subscription before they can progress to RSVP, then they’re clearly happy with the site asking for them aren’t they ?

I know, the drama 🤣 the unnecessary reports of GDPR, of cash grabbing, of the bride & groom making off with everyone’s bank details, the rude declines to attend, some reactions are wild!

It does make you realise how little some people actually understand the internet which is kinda scary.

OP is saying this based only on what they have seen -they haven't actually asked those who set it up if this is how it's meant to be.

It's a mess up with them setting up some service and they haven't checked how it functions.

Tell them or they're going to have no guests at their wedding

No, I’d bet my life on them having no idea that the bank details are even being asked for, they won’t be using the site from the guest side and haven’t tested it before sending out the invites.

When they realise (if the OP tells the grooms mum!) I think they’ll be mortified.

If they’re asking for social media usernames then I would think the intention is to check the job applicants’ posting history to make sure there’s nothing that would bring the employer into disrepute if they hire them. Changing usernames wouldn’t really achieve anything because the prior posting history would still be there.

this. It's clearly a mistake on their part. Even the most insane of wedding couples would not reasonably be expecting all their guests to sign up to a 7 day 'free trial' on a website that they will then get charged a monthly subscription for (for what?) if they forget to cancel in time, as many will, just to RSVP and add menu choices. Insane.

Why don't you just query it with the mother OP?

Not necessarily- as many other posters have explained, often you can sign up for a QR code on these websites for free and not realise that people scanning it will be directed to payment. I've used them for work before, it catches people out more than you'd think!

If the bride and groom didn't test the code first then that it's completely plausible that they didn't know people will be asked for bank details. I don't think they're 'clearly happy with the site asking for them.'

I think were they aware, it would be more likely that a) they'd have not used that QR code provider or b) said to guests "you will be asked for bank details to access the information, but don't worry you can cancel in 7 days and not be charged". In my mind, sending the codes out knowing that people would be asked for bank details and not saying anything and just assuming people would be okay with it, is far and away the least likely (and frankly bit weird) option.

Anyway, all of this could be solved if the OP actually asked. For now, OP is making as many assumptions as we all are.

I can understand a gift list requiring bank details when you select the gift and check out, but not otherwise.

It’s a marketing tool for the RSVP website company, they want everyone who comes to their site for whatever reason to be a customer and sign up, just because you’ve not come across it doesn’t mean it’s not quite common.

When I used an RSVP site we just had to register with your email and set a password, IIRC. That was annoying enough every time you wanted to check something about the wedding. I'd rather it gave you the option to download an invitation so you can just look at that after.

I think this is probably it. It's likely one of these borderline-legal sites where they insert themselves as an unnecessary middleman and expect to make money from it - like these horrible sites that pay Google to come up first when people search for 'renew passport' and unwary users don't realise that it isn't the official government site, but rather one that will charge you twice the actual price for unnecessarily 'submitting your details on your behalf'.

Fair enough if a fancy site offered a pay-once service to the bride and groom for something much prettier than a free MS Forms page, but who in their right mind would actually want to subscribe to a site like this on an ongoing basis? How many weddings are the B&G planning on having?! And even if you did subscribe as a guest, in the mad wish to be prepared on a monthly basis for every couple who may invite you to their wedding and also happen to use that site, would the RSVP page not be in their (the B&G's) account and not yours?!

All I can think of is that it's somehow a scheme to enable to give a financial gift to the couple and pay it in monthly instalments (as seems to be very common for everything nowadays), with the site organising this and charging you a monthly fee for handling and/or credit for this 'service'.

It's a great idea to have the QR code and RSVP online as an option for those who want it - and not forcing elderly and/or more traditional guests to use it if they don't want to/can't - but demanding guests' bank details is absolute insanity; why ever should people be forced to sign up for something for YOUR convenience and then have to remember to cancel it again? Bearing in mind that many of these 'interesting' subscriptions are great at signing you up but also great at mysteriously 'having no record of your cancellation'.

Why don't you just query it with the mother OP?

That would be far too straightforward and lacking in drama.

But what are they selling you? Who in their right mind is going to want to pay a monthly 'subscription' for something that you only use as a one-off - and is completely out of your control as to if you might ever be asked to use it again in future?

The only people I can possibly think who would pay for this subscription are those who are conned and don't realise that they've signed up and/or can't figure out how to cancel. Tell me who would legitimately and intentionally sign up, fully wanting to pay for this 'service' on a perpetual basis?

Breathtaking, and they'd already been together for decades

guessing it might not be marketed just at weddings but at business hosting and so on.

Whatever their full service is, probably the ability to set up your own invite RSVPs etc for any kind of event. Who really knows unless we’ve got access to the site but there’s no doubt thousands of apps/websites offering this kind of service.

They’re using the incoming traffic from wedding invites to scope out potential new customers, and yeah probably get a few who forgot to delete after the 7 day free trial like lots of people do on all kinds of free trials, that happens regularly but nobody is forced to sign up without checking how to cancel.

What site is it by the way? It would be helpful to know so that we can all avoid it.

Yeah I know. I'm still so gob smacked they did this I wanted to share the anecdote ...

My take on the OP's third post is that it isn't a mistake that you have to input card details. NOT that it's a mistake* in the set up of the RSVP webpage, which is what I'd put my money on.

*Mistake meaning unintended by the B&G/ user error

Young persons assume us more mature people are ok with technology... and I assume that they are using it for the free trial without realising ...