What have you learned?

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What tips would you give to those planning a wedding ?

What would you do differently? What would you not even bother with ?

Love to hear from everyone on their different experiences ❤️

Is there a particular reason you want to know? Are you planning a Wedding?

Yes we are.

I just think it would be helpful to hear experiences of what people would do differently or wish they had done etc.

For example, I've heard of people worrying about seating plans but on the day they didn't even notice and wish it didn't stress them out so much.

We spent a fortune on flowers for the church - I didn't even notice them, it wasn't a requirement as I was led to believe, and we could have saved about £1000!
Also - look at table decoration hire - less head ache, and may even be cheaper!

Do exactly what you want. People want to input and get offended regardless of how much you try to accommodate them. Make sure you don't stray to far away from your wedding. Make sure everyone is fed and watered. I traveled 3 hours and stayed in a hotel for a wedding. They had a buffet. I was starving and not impressed.

Thank you xx

The day goes by in such a blur that the little things really don't matter.
For me, the most important thing was that our guests were happy, well fed and watered and the evening entertainment was enjoyable.
All the little bits and bobs don't really matter.
Also, I found all the photos took ages and really take you away from the wedding - at some points had fomo at my own wedding haha. I recommend having a really concise list of pictures you'd like to get and getting it done as quickly as possible so you can spend time with your guests as the day really does fly by! Xx

Have a guest who knows what the plan is and can get things back on track if it goes off plan!

I don't have many regrets about ours. My tips would be:

Don't have too many group photos, they take you away from the fun. Get a candid photographer who can take nice natural shots whilst you are enjoying yourselves.

Entertain your guests, think about their experience and provide lots of food and drink. Don't leave them standing around for hours.

Ensure there are spaces people can go and sit away from the party/ main event.

Definitely have a seating plan. It's one thing that is important to get right, people do worry about where they are sitting.

This one's a bit controversial - but limit the amount of fuss/ ritual around the two of you. We didn't have a cake cutting or a first dance, didn't walk down the aisle, didn't have bridesmaids/groomsmen for example - and didn't feel any worse off for it! It made the whole day feel so relaxed.

Finally, be very clear with the venue exactly how you want the day to run. We made a document for ours explaining everything, including the day before when we were dropping off all of the stuff, and the day after for cleanup/ picking stuff up. It might seem a bit OTT but actually it was very helpful for them. They had their own version but it didn't have enough detail on it and we knew it would lead to problems/ misunderstandings. Don't be afraid to be assertive about what you want!

Good luck and enjoy.

Oh, and don't bother with favours!

I’d recommend how we did ours, which was the two of us in a registry office, with two close friends as witnesses, then off to the pub afterwards.

It was a lovely day, a nice meal, and as little stress as possible.

I have never planned a wedding but I have been to a lot.

The thing I hear the most is that guests make the day. Having said that I come from a culture whereby nearly everyone knows each other or knows someone that knows someone. So people do get up and have a good time.

My experience has broadly been — the more the couple spend on themselves, the less enjoyable the wedding is for everyone else.

Anything with 'wedding' included attracts a huge price premium. Cars, cake, decorations, flowers. If you can order/buy/hire 'normal' things, you can save quite a lot.

Many — I'd say most — guests find weddings quite boring. Don't add to their boredom. Yes, a wedding is about the couple getting married, but there's a balance; it's also about the guests who come to celebrate with you. If you spend two hours fucking around having photos of yourself taken in a variety of unrealistic poses, people are going to get bored.

Guests care about practicalities — is there much walking/travel between venues, can we park nearby, is there an accessible loo, will there be enough to eat. They care about this kind of stuff much more than whether colour schemes match up or if there are three favours in the bags rather than four.

That you don't need all those "little touches" that add time stress and £££.

That good food, entertainment and plenty of booze are what will make your party go with a bang.

Invites are a nightmare, you're bound to piss someone off. A child free wedding is guaranteed to offend (but may be necessary depending on numbers and costs)

Don't ask everyone for lots of elaborate input.

Do organise a photographer but don't get sucked into fancy packages.

Keep the hen cheap and accessible.

You're going to spend the day hosting which is hard work. Don't expect to enjoy it in the sense you would a party you attend as a guest. The honeymoon is when you get to enjoy and relax.

Oh and plan if between you and DP. Don't let anyone else take over!

1. No favours
2. Don't keep folks waiting for 2hrs while you have your photos taken
3. No long speeches. Touching, funny, sweet, whatever, but they can drag on
4. No need for an evening do, just have your ceremony and reception
5. It'll be fine, even if it's not perfect 😊

Be really clear in your communication.

So tell people when to expect to eat, what to do in photos etc. it's so much more comfortable as a guest to know what is expected!

Don't worry about what people expect- flashy dress, 15 bridesmaids. Do what works for you and your family.

Do compromise to make important people happy- if the baby wants to join in throwing the rose petals, go with it.

Ask around your friends and families if they have skills you can harness- makes it so much more personal. My aunt played the organ, etc.

Prioritise good food and wine and plenty of it, and a decent band. that’s what your guests will appreciate and remember.
Don’t spend money on fripperies like favours on the table, and baskets of toiletries in the ladies loos, absolute waste of money

Don't bother with favours/table decorations/centrepieces/all the pointless stuff that ends up being expensive.

Provide lots of yummy food, lots of free booze, and a band.

I think providing good food and a free bar are important. I've been to weddings before where you end up paying a few hundred to get there, pay for a hotel, take annual leave, buy a gift...and then you find you have to pay for your own drink at a cash bar.

I spent hours, days, weeks doing a seating plan. People dropped out last minute so I had to redo it the morning of the wedding!
Don't spend loads of money of favours, signs, decorations etc. People want good food, drink and atmosphere!

Oh yes, another poster reminded me of free bar. We only decided the day before the wedding to put money behind the bar and that's what the guests commented on the most on the day!

Don't do 'evening guests', just invite people to all or nothing.

Prioritise good food, people still tell us how much they enjoyed our wedding breakfast.

Invitations I wish I did the website option now where everything was online.

Lots of food, lots of drinks and some nice non alcoholic choices too!
Plenty of seating
Not a crazy loud band
Do not scrimp on canapes or similar when you are off to get the pictures done. Make sure your guests are fed and watered and taken care of.
No favours

Couldn't agree with this more.

Don't suck up guests' entire weekend; just have ceremony followed nearby by champagne, cocktails & appetizer food, over by 6pm so people can get on with their lives.

Congratulations!

Here is what I would advise from my experience

Firstly, your wedding = your decision - this is easier of you pay for everything yourselves

Find good suppliers then let them to their job

Keep it simple, don't sweat the small stuff, don't faff around with themes, dress codes, favours, cars, bridesmaids. Your guests couldn't care less about all that.

Invite people to everything - reduce your list down to people you would gladly spend fifty quid on for a restaurant meal

Make sure people have an idea of timings - particularly the elderly, those with health problems or those who need to make childcare arrangements

Don't make people hang around with nothing to do for ages. Make sure they get food, drink and somewhere to sit.

Keep formal photos to a minimum, then give your guests a drink and get the photographer to take loads of informal shots. Those are our favourites

Have a wonderful day!