What was your real reason for a child free wedding?

[pookachook]

If you had a child free wedding and were being 100% honest, what was your real reason for it? Weighing up pros and cons atm. Seems to be a bit emotionally charged.

So we should pay triple the cost for a wedding to accommodate kids we don't know?

I'd prefer the adults declined on the most part.

Luckily 90% of our guests completely understood.

Self indulgent 😂

Having spent my entire life telling me not to have children the moment I got engaged my mum started nagging me about how I HAD to have children, I'd disappoint my fiance, in laws etc if I didn't, being married meant that you had to have children, what about when you get old yada yada yada. She raised the subject every single time that I saw her and nothing I could say would make her stop. I thought that if I allowed children at the wedding I'd be getting constant comments from her about it, hence I said no children.

We maxed out the venue, and we didn't want to subsidise having close friends or family by having kids there running around.
Plus we didn't want kids shrieking or running around. Babes in arms would've been different but none of the guests had any. It was far easier to say no to all than yes to some. That wouldn't have been fair. I have DC now and if we were invited to a child free wedding I wouldn't get all bent out of shape and entitled like many people on MN so.

People have choices and things change over time. If you want kids at your wedding, great. If you don't, great.

We got married quite late and if we'd invited all the kids we'd have had 47, of which about 40 would have been under 5.

We ended up having wedding party and family children only so our nieces and nephews and my cousins kids and my god children. We would have had a breastfed baby but in the end they weren't well enough to attend.

Cost was a factor but more space and the fact that 40 toddlers would have brought slightly more of a Saturday morning at soft play vibe than we were looking for.

I wanted a posh adult cocktail party vibe. Didn’t want kids ruining it by disrupting the ceremony, didn’t want them running around the reception making a noise and skidding across the dance floor, because my £££££ party was not a kids playground. Also I thought people might stay later if they were child free and had booked a babysitter, I didn’t want them leaving at 8pm to put kids to bed.

I find other people's kids annoying, they're noisy, generally get in the way, language has to be watched in front of them, and the parents are never able to relax and let their hair down fully. Absolutely fine for day to day life, but not at a wedding. Ours was child free apart from babes in arms, and it was definitely the right decision for us

Horrified 😂😂😂

Nah. I didn't have kids at my wedding. Best thing ever. We're also going to a no kid wedding and our DD isn't invited. No horrified people around here. Not sure who you hang around with but being horrified about not having your kids invited to a wedding that ISNT YOURS is pretty self indulgent.

And who cares if the bride and groom are self indulgent. It's their wedding day. They're paining for it. Let them be self indulgent. No kids trump what the bride and groom want.

I have a 2 year old and wouldn’t dream of taking him to a wedding. I literally don’t bat an eyelid when he’s not invited.

Our wedding was originally envisioned as 10 people at an elegant dinner party. That got expanded to a couple dozen people at an elegant dinner party, but it was still very small and very different than a traditional wedding. We rented out a whole restaurant on a night they were normally closed.

It was just in the evening. We did a cocktail hour, then did our vows, then had dinner, then a bit more time at the bar, then everyone went home by 9.

it just wasn’t an event for children and only one set of our guests even had young children and we were ok if they couldn’t attend. If we had siblings with children, we would have planned a very different even from the beginning because it wouldn’t have been practical. We wanted something that was easy for everyone.

I’d have thought if you were close enough to invite someone to the biggest day of your life that you would have known their kids 🤷‍♀️

I go to church so take weddings seriously. Been to too many where children were running up and down the aisles, screaming shouting etc throughout the ceremony. It obviously didn't bother the parents - some thought it was cute and funny - but it did bother me.

I was marrying a man who had been married before. Huge distance difference between where DSD lived and the wedding, no one to look after DSD and take them home after, dh's ex would have been pissy about arrangements... Plus I wanted an adult fun wedding! It was easier to go child-free.

We had family children only. Which still came to about 15. If everyone had brought their kids, the numbers would have been about the same for adults and kids! I didn't want to have a party that was like a kids birthday party!

When I say self indulgent I’m just pointing out that there are many many threads on Mumsnet where parents are tying themselves up in knots to attend the weddings of friends and loved ones just because they’ve banned kids. Not everyone has easy childcare.

Just trying to show an alternative pov for the op who it sounds like is trying to make a decision.

I'm definitely not horrified when my children aren't invited, and even if they are then I usually get a babysitter instead of bringing them - adult focussed events are much more fun without children there!

Nobody knows and likes their friends toddlers so well they're desperate to invite them to their party 🤣🤣🤣

I get that 😂

Believe me no one was more pissed off than me at my 3 year old nephew squarking in the church, but he was part of the family and who would have had him if he hadn’t been invited.

Op have a think about your loved ones and what their circumstances would be for childcare and if they’d want to leave their children before you make a decision that many people will disagree with and will prove controversial

Small venue, late afternoon wedding straight into live music / bands. No space on the dance floor for children!
I honestly believe it wouldn't be a nice environment with most adults drinking. We said our nieces and nephews could attend but our siblings declined.

We invited kids of guests who we felt would have had to bring them (eg I have some close friends here where all four grandparents and relatives so babysitters live abroad and we also didn’t expect friends from abroad to travel without a toddler, for instance) and kids who were very close relatives like nephews.

We did it purely because this criteria resulted in nearly 20 kids in a wedding of less than 100. About a quarter of our guests were kids of different ages and heavily toddlers due to our ages where it seems all our friends have had babies recently. Cost wasn’t a consideration fortunately. It did change the dynamic and our vows and speeches were arguably ruined some might say by tantrums by different kids. There was a lot of parents walking out with fussy babies too which can even be seen in some photos! They didn’t think to sit at the back row… But they were fun otherwise!

Honestly, I adore kids and work with them but I completely support (and get excited about) child free weddings now - especially now I’m a parent myself. Prior to my wedding, I didn’t really understand it. I dread mine kicking off at weddings nowadays! You’ll always get one or two on here saying it’s down to parenting. Not with little uns…

Have the wedding YOU want. Congratulations.

Yep, our wedding was totally boring for kids! We made sure they had nice kids meals and snacks but I refused to put on a bouncy castle and stuff like that! It was bad enough planning the wedding let alone kids’ entertainment too! Sorry if this makes me a miserable cow. That reminds me: one guest asked if we were putting on childcare. LOL! As if…

Because I don't particularly enjoy the company of most children, especially en masse - I can't stand the running around and shrieking. Babies I'm fine with (we had a couple there), teens not a problem (nobody had one), but the middle bit, no thank you.

We had a small wedding and all of our friends were absolutely delighted to have the opportunity for a proper get together without their kids needing their attention.

Don't do this. Think of the day YOU want op.

I didn't want kids shouting out or crying during the ceremony. Family kids were there but thankfully they were quiet. You're allowed to have what you want on your wedding day. I have kids now and would hate to take them to any weddings!

We didn't want my husbands niece there under any circumstances.

It was a small wedding and she is loud, badly behaved and cannot stand being the centre of attention. My in-laws would have done absolutely nothing about her behaviour, therefore no kids at all.

Luckily our friends were more than happy to leave their kids at home.