What was your real reason for a child free wedding?

[pookachook]

If you had a child free wedding and were being 100% honest, what was your real reason for it? Weighing up pros and cons atm. Seems to be a bit emotionally charged.

Venue was a 5 star London hotel and dinner was at 7.30pm just wasn’t appropriate for children. Of course there was one couple who wanted to bring their 3 year old, we said no, they didn’t come.

No children at mine bar my MOHs baby in arms. I stipulated no children because my brother's children were so badly behaved and I knew it would cause issues so I had a blanket ban on kids

And for those of you saying “have the day YOU want” I’ll just say this - Surely Marriage is about starting a family (from other families that you have brought together) hopefully a family that will last forever, a wedding is just ONE day, think about the long game.

Have a fabulous day op

No. Not every family has, can have, or wants children.

Families are about a lot more than kids and weddings are definitely not about children. Signing of legal contracts is an adult action. Often followed up by a party with alcohol. Also an adult action.

Oh for gods sake you don’t need to have kids to have a family 🙄

What have other people's kids got to do with the family the bride and groom envision having themselves?

I'm baffled by your reasoning here.

Can with please stop with the "bringing two families together" shite.

I chose to marry my husband, his family were a by product.

What I’m saying is if you don’t invite the children of your siblings or in-laws which would likely go down like a bag of sick with your parents and inlaws there are going to be consequences aren’t there?
Do you want to start your marriage off on that footing?

Weddings are adult occasions in my opinion, and I think children find them boring and long, so we decided to make it child free. To be honest, the parents were pleased as they got to have a good time and relax. My sister just got engaged and she and her fiancé have been debating a child free wedding - I have a 1 year old, and am fully supporting her decision. Selfishly, I want to go and have a good time and have a drink which I couldn't really do if she was there.

Who I’m sure you see every birthday, Christmas, kids events for the rest of your marriage.

Lack of capacity, cost and the hecticness

but in reality now that I’ve had kids I should have allowed babes in arms and regret that I didjt initially (unless my friends had issues)

@Mojodojocasahaus children of siblings is different from other children. Most are happy with close families children, but not children you barely know and wouldn't recognise in a playground.

Agree @asterdaisy op just says “child free” though - wasn’t clear on if it was a blanket ban

Everything that @M340 said.

Not sure what you mean by "looks cheap", Mojo. It doesn't really make sense in this context. But I think every couple is entitled to be a little 'self-indulgent' on their wedding day, if I am honest.

As for "horrified". That's hilarious . I was much more horrified at the idea of wrestling a toddler and baby all day at a wedding, than the idea of going without them.

I did. Zero "consequences".

We're all relatively normal.

I never understand the angst involved in just (politely) declining a wedding invitation .. why do people get so worried about it?

If the circumstances don't suit you .. whether because of the date, logistics, expense, children invited or not ... just say 'so sorry but we are unable to join you'.

I'm genuinely surprised by all these child-free weddings. Not surprised by the reasoning for them as that's pretty evident (costs/ find kids annoying). But I'm in my 30's, have attended weddings all throughout my lifetime, about 10 as a child, and this year is the first time i've been invited to a child free wedding. Such an odd concept for me and people i tell are also surprised. But judging by this thread everyone's having one. I personally don't like the idea, especially for weddings abroad as sorting childcare is a total pain in the ass but we have to go.

Kids are loud and annoying. They need entertaining and the also cry. They also take up expensive places that I'd prefer other adults to have. Children stop their parents from relaxing properly.

Haven't had children at either of my weddings. Mind you at my second it was just the 2 of us...1st wedding 11 of us.

I actually found establishing firm boundaries politely and respectfully with my (lovely) MiL regarding our wedding set me up for the rest of my marriage. I dreaded doing it at first but I made it clear I wouldn’t be planning my wedding with her unfulfilled wishes for her own wedding in mind. The same applied to bringing up our children.

She respected my wishes and we get on very well. Our relationship is built on mutual respect despite being very different women.

Very simple : I don't trust people to keep their children quiet and/or for them to be well behaved. So I banned all children from my wedding. Funnily enough no one declined their invite!

@amispeakingintongues I have never attended a wedding where the couple declare it is child free. But I have attended quite a few with only a couple of children.
The one wedding I went to with loads of children was over by 9pm as most people went home. The couple were quite upset.

I didn't know anyone with children. I got married quite young so none of my friends had children and all but one of my cousins are around the same age as me (within 5 years both older and younger) and none of them had children. The one cousin who is a very different age to the rest of us hadn't been born then.

Literally didn’t occur to us to invite our friends’ children - to be fair I think only one friend had a child at that point, we got married quite young. Difficulties with bf or childcare wouldn’t really have occurred to us in our pre child days, unless a guest specifically brought them up. And we knew the friends, not the children.

Zero consequences here too. They enjoyed their child free day.