I’m slightly going against the grain on this.
Photos are, to me, a really important part of the day. You do need to ensure your guests are happy and looked after and there has been a lot of talk about people getting bored while photos are being taken but I think that’s just par for the course at weddings. Yes, your guests should be happy and comfortable but not at the expense of you and your spouse having something to look back upon.
I’m coming at this from the experience of having been a bride but also having worked as a wedding photographer.
The day really does go by in a blur and the photos are great and providing and jogging memories of the day, especially if these involve lots of candid snaps of your guests as well as staged photos of the couple. After 15 years, I still look at mine regularly.
In my experience, a lot of people like to get involved with the photos – watching what’s going on and taking their own snaps. So long as they don’t get in the way of the photographer, I really don’t see what is wrong with doing this – the mother of the best man, may want to take a photo zoomed in on him, dressed up ad looking good but isn’t too fussed about the rest of the wedding party, for example.
People tend to get bored and annoyed when the couple are whisked off for a couple of hours to another location for photos; or the photos happen at the venue to guests are banned from certain areas; or guests are allowed to watch but barked at to put their own phones and cameras away. So long as there is an agreement that nobody posts pics on social media before the bride and groom, there should be no issue here.
There will always be people who have no interest in the photos and that’s also fine – make sure there are plenty of seats, free drinks and canapes for those folk and everyone should be happy.
Do also think about guests who may be attending alone and may not know anyone. Give them something to do, or ensure they are introduced to others before any periods of waiting around (depending on personalities).
But even after all that, please don’t take more than an hour for photos.
40 mins is probably more than enough. Have a list of group shots agreed ahead of schedule (around 15 is fine). I do get annoyed when the couple and photographer seem to be making it up as they go along – “ooh, maybe we should get one with x and y…” as this does drag out the process. Have the photographer take candid shots for the rest of the time.
Aside from photos, my only other piece of advice from personal experience is, if you do get sucked into the bridesmaid thing, do choose someone you really want and don’t be persuaded to use a family member just because it’s the done thing.
I was talked into having my 16 year old cousin whom I barely knew. I really didn’t want more than one bridesmaid anyway as I’ve never really seen myself as an entourage type of person. She was too young to be involved in the hen do and then sulked and pouted through the wedding as she was bored and wanted to be hanging out with her friends. I had given her free choice on dress, shoes, hair etc (but paid for everything) and I know she loved the dress as she re-wore it to her prom later that year. I wanted to share some of the organising with a friend, including getting ready together and being there for each other on the day but instead I got eye-rolls and stilted conversation.