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Original poster

Monday wedding

70 replies

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 08:18

We've finally decided to start wedding planning!

The question: is a Monday wedding awful?
It's about £5000 different, just for the venue.
I was thinking about a Sunday as a compromise but assume a church won't marry us on a Sunday - I haven't actually looked into that yet.

His parents are retired, mine work Monday-Friday but I'm sure they could book the day off.

A lot of our friends and family work shifts anyway so it could inconvenience them just as much if it was planned for a weekend, but I don't want to look like a massive knob.

What do you think?

OP posts:

SkeletonSkins · 06/11/2021 08:23

I think weekday weddings are becoming more and more common and it’s totally fine as long as you think about anyone who won’t be able to book it off. People will come on here and say ‘oh if people want to be there they will’ but some people literally cannot take weekdays off in term time. When I was a teacher this would have been a no. I know occasionally someone has a friend who’s a teacher who could take time off but often this isn’t the case and to be honest I wouldn’t even have asked unless it was my sister or something. So yeah consider if you’ve got anyone who works in schools who you really want there.

My only other worry would be whether people might go home a bit earlier, as I wouldn’t take tbe Tuesday off if I was invited, again unless very best friend or something, so probably wouldn’t stay super later.

Moonshine11 · 06/11/2021 08:40

A Monday wedding wouldn't put me off but would need good notice to book two days off.
Just have to be prepared for people to say no due to not being able to get off work

burnoutbabe · 06/11/2021 08:43

I'd imagine a Monday wedding as a city type ceremony 11 Orr 12, then a nice fancy lunch then all end by 6pm. I'd probably attend that if could be done with our just Monday off (maybe travel Sunday night)

I can't imagine a big evening party on a Monday.

alwayswrighty · 06/11/2021 08:45

I had a Monday wedding a few years ago, but we got married the latest we could in the afternoon with only our retired parents and shift worker bil and sil. Then sat down for a meal with them at our reception before having people in the evening for a drink and cake. It was a really chill day.

Chippymunks · 06/11/2021 08:45

It’s fine if you don’t mind if people can’t come and you are ok if the evening do ends early and people don’t really get into it.

Haus1234 · 06/11/2021 08:45

I’d come to your Monday wedding but I wouldn’t stay out late partying in the evening as I wouldn’t want to book 2 days of annual leave, so depends what you’re envisioning! Also any school age kids or teachers will be a no of course.

Normandy144 · 06/11/2021 08:49

Depends on what kind of atmosphere you're going for. If you're hoping for a lot of dancing and drinking until late then most people will have to factor in that they have work on Tuesday. So they then will either have to take Tuesday off as well or they'll decide not to make too big a night of it and leave early as they have work the next day. A Sunday would therefore be better. If you're set on a church wedding though that's not going to be easy. I went to a Sunday wedding once and they had a blessing Inna separate part of the building which was an old church which happened after the registry service.

gogohm · 06/11/2021 08:56

Churches do Marry on Sundays, typically at 1 or 2pm. I doubt they will be able to on a Monday as it's often the vicars day off and the buildings may be used for regular activities

Bananarama21 · 06/11/2021 08:58

What about a Friday wedding then people have the Saturday to relax

Original poster

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 09:00

Thanks everyone.
We'd have two teacher invitees and a few school-aged children and it would be term time so I appreciate that the teachers probably wouldn't come.
I'm not a huge party person anyway so I wouldn't be upset about people making an early dart and there are some really lovely venues close enough to home for people to stop in for a couple of drinks or just to show their faces after work too if they wanted to do so.

I guess the only people I'm worried about are the guests who need to travel as they'd almost certainly need the two days off but if we had an earlier ceremony they could leave whenever they needed or wanted to.

OP posts:

Original poster

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 09:00

@gogohm

Churches do Marry on Sundays, typically at 1 or 2pm. I doubt they will be able to on a Monday as it's often the vicars day off and the buildings may be used for regular activities

Oh that's interesting, thank you!

OP posts:

Chippymunks · 06/11/2021 09:04

For me a Monday wedding is a lot worse than a Saturday invite, I’d open the invite all excited and read it and think oh that’s a shame, I love a weekend wedding, they must have done it to save money.

Disfordarkchocolate · 06/11/2021 09:07

Give people plenty of notice.

Don't get upset if people don't come because they don't want to use leave for a wedding.

If it's miles from where most of you live lots of people will not come because it means two days off work.

Otherwise, congratulations and have a lovely day.

Original poster

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 09:07

@Bananarama21

What about a Friday wedding then people have the Saturday to relax

I have considered this. It's about £3000 more than a Monday-Thursday wedding and £2000 less than a Saturday but I think most people who would be tentative because of distance would travel on the day before anyway and the teachers would have the same issue

OP posts:

Original poster

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 09:09

@Chippymunks

I'm with you on this to be honest - I like a weekend wedding - but I think if anyone was bothered enough to not attend just because they thought we were being cheap I wouldn't want them there anyway

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Chippymunks · 06/11/2021 09:16

I’d still attend if I physically could but I would be disappointed.

bizboz · 06/11/2021 09:17

It's fine so long as you don't mind if guests cannot come due to work commitments. Also it will probably have a different atmosphere if people have to work the next day.

You know your guests and their working patterns best. If you have a lot of guests who work in, eg, retail they might prefer a Monday. I went to a Monday wedding in the summer but the couple getting married were teachers, their family and most of the friends were teachers so were all on holiday, therefore it worked well and was much like a weekend wedding. The teachers and those with school-aged children almost certainly won't come to a Monday wedding in term-time.

CraftyGin · 06/11/2021 09:19

My DS got married on a Monday, purely because it was less than half the cost of a Friday/Saturday wedding.

The cost of weddings is ridiculous nowadays, so saving what you can is important.

Ruibies · 06/11/2021 09:22

Sorry but I would hate a monday wedding invitation. I went to a Sunday wedding this year and it really did me in for the week - I didn't take Monday off and had two drinks the whole day, but weddings are long and exciting and tiring - and working on the Monday was pants. I would be even more annoyed at taking a Monday off and then having to get through 4 days of work.
Friday or Thursday is better, at least you're not far off the weekend even if you have to take a day of leave. I did a Thursday wedding in summer, also stayed off booze the whole day, and left at 9pm to get back by midnight. Friday was bearable because I knew it was the end of the week. If I got a Monday invite I'm afraid I'd probably decline now unless it was a close family member. But £5k is a massive saving so would totally understand why you'd go for it!

Holidaytan · 06/11/2021 09:22

If you’re having a week day wedding it’s a waste of money doing it in a hotel, if this is what you’re planning.
They are geared up for big events and if not many people come, or leave early, it looks so sad.
Book a church for late afternoon and then a private dining area in a nice restaurant for a few hours.
You’re not spending on a ‘package’ then.

HelloDulling · 06/11/2021 09:22

People who live far enough away that they have to arrive the day before are either going to leave by 5pm on your wedding day and will be looking at watches all afternoon, or will have to miss two days of work.

Original poster

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 09:25

@Chippymunks

I’d still attend if I physically could but I would be disappointed.

That's fair and it's good to have a different perspective - thank you

OP posts:

Original poster

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 09:27

@HelloDulling

They will - and that's something we're definitely trying to work around but as I say lots of guests work shifts too so we'll be inconveniencing someone whatever we do.

Although there is huge expense in travelling and accommodation so I'm very conscious of that.

OP posts:

Chippymunks · 06/11/2021 09:28

Have you looked at cheaper venues?

Original poster

girlmom21 · 06/11/2021 09:29

Thanks @Ruibies. I have thought about a Thursday too although I think people would rather have long weekends than have a random day off mid-week (if people are still working the day after the wedding) so that's my only reservation but it's a good thing to consider, especially as you've experienced it

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