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Original poster

Monday wedding

70 replies

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 08:18

We've finally decided to start wedding planning!

The question: is a Monday wedding awful?
It's about £5000 different, just for the venue.
I was thinking about a Sunday as a compromise but assume a church won't marry us on a Sunday - I haven't actually looked into that yet.

His parents are retired, mine work Monday-Friday but I'm sure they could book the day off.

A lot of our friends and family work shifts anyway so it could inconvenience them just as much if it was planned for a weekend, but I don't want to look like a massive knob.

What do you think?

OP posts:

LethargicActress · 08/11/2021 08:33

but I think if anyone was bothered enough to not attend just because they thought we were being cheap I wouldn't want them there anyway

You are being cheap though. You’re going for the cheapest time possible and basically saying to your teacher guests that you aren’t really bothered that they won’t be able to go, and telling the ones with school age children that they either have to inconvenience themselves massively, let their child have an unauthorised absence on their report or not go, so you aren’t bothered about them either.

PurBal · 08/11/2021 08:38

I went to one once. It was actually fine and the bride and groom were teachers so worked for them (school holidays) but most people had left by 9pm.

Bushkin · 08/11/2021 08:38

I’d definitely prefer a Thursday to a Monday but neither are great as we have kids and annual leave is a scarce resource that I hate having to use in term time.

If you must, I’d go for a day time only thing. That should help keep costs down too.

WouldBeGood · 08/11/2021 08:38

I think you should do a cheaper Saturday alternative.

PurBal · 08/11/2021 08:40

Some churches will conduct weddings on Sunday (ours wouldn’t because we have 4 services on a Sunday and there wouldn’t be time) in the same way that some churches will marry you in Lent or Advent (but many won’t). It depends on the individual set up.

Chippymunks · 08/11/2021 08:41

WouldBeGood that’s what I think, who wants the first impression of their wedding to be ‘oh the bride and groom went for somewhere posh/expensive but didn’t want to pay full whack?’.

Laufeythejust · 08/11/2021 08:47

With a weekday wedding you are saving money but almost passing the expense on to your guests- through the loss of pay/ annual leave. I’d probably still go but I would resent the use of leave for it.

StCharlotte · 08/11/2021 08:51

I've heen to two weekday weddings this year. One involved three days annual leave as it was a six hour drive away. Luckily I had a lot of leave carried over due to Covid but that won't be the case in a "normal" year and annual leave is very precious to me.

Fridays are fine, any other day is a PITA unless it's very local.

KatieKat88 · 08/11/2021 08:53

We had a Monday wedding but it was also a bank holiday and in half term. Lots of guests were teachers so that worked perfectly. Some guests left after the first dance if they were working on the Tuesday which was fine with us (but we were probably lucky as not many did). Best of all the venue charged the usual Monday price - no idea how they hadn't cottoned on that they could charge more as it was a bank holiday but we got it so much cheaper than a Saturday. I'd check with anyone you really really want to be there first (e.g. close friends and family) and then graciously accept anyone who needs to decline if you do go with this option. Good luck organising everything!

Yogaandcocoa · 08/11/2021 08:55

We're going to a Monday wedding which was fine for me but DH couldn't get two days off work so we could stay over so it means going and coming back in a day. That's fine as it's not too far but with a small child will mean us leaving at the start of the reception.

WouldBeGood · 08/11/2021 09:05

Lots of hairdressers and beauticians are closed on a Monday too, for guests who like to get that stuff done

yikesanotherbooboo · 08/11/2021 09:23

I agree with those that say choose a cheaper venue.
I don't really think it is alright to expect family and friends to take annual leave to attend a wedding.I seem to be out of step on this but I think that the hosts should be considering the guests convenience and not expecting them to spend a lot of money , organise complicated childcare or be stuck in a position to spend expensive nights away from home or time off work. Everyone will enjoy the wedding just as much, you will be just as married and have the ceremony witnessed by all your important people with a modest and affordable celebration.

Mummakinz · 08/11/2021 14:03

I think it’s your wedding, do it how you see fit. If people can’t make it then they can’t make it, but maybe they can make the evening do. Never waste money on a huge wedding, it’s pointless. Marriage is about committing to each other, not starting married life in debt then arguing over it. ( trust me I’ve seen it first hand ) it gets ugly. Anyway if people have a few months heads up I can’t see how they can’t make it. Unless they have a holiday booked.

Congratulations and I hope you have an amazing day 🎉

CornishGem1975 · 08/11/2021 14:50

I only take a weekday off for weddings if it's a super close friend or family and then, it wouldn't be a late night as I'd have work the next day (unless it was a Friday, but they generally cost the same as Saturdays now!).

Personally, I wouldn't choose a Monday. A Thursday at a push. Just do something cheaper - on a Friday or a weekend.

Longbarn5 · 18/11/2021 20:53

My son is getting married on a Monday. Literally half the cost of a Saturday. His fiances parents are a hit concerned about the evening buffet being at 9 and people leaving early but they do feel that two days off is not a lot to ask family and close friends. It is in August so fine for teacher guests and some are travelling a long way so may stay around for a few days anyway. Personally I dont mind and the cost saving is huge. An advantage, if I was looking for one, would be not having to give up a weekend

Kite22 · 19/11/2021 22:58

As a teacher, I'd be really disappointed to open a wedding invitation and find it was on a Monday. I love a nice wedding. You have already said that your list would include some teachers.

If you were just having a wedding for 12 - 15 people and knew they were all able to book time off on a Monday, then it would be fine, but I'm guessing, if you are talking about booking venues and saving that much, you are talking about far larger numbers.
As most have said, I don't think an evening 'do' would go with a swing with people having to travel home / people limiting their drink / people watching the clock.

nancybotwinbloom · 19/11/2021 23:06

As a florist, you'd flowers will be Amazing

catnip1990 · 26/12/2022 23:04

We had a Monday wedding last December. I'm a teacher, as are a lot of my friends and family, as well as a lot of family being retired . We sent our save the dates about a year in advance and everyone who we hoped would come did :).

I think if you're able to put it in school holidays this may help.

I would do a weekday wedding again as we saved thousands, and several of my colleagues have also gone on to have weekday weddings.

UsingChangeofName · 27/12/2022 00:29

As this thread is over 13 months old, I suspect the OP will have decided by now..........

FelicityFlops · 28/12/2022 02:11

I have been to a wedding on a Wednesday, which was fine because I happened to be on holiday at the time. No issues with catering as the reception was held in a marquee at the bride's parents farm (bit smelly, though).
I have also been to a Thursday wedding, which was a pain in the neck as it involved a flight after work on the Wednesday plus taking 2 days off. However it was mandatory as I am the bride's aunt and godmother. Her younger sister is repeating the Thursday wedding next year at a different place. Still a pain, though.
It was a relief that their brother got married on a Saturday!
I wouldn't mind a Monday wedding as you don't get the gap day.
Being traditional, I prefer a late morning, Saturday church wedding, followed by a decent lunch, spot of socialising and then leave early evening, but understand that most young people don't go for this any more as there HAS to be a big party.

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