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Original poster

Monday wedding

70 replies

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 08:18

We've finally decided to start wedding planning!

The question: is a Monday wedding awful?
It's about £5000 different, just for the venue.
I was thinking about a Sunday as a compromise but assume a church won't marry us on a Sunday - I haven't actually looked into that yet.

His parents are retired, mine work Monday-Friday but I'm sure they could book the day off.

A lot of our friends and family work shifts anyway so it could inconvenience them just as much if it was planned for a weekend, but I don't want to look like a massive knob.

What do you think?

OP posts:

Original poster

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 09:32

@Chippymunks

Have you looked at cheaper venues?

We're in the very early stages so there's still a lot to look into. The first few I've looked at are all similar prices but I guess I've looked at a specific style of venue so far.

I'll definitely try and look at some cheaper venues too - we might find we love something we haven't even considered yet t

OP posts:

DentalWorries · 06/11/2021 09:32

I work in the wedding industry and weekday weddings are now a lot more common. However, a Monday is definitely more unusual (a lot of venue staff have Mondays off after a weekend of weddings) and I’d prepare yourself for lots of people not attending and those that do leaving early so you won’t be partying until past midnight.
Personally, I’d look for a more affordable venue and having a Thursday or Friday wedding.

Fenelladepompom · 06/11/2021 09:32

If you want a big wedding I think Monday is a mistake.

ParmigianoReggiano · 06/11/2021 09:34

I think it's a good thing generally if weddings are becoming cheaper and less lavish, and having a weekday wedding is part of that trend. It's not just the cost of the venue to the bride and groom, but also because all the guests are less likely to spend a lot on their outfit, drink loads, dance into the wee hours etc on a Monday night. So the whole thing becomes a bit more muted, which is a theoretically a positive thing in that I feel weddings were becoming too expensive and OTT.

Having said all of that, I agree that I would open the invite and feel a bit disappointed.

TeenMinusTests · 06/11/2021 09:34

I think weekday weddings generally effectively put increased costs onto the guests as they lose 1 or 2 days pay (or annual leave).

However, if your guests are mainly retired or shift workers then that matters less.

Just don't be grumpy with people who don't come because of work or school.

Original poster

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 09:36

@Fenelladepompom

If you want a big wedding I think Monday is a mistake.

I'm definitely going for a Monday then

I want a lovely wedding but not a massive one in terms of being extravagant.

We have a lot of family to accommodate so catering will be expensive as I think most of them will move heaven and earth to attend.

I'm hoping for a calm and relaxed day.

OP posts:

Original poster

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 09:37

@DentalWorries thanks for your insight - that's a great help

OP posts:

SlipperTripper · 06/11/2021 10:16

I'd err towards a Thursday rather than a Monday. I'd imagine lots of people will take the two days off (especially if travelling) and I'd rather have Friday off to myself, with the weekend ahead of me, than a Tuesday, with work looming!

Toddlerteaplease · 06/11/2021 10:18

My sister is getting married on a Tuesday. There had been no complaints.

TidyDancer · 06/11/2021 11:22

I would still try to go if I was close to the couple and they chose this, but honestly it would be disappointing. I appreciate the reasons why people may book a Monday but personally I couldn't think of a worse day to go for.

Chippymunks · 06/11/2021 11:23

TidyDancer I think Tuesday is as bad or slightly worse. It’s a bit like having a world Christmas do on a Monday and you’re like, on a Monday, why?

mamaduckbone · 06/11/2021 12:47

Do you have any friends or family who are teachers? Or who work in another profession where holidays are inflexible? If so, you will have to accept that they won't be able to make it.
I get that financially it makes sense, but bear in mind that lots of people will take the Monday off work but will be thinking about getting to work on Tuesday - my nephew got married on a Sunday and lots of guests left early for that reason. It depends what kind of wedding you want and if you're happy for it to be a fairly tame affair, or if you want a big party!

Kerzehmet · 06/11/2021 13:02

Wouldn't bother me. DH is emergency services worker so the likelihood of him being off and able to attend a weekend wedding is only 2:5 anyway and if he was down to work he probably wouldn't get the leave. I'd happily take the leave from work to attend on a Monday. And as a guest I'd be quite pleased not to take the kids so win win. So a Monday wedding would be fine for us, as long as it was reasonably local.

But as you say, any teachers may struggle.

Crazycrazylady · 06/11/2021 14:54

I think it is awful to be honest .
You'll have way more refusals but maybe you're ok with that.

Unsureschool · 06/11/2021 15:02

The best weddings are when faff for the guests is kept minimal. Pick a theme, find a quirky hall, decorate it to the nines, provide plentiful food and drink and great music. Make it easy for guests to stay nearby or travel home. Splash out on a fancy photographer who can give you great photos. And do all this on a Saturday.

cruffin · 06/11/2021 16:22

Monday is an awful day for a wedding. Nobody will book the Tuesday off work.

junebirthdaygirl · 06/11/2021 17:26

Do venues not have to close early on weekdays now with Covid. In lreland l think the ending is 11.30 so wouldn't really be too bad. But l would hate a Monday. Would spend all Saturday and Sunday hanging around waiting for Monday and then back to work Tuesday. Would be a bit of an anticlimax l think.

catnip1990 · 07/11/2021 08:07

Hi,
We are having a Monday wedding. I think it really depends on your guests and their situations and when the Monday is.

The bulk of our guests are retired or in education, and we've booked for a school holiday Monday; the first of the Christmas holidays when people are starting to book off time as well we've only had around 4 people out of 100 not be able to come.
£5000 is a huge saving. At the end of the day, so what works best for you; it is your day.

Satlie2019 · 07/11/2021 08:30

Hi I haven't read all the replies, so may be repeating. I loved wedding planning when I got married, but hated the stress of the cost, so can see why you are thinking about a Monday wedding and think it is sensible in many ways. I was seriously considering a Sunday wedding, but my DH was not keen as he wanted people to have big party and was worried they would leave early on a Sunday. In the end we got a half price venue hire deal at our ideal venue because we booked a date with only 5 months notice (which was actually the date we wanted anyway). So there may be or her ways to get a discount it you are worried about a Monday.

However, if you are not too concerned about having a late night and some people not being able to come I think a Monday is fine. You obviously won't be able to be upset with people who can't make it and personally I would make sure you give plenty of notice to people so they can book their leave.

I might consider a Sunday wedding or possibly a Friday wedding over a Monday, but that is personal preference. I have been to quite a few Sunday weddings, although none in a church. You could check with the church if they would do a Sunday, as I know a lot of churches do private christenings on Sunday afternoons so they may do weddings too.

If you do go with a Monday you could make it an early event if you wanted, so people can leave at a reasonable time to travel back if they
need to. You could also look to book it during the school holidays to make it easier for teachers and school children, if that is a consideration for you with your guest list.

Bottom line, it is your wedding, weddings are very expensive, you need to do what works for you and your partner (whilst still being considerate of your guests but it sounds like you are doing this).

Enjoy your day!

Roselilly36 · 07/11/2021 08:34

If the financial saving is worth it to you then go for it, just be prepared for a lot of your invited guest to decline the invite. Sounds like you are prepared for this. And Congratulations OP

wonderstuff · 07/11/2021 08:44

I’m a teacher, I’d not be able to attend and I’d be disappointed, we absolutely can’t take time off during term time. But if you’re okay with people not making it then that’s fine. Would you be better having a really small affair, keeping it just to very close friends and family and making sure they can attend before booking a week day. My experience of weddings is the smaller they are the fewer people to get upset.

rainbowandglitter · 07/11/2021 08:55

I'd probably try and make a Monday wedding but I'd have to book a day off work and sort someone to do the school runs etc for me. I wouldn't be able to stay late as I'd have work the next day and the best bit of a wedding for me is the socialising at the end (having a drink /dance and chat with everyone) so if that bit wasn't happening I'd be more reluctant to come.

inflatableseahorses · 07/11/2021 09:08

If you can't afford your dream wedding, then you have to make compromises and your's seems to be to get married on a Monday. I have to say that I would chose to invite fewer people or have a different venue than go for a Monday as it's just about the least sociable day of the week - as reflected in the price.
If it was within an hour or so's drive, I could get a random day's leave, could drop the kids at school before setting off and be home by when the nanny finishes at 6.30^^ and I liked you enough to make the effort, I'd come. I couldn't be later than that as the logistics of lift shares for the activities the DC do that evening are too complex! I wouldn't be able to drink and, from about 3pm, would be constantly clock watching and checking travel reports!
Anything other than that, and I probably wouldn't. I would roll my eyes at the invitation as I would think that you knew me well enough to know I couldn't make it so it is essentially more of a signpost that you're getting married and want a gift. I obviously wouldn't tell you that but would decline graciously and get you something off the gift list.

Coffeecakee · 08/11/2021 08:24

We're having a Monday wedding. Only having 12 guests and except for my mum who always takes that week off work, they all work shifts or are retired so can make it work. Whilst it was cheaper, a Monday made sense for us as we'll be working until the Friday before so means we've got the weekend to get organised. We're also taking everyone to an exclusive use venue for a few days so it's easier to do that on a Sunday afternoon than going on a Friday night after work for a Saturday wedding. Had we wanted a bigger wedding, our plans would probably have been different. The good thing about a Monday is that we've also had our pick of suppliers, even with all the Covid postponements, so that's been a bonus for us.

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/11/2021 08:26

Its fine as long as you are fine with lots of people not attending because they don't want to use up their annual leave.

I'd probably check with very close family that they were ok to attend.

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