What was your real reason for a child free wedding?

[pookachook]

If you had a child free wedding and were being 100% honest, what was your real reason for it? Weighing up pros and cons atm. Seems to be a bit emotionally charged.

We didn't have any children at our wedding including babies because it changes the whole 'vibe' of the occasion. We wanted an adult event, not a children's party with children taking up the dance floor and talking/crying over the vows/speeches.

Pretty much no-one we knew had kids at the time. The only exceptions were (1) two of my bridesmaids, who had already told me that they were planning on leaving the kids with grandparents and (2) a couple of my husband's cousins who we were borderline on inviting anyway - he had only seen them maybe three times in a decade and never met the kids. Essentially we had no kids in our life that we wanted there and no guests who we'd have missed if they'd said not bring the kids would be a dealbreaker.

If I were getting married now it would be a different situation - we have nieces and nephews, a lot more local friends with kids and a child of our own.

Costs. There would have been 52 kids at our wedding, none of those would have been our own.

We happily agreed all babies, but at £50 a head for 3-11 and £75 a head for 11-17 I couldn’t manage that on top of our adult guests.

We had them at our engagement party and most parents decided not to bring them anyway.

the reason we gave was also cost as well. What’s the point in lying?

Numbers were strictly limited by the venue size/insurance
Reception venue was a restaurant with no outside space and front door opened directly on to a busy street. Couldn't have been less child friendly.
No immediate family had children yet.
Guests with kids largely had older 7-10 yr olds so would not be really stuck
Babes in arms welcomed.
We had 100 at our reception. At least 10 were pregnant. More of an issue for friends who got married a year or two later

Cost, space at the venue and didn't want that kind of wedding 🤷🏻‍♀️

We only had family children (my cousins, who are all much younger).

Apart from that - we were the first in our sibling and friend groups to marry and have children. So there weren't really any to invite.

Well I recently went to a wedding where 20 kids were invited! They did have a little play corner for them at the venue. Bride and groom are mid 30s and most of their friends and family have very small children so making it child friendly meant everyone could come (most people would not leave a baby at home overnight for a wedding) and it was honestly lovely. It hit the right tone I think, yeah some.parents had to excuse themselves early but at least one half of the couple stayed late (we all stayed overnight at the venue).

Looks cheap and self indulgent AF I think.

These couples almost always don’t have kids and if the boot was on the other foot they’d be horrified their kids weren’t invited.

Nobody we knew had DC. The youngest person there was my 13 year old cousin, and he was the youngest person who could conceivably have been invited.

I don't know the teenagers in my husbands group of friends. Teenagers would've hated our venue and singer choice and for every teenager a friend would've been knocked off the guest list. So we blank banned all children apart from our own early teens and our siblings children

I didn't have kids when I got married but I have one now and no, wasn't horrified at all when he wasn't invited to a wedding.

I'm a teacher. I didn't mind children at the church service but I didn't want any at the reception.

Had a tiny wedding with hardly anyone there.

We're childfree by choice and don't enjoy the company of children. And we wanted a knees up with our mates.

Of course not.
I mean, I think it is normal to not have dc there.
I also think it is normal to have your siblings' dc there and no other dc.
I guess if your cousins are very close, then their dc would have a close enough relationship to the bride and groom to maybe be invited.
Everyone has different relationships with people though - it isn't 'set' just because someone is a cousin that we all have the same relationship with that person.
I don't think it is normal to invite all sorts of dc that you don't have a relationship with, at all. However, it might be that you have a particular 'best friend' that you are closer to than other cousins and potentially you might have God children that you are closer to than other people you are related to.

Re the breast feeding - a child of 18 months is perfectly able to survive without their mother for a day. If a mother chooses to breastfeed for that long, that is 100% up to her, but it is her choice to not want to leave her child at an age when the majority of parents would be able to. So, again, not rude to not include that child. They are not a 'babe in arms' at that stage but very much a toddler.

Because I knew damn well SIL & BIL wouldn’t look after their 5 kids under 7. They had form for not parenting and they had been awfully behaved at other family events, so why would our wedding be any different?

Sadly all of DH’s family threw a massive tantrum about them not being invited, when we vaguely mentioned it at planning stage.

So we moved our wedding 200 miles further away so they they’d be less likely to come. They still turned up, and guess who ran riot throughout the whole day ignored by their parents. I might still be salty about it 23 years later 😁

We had a lovely venue right on the river with big open doors straight onto a jetty. Parents wouldn't have been able to relax at all, and there was no way of child proofing the place (aside from shutting all the doors and windows). Also it was a small venue and inviting children would have made it impossible to accommodate the adults we wanted to spend the day with.

I’m a guest at a wedding tomorrow. It’s a friend of DHs from uni. My kids (age 8 and 5) are not invited. The couple have never met our kids. The friend mentioned that it’s not a child free wedding, family children (I assume) will be there. I am not remotely offended my kids aren’t invited. I’m very much looking forward to a child free day and night (staying over in hotel!), not having to deal with my kids being bored and annoying, and we’re very fortunate that my parents are more than happy to babysit for us.

My DB got married last year. I would have been a bit offended if my kids weren’t invited at all as they’re close family. They were. And we got a babysitter for them for the evening part anyway.

Didn't want noise/running/damage/faff. We have 4 kids, we don't hate children. But in a lovely abbey, followed by reception at a naice building was not where we wanted children running and screaming. We are never offended if our kids aren't invited to events/weddings.

Because I thought children were quite irritating and I just didn’t want to have to deal with their shrieking and nonsense on the best day of my life.

We had a child-free wedding. We were early among our friends to get married, so hardly any of them had a child, but the real reason was so that we didn't have to invite all of DH's cousins' children. He didn't know them well (and still doesn't - we haven't seen them for years) but it was easier to say it was child-free than that they weren't invited.

We included 2 babies but both were under 6m.

I wouldn't have invited a BF 18mo.

I don't think weddings are for children, it's a long day and they get fed up and for me, if I'm invited to a wedding, I wouldn't take my children because I'd enjoy it more not have to worry about them

Only my daughter is invited, weddings are intimate and extremely expensive. I don’t want the guests children running around screaming, I want all my guests to let their hair down and have a great stress free time.

This.
Old friends of ours allowed their toddler to run amok at my Dad's funeral, and yes, they thought it was terribly cute...
Some people have don't give a toss how their kid's behaviour impacts anyone else.