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Original poster

Wedding no-shows?

67 replies

TisConfusion · 19/01/2019 09:53

So I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone, basically where people say they will come to the wedding but then not show up on the day?

I'm getting married in a few months and this kind of thing worries me (which is stupid really as theres nothing that can be done about it!) but I was just wondering how common it was?

I know if people were ill or there was an emergency they wouldn't go (and that would be awful for them so I wouldn't want that) but if it was because they just didn't feel like it on the day, I would be upset.

OP posts:

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 22/01/2019 13:03

We didn't at ours, but my DSis did at hers. Completely legitimate reason though and it wasn't an issue at all. It was a close family friends family. My DM actually visited them the following day and took some wedding cake.

cheesenpickles · 22/01/2019 13:10

We had four no-shows on the day but tbh I couldn't have cared less.

Inniu · 22/01/2019 13:12

I missed one on the day once. My father had a heart attack and wasn’t expected to recover. I phoned a good friend of the bride rather than the bride as I figured she would be otherwise occupied that morning.

ImNotHeartlessHonest · 22/01/2019 16:02

I was in the fortunate position of being very experienced in events planning when I planned for my own wedding.

What I always say to our staff at work, and to my husband in the run up is, "The ones who don't show aren't your problem in the week before the wedding. It's the ones who do you have to 'worry' about."

(worry as in take care of!)

As it was, our best man was one of the no shows. Now THAT is something to worry about!

(He had a history of MH issues as well as a history of selfish, destructive behaviour - hard to detangle the two. Myself and MIL did advise my husband to make him co-best man with another friend to take the pressure off, but husband is the stubborn and loyal type. As it was, the other friend stepped in and was an absolute star.)

Honeyroar · 24/01/2019 17:08

My brother and his family didn’t turn up to the ceremony and rang during the photos to say he’d broken down (lived 10 mins away, could have got a cab). When I was a bit short with him he didn’t come to the meal or anything. We only had 25 day guests so we were 5 down! We asked three of my mum and dad’s friends and they came. Tbh the day was nicer without them, they always cause a huge drama and ruin everything. I don’t really see them nowadays. They never sent a card or anything. At the evening reception we had a couple of no shows, but also a few came that weren’t invited, so it evened out!

catmumof1 · 29/01/2019 17:02

We have a list of (not easily offended) back up day guests because we have a high risk drop-out family of 5 (including a groomsman). I just hope they let us know they aren't coming rather than just not showing up.

Greensleeves · 29/01/2019 17:05

"back-up day guests"

BowBeau · 29/01/2019 17:10

Happened to me. No excuse given. Had RSVPd yes and I’d paid for their meals and drinks but they just didn’t show. It made me so angry because I could have invited someone else in their place if they’d had the decency to let me know. I no longer class them as friends because of that selfish little stunt.

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 29/01/2019 17:16

We had a couple of late cancellations from family but I had some very understanding friends who knew we had been trying to reduce numbers so weren’t offended by not being on the original invite list and they took their place. We also had one person who couldn’t come on the day.

HopeGarden · 29/01/2019 17:20

We had 7 people drop out at the last minute, but they all let us know as soon as they could, they all had reasonable excuses (2 of them were in hospital), and they all sent us wedding cards and presents afterwards.

meow1989 · 29/01/2019 17:22

My BILs (ex ) girlfriend decided the night before that she wasn't coming for an unknown reason. I was glad, she was a nightmare and if she'd have changed her mind she would not have been welcome.

I remember being nervous about wether people would show but I don't think we had a single no show (save for the above plus one half of a couple who had split the week before).

I've inadvertently been the no show. A good friend was getting married and we would text a lot about the count down and excitement. But I never got an invite and the timings or venue were never revealed to me (I didn't ask as if I were not invited didn't want to be a cf). I actually ended up working the day of the wedding. Sent a congratulations and got a short "thanks. Why weren't you there?" Text back, I did explain I hadn't been invited but there ended that friendship (no big fall out just no contact after). Ah well.

onemouseplace · 29/01/2019 17:23

We had 4 on the day as well - DH's flaky friends were 2 of them who had confirmed they were coming to him, but not RSVPd officially. Another one of his friends who was genuinely ill, and ordered a bottle of champagne to our room as an apology. And one of my law school friends who had some kind of family emergency.

yellowishgiraffe · 29/01/2019 17:25

We had a family of five call a few days before the wedding and say they could no longer make it. I guess it's a good thing that they gave us notice and didn't just not show up.

However, it was too late to change the catering arrangements, their meals still had to be paid for. And the excuse they gave was to do with the fathers work, which really didn't explain why his adult children in their 30s, or wife couldn't attend without him.

It just really cheesed me off because it left their table half empty and I had to re adjust the seating plan, which was an extra faff I really could have done without.

Also, they never apologised to me. They called my mom when they are actually cousins on my dads side, so were obviously to cowardly to talk to him or me directly!

DianaBlythe · 29/01/2019 17:31

I had one couple turn up the day before by mistake and then they couldn’t make it on the date. And one friend from work who had a horrible breakup and just couldn’t face it. And my grandma had a stroke but my grandpa still came. So not too bad!

I was more surprised by the number of glasses which we had on sale or return that disappeared! Presume they must have broken or something. I don’t think my friends and family would have been lifting them!

Chocolate85 · 29/01/2019 17:36

I had 150 guests and 2 didn’t turn up, a very old, ill aunt and her son who had to look after her.
In my culture big weddings are common so out of 350/400 guests there are always at least ten who don’t turn up. Don’t worry, you really won’t care on the day.

DismantleMe · 29/01/2019 17:41

We had a 3.
One couple had a bereavement and let us know the evening before.
The other was a friend who had a new boyfriend (of approx 3 weeks!) and was disgruntled he wasn't invited despite neither me or my husband having met him, and all our catering etc paid off and numbers confirmed. She text me half an hour after the start of our wedding to say she was ill...and less than an hour later "checked in" to a local attraction on facebook with her boyfriend. I never bothered to respond to the text and we have never spoken since. They broke up a week later!

gigi556 · 29/01/2019 17:58

A few people didn't turn up to my sisters wedding. The wedding coordinator said its usual to have a few drop outs.

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