Child not invited to wedding

[ano124]

Me and my sons dad have split but his sister is getting married and not having any kids there,
She has asked if he can be there before the actual wedding but isn't invited to wedding as it's no kids,
Is it wrong to not let son go? The way I see it as he is her brothers flesh and blood but not invited but good enough for a few pictures before hand?

I understand the whole concept of no children at weddings but feel it's different when it's family that close?

This is nothing to do with you! Let your ex manage it as he sees fit.

Fair enough she doesn’t want a 2YO at her wedding. As for the photo shoot before meh, it’s some family photos, who cares. It’s up to your ex to facilitate it though, you shouldn’t be called upon to pick and drop.

Reading your updates re dad, sounds like an easy no 🙂

I agree with this. Taking young children to weddings sucks.

The odd thing is that they want him for the photos. But just leave it to his dad - it will probably be too much hassle for him and he'll tell his sister no can do.

his dad would prefer him not be there as bad as it sounds means he can drink and not have to look after him, probably reason behind asking me
Sounds about right, I didn’t take my toddler to the last wedding we were invited to for exactly this reason!

Oh I am fine with no children at the wedding, I had none at mine, bar my own kids but to ask for them to be there before is just odd. And yes, OP, I'd say no.

Just let her have her day how she wants it

They are. They are using him as a prop

She doesnt need her nephew as a proper for a couple of photos.

Don't facilitate this craziness.

Fair enough if you don’t want kids at your wedding ( you do you and all that) but don’t expect other people to be inconvenienced getting their toddlers dressed and transported to some location in order to appear in photographs so you can appear that you like kids 🤷‍♀️

Maybe there’s a business opportunity in that… hiring out adorable children to pose for you then fuck off when you’re done with them.

I would bat this entirely to your ex.
Either he takes him and has to look after him and bring him home, or he doesn’t. As far as you are concerned, no you won’t be pushing missing about on the day.
Also either you have children there or you don’t. Who the hell does this fake photo crap?

Auto correct pissing about

I would be telling her to take a running jump I'm afraid.
Using a small child to make the photos look good? Would he be expected to turn up in a wedding type outfit?
No thanks, off you f**k!!

Surely she wants him there because they’re family photos and she considers him family? Is the same happening with other family children?

Is it on your ex’s weekend/time with him? If not, let him swap then he can do the getting ready and picking up and dropping off and arranging a babysitter for the reception.

Sounds like you just don’t like the sister. A two year old won’t realise he’s missing the party, but he might be sad that he’s not in the wedding photos when he’s older.

I imagine she is probably fairly happy for her nephew to be there as he is family.

But as you will not be attending (due to split) your ex has told his sister he cant be arsed to look after his child all day at the wedding, so has passed the job of telling you on to his sister.

He's is the first grandchild, I get on well with sister reason why she has asked me, as I just spoke to his dad and he doesn't care that he won't understand needing to leave he just wants to see him before wedding

I understand your annoyance but I think I would probably agree as long as dad/someone I knew and trusted from dad’s family did all the running about/covered all the expenses.

ie they pick your DS up and get him gussied up for the camera and then drop him back to you when they are done.

(I’d say to remind them to make it fun for your DS but if they don’t make it fun they won’t get any happy pics anyway, so the reminder is superfluous).

Right now your son is too young to care but in years to come it will be better for your son to be in his Auntie’s wedding pics than not be (it’s not nice to look at photos on say, Nana’s mantelpiece and wonder why you weren’t included).

Never get this , always have close family even babies at our family weddings.

Yeah I just feel when he gets older he will question why he wasn't there all day and will see that he was used for photos then had to leave

Ping it back to the bride saying that she needs to discuss arrangements with her brother / child's other parent as he will be the parent making any decision or arrangements as necessary for his family wedding. Then step right back and let the other parent sort it out.

*Yeah I just feel when he gets older he will question why he wasn't there all day and will see that he was used for photos then had to leave."

I would think that when he's older he'll hopefully have enough common sense to understand why they didn't want a toddler at their wedding, and even if he were there, he wouldn't remember it anyway. He's not being "used", FGS, they just want him in some family photos. Why make this so dramatic?

I don’t think he will ever care. Who would?!

The only issue I can see is if you have to do any running around to facilitate this. Don’t. It’s his dad’s job.

I'm fine with child free weddings but she can't have it both ways, this is very cheeky.

I'm not sure I understand why this is an issue. It's your ex sister- so if he wants to pick up your son, take him for photos, bring him home, go to the wedding that would he fine by me. Likewise, if he doesn't want to do all that then your son doesn't go.