Didn't lose the weight, now it's too late!

[noonetoblamebutmyselfandpizza]

There will probably be someone on here who will spot it's me! But I just need to say it all here in the hope that someone can make me feel a tiny bit better, after all I have no one else to blame but myself!

My wedding was meant to be last July. We've rebooked for August.
I bought my wedding dress last February. I loved it, but I lost about 6 kilos ish to get into it.

Then lockdown, stopped dieting, two young toddlers to look after, couldn't exercise because of hip pain ...I could go on! But ultimately, regardless of those things I've mentioned above I just ate.too.much.food! And for some reason I just couldn't get the motivation to get the weight off. Still can't.

I've since gained about 10kilos more than when I bought my dress so obviously it doesn't fit me. I've left it too late - due to my denial and "diet tomorrow" attitude and now I can only get a dress off the rack. Or I can get mine altered - going to see about that tomorrow.

I just feel so fucking stupid and disgusting! It's only now dawning on me how I've really let myself down :(

Can anyone make me feel better? I doubt it but it's worth a shot.

A wedding dress is one of the most flattering garments you can wear when you're overweight. You'll look your best because you'll put care into every last detail on the day and it won't matter at all that you're heavier than you'd like. Come the day, you won't even care because you'll be focusing on enjoying yourself and having all your friends and family around you, and of course, your new DH.

I was a couple of stone above my ideal weight on my wedding day and I look great in the photos, if I say so myself.

You are not disgusting. Your partner proposed to you, is marrying you, not an arbitrary dress size that you were intending to diet yourself into.
Our bodies change shape through the course of the day, over the month, and that alone should illustrate that our body shape doesn't define our worth.

Focus on enjoying your wedding day because it goes by in a flash.

@Arbadacarba I bet you looked amazing!

Did you have to get your dress altered?
I just feel like I won't look good in it when it's altered (if they can)

@Palavah I wish I thought like this. All I can think is how I'll look back at the photos and think how I let myself down.

It's also the fact that I've not seen many people due to lockdowns etc and the last time they saw me I was much smaller. So all I can think about is how they'll be thinking "woah! She gained a few!" When I'm walking down the isle! Ah ffs.
Even going on a diet now won't save me. I'm so bloody stupid!

No, I bought it quite late in proceedings because I was in the process of losing weight and didn't (wisely as it turned out!) want to be too optimistic. It was a long dress, with long sleeves so it hid my problem areas very well. I also shopped very carefully for the right underwear, so my oversized boobs were well-supported.

You will look amazing on the day, I absolutely promise you!

You'll remember the happy day when you look at the photos. I've been married 15 years and what primarily strikes me now is how young I look in the pictures (I was in my early 30s). I don't notice my weight at all.

@Arbadacarba you were so wise!

Thank you for your kind words x

You've got two months -- you could lose 2 stone if you did a really no-nonsense diet like this one. (I lost 4 stone in 4 months doing it.)

@Arbadacarba I'm early 30's too. I probably would've been fine had i not purchased the dress already! I think it just makes me feel worse.

@ThatOtherPoster The problem is the alterations? I don't think I could get them done if I left it so late??

I did ask what's the latest that I could do alterations and they said ..."like, now" 😅

Hopefully it can be altered but in the worst case scenario, you can choose something else and sell the first one - with so many postponed weddings happening, I can't think of a better time to sell an unworn wedding dress if it turns out you have to.

@Arbadacarba That's what I was thinking, but I had to try some dresses on off the rack today and I didn't like any of them, and they were all too small which didn't help.

Maybe I should keep trying

@noonetoblamebutmyselfandpizza no one and I mean no one is thinking about what you weigh as you’re walking down the aisle. You won’t be either! It’s one of those things where the people who matter don’t mind and the people that mind don’t matter. Everyone at your wedding day loves you, the person.

In any case you will be glowing with happiness, I always think all brides just look so shiny and happy on their big day. xx

Can they insert a lace up panel in the back?

Hi op

I ordered my dress in the next size down and said i would lose the weight within a year. Guess what I didn't even lose 1 pound and when I picked my dress up I couldn't get it over my bum. Thank goodness the whole thing was altered but on the day It didn't even cross my mind. With my hair done, nails, tan and a lovely dress I felt beautiful. Honestly don't beat yourself up about it. You would be surprised how dresses can be altered.

Don't give up now!

No more excuses.

You have a month and however many weeks until the date in August! You can totally lose some weight if that's what you want to do.

They'll be loads of dresses available.

Oh bless you! Xx

I felt the same, put on half a stone just before my wedding but I still love the photos and felt gorgeous on the day.

If you really try i.e. do the Cambridge diet or Atkins and exercise, you could lose a fair few kilos in 4-5 weeks. Worth a last shot attempt whilst also getting your dress altered?

Firstly, what is the dress like? Some dresses are more forgiving than others. The dress I tried on (and ended up buying) was several sizes too small and I could have bought that size and done some alterations. Wedding dresses have so much fluff that it’s sometimes hard to tell where the dress ends and the woman begins.

Secondly, you haven’t let yourself down. Nobody was planning on a pandemic. A lot of people have put on weight. I met up with friends at the weekend and most of us said how worried we were about going back out and seeing everyone because everyone would realise how much weight we’d put on. I think we were all too focussed on our own insecurities to pay too much attention to anyone else. Some of your guests are going to be worrying about the same thing, how they look presentable at your wedding and worried about everyone thinking how much they’ve put on. I’m currently pregnant and have a family wedding 5 days before my due date, I’m dreading it because I’m fat and going to be even fatter because I’m pregnant and how everyone will look at me.

Finally, it really won’t matter on the day. I was really overweight for my wedding day (lost weight after and have since put it all back on). I have still never felt as beautiful as I did on my wedding day, despite being so overweight. DH’s reaction helped but even before I saw DH I just felt beautiful. We have a photo on the mantle and I’ve never felt awkward or ashamed about that photo. I love it. I loved it when I lost the weight. I’m not going to lie, there is the odd photo where I look hideous but there are also a lot of photos where I don’t look hideous. There are a lot of photos where I look happy and in love and that’s all you need from a wedding photo. Some of the hideous photos DH loves. I have a photo which DH hates and is one of my favourite photos, he hates it because he’s mid-laugh and you can see all his teeth but that’s exactly the reason I love it. He just looks so happy and he’s that happy because I made him that happy.

Don’t spend the month before your wedding obsessing about weight.

You will 100% look gorgeous on the day.

Try Wed2Be for off the peg dresses in a range of sizes so you can actually try your size rather than trying to visualise what something would look like if it only fit. Got my dress from there and so did my sister and 3 close friends. We range from a 6 to a 14 and an a cup to a h between us. Every one of us looked glorious in our dresses.

And congratulations.

You'd lose nothing (except, hopefully, kilos!) by following a healthy eating plan before the day, but don't make it the be-all and end-all - look on anything you can lose as a bonus, rather than having a target that you absolutely must hit.

Remember as well that photographers are expert at avoiding unflattering shots - your photographer will want you to have beautiful pictures, their livelihood depends on it, so they will make sure they capture you at your absolute best.

Yes as pp said try wed2b , they have a really good selection of dresses and sizes and lots of stores if they don't have your size.

Hi everyone,

Thank you for all your advice and kind words! I really needed them, and I felt better after reading.

I saw the seamstress today and she said that if I don't want a corset back (which I don't) or the panels cut out and extended, that I have a month to lose 2-3 inches off my middle!

This has been the boost I needed and I'm going to do it guys! I thought I'd have to get a new dress or get the alterations done sooner but if I have more time I'm gonna take it.

I really do love the dress. It's actually appeared on here once or twice so it's very popular!

3 inches in a month is more than achievable! Build some tummy-toning exercises into your routine to boost the inch loss. It sounds like you've got exactly the right mindset now to get to where you want.

Really pleased the seamstress had such good news for you!