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Original poster

Wedding no-shows?

67 replies

TisConfusion · 19/01/2019 09:53

So I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone, basically where people say they will come to the wedding but then not show up on the day?

I'm getting married in a few months and this kind of thing worries me (which is stupid really as theres nothing that can be done about it!) but I was just wondering how common it was?

I know if people were ill or there was an emergency they wouldn't go (and that would be awful for them so I wouldn't want that) but if it was because they just didn't feel like it on the day, I would be upset.

OP posts:
Madeline88 · 19/01/2019 13:21

@tisconfusion as far as I know, the sibling never apologised and the bride didn’t bring it up. They just didn’t speak for months then starting seeing each other at family events again. The whole thing was very very odd, the rest of the family thought they were coming so there was a whole empty row of seats right up the front of the ceremony.

Cliveybaby · 19/01/2019 20:40

we had two people who were ill.
One my cousin which was a "real" reason, but nobody actually told me so I'm annoyed about that.
The other was the partner of a friend who was ill, but he let us know the day before so we invited somebody else who was just going to come for a drink to stay.
Fortunately the night before the wedding DP went to meet his friends in town, and one who he wasn't expecting had shown up! He had verbally RSVPd and DP forgot!
..so it all worked out!

Cliveybaby · 19/01/2019 20:40

so 2 out of 121 isn't bad :)

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 19/01/2019 20:44

Maybe the lesson to take from this is to have a couple of ‘reserves’ in mind in case you have an unexpected vacancy!

NorthernRunner · 19/01/2019 20:48

We had a family of three not show up, and didn’t text to say anything afterwards either, and to make it more annoying, they were vegans so we ordered food for them especially. Whatever it didn’t affect the day Smile

WallisFrizz · 19/01/2019 20:48

We had two distant relatives fail to show. From memory a flimsy excuse was passed on to us 3rd hand on the day. It didn’t bother me, they were only invited for family diplomacy reasons. I wish they had just declined the invite in the first place though rather than making us pay for them.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 19/01/2019 20:51

One poor soul who was going to be flying down from Scotland but had flu. He lost his money on his flights as well. We managed to bump up an evening guest.

One evening guest didn’t show. I didn’t notice until after the honeymoon. She came on the hen night the previous week. I never heard from her again. No idea why. Confused

Watto1 · 19/01/2019 20:52

We had 4 no shows. My best friend's husband was hospitalised with appendicitis the night before, so it was totally reasonable that they couldn't make it. DH's cousin and his wife just didn't show up. Not reasonable. DH hasn't spoken to them since.

Easterbuns1 · 19/01/2019 20:52

I've been a guest at reasonably smallish wedding (about 50 day guests maybe then more at night) where 2 of the grooms best friends went to the church service in full hired wedding outfits and in the photos etc only to vanish and not appear for the meal or reception. They went to a gig!

Isadora2007 · 19/01/2019 20:56

6 people didn't turn up to the day, so thay equates to almost a whole table of guests and about £600 wasted!

What? £100 per head? Surely that’s not a realistic cost for any wedding????

MuddledUpAgain · 19/01/2019 20:58

We had one. She's a doctor and her day of leave that she had booked was cancelled. I managed to contact a friend who was coming for the evening and he hightailed his way down the motorway and made it just in time for the meal!

Bishalisha · 19/01/2019 21:02

We had a few no shows for the day and about 3/4 of the evening guests didn’t come. It wasn’t a remotely inconvenient wedding either with free bar and food and local. Wasted about £700 of buffet food for the evening

cashmerecardigans · 19/01/2019 21:11

We had a family of 5, where the mother of the dad had a heart attack the day before. Not a huge issue as we had a chilled wedding with no seating plan, so people just had a bit more space. DH sister and her family didn't come and didn't tell us, she has MH issues and struggles with getting out but I was really upset that she hadn't actually felt able to let us know. I only realised she wasn't there at the photos after the church. Again, relaxed seating made the whole,situation miles easier x

Original poster
TisConfusion · 19/01/2019 21:40

Isadora - our wedding is actually slightly over £100 per head. That's for post ceremony drinks/canapes, 3 course meal with drinks and evening buffet - it is still a shit load of money though I agree!

OP posts:
Festivefiona · 19/01/2019 21:42

I had a wedding for 50, 3 no shows, no excuses given and problems over one of them refusing to come still rumbling on 20 years later Grin

Heyha · 19/01/2019 21:48

I've never missed a ceremony I've been invited to but I did miss an evening do once as I didn't check how far away it was when I said yes and it turned out to be more than a 90 minute drive. I felt guilty as I know they may have had too much buffet if several people did the same, but apologised profusely and still gave the gift as I'd bought that before realising as well.

IPromiseIWontBeNaughty · 19/01/2019 21:51

We had a couple of no shows at my wedding - a friend & her dh who had gone into labour & I always knew that would be a possibility- I let her off!

Unfortunately I had to not go to a wedding as I’d started to miscarry - but we were all dressed & ready to go when the bleeding started. We still see them regularly & Met up afterwards to look at photos.

housewifeoflittleitaly · 19/01/2019 22:04

I had a full table of 10 not show up on the day. It was my mums sister, her husband their kids & grandkids. I was really annoyed about it & never recieved an explanation or aplology from any of them. We were out so much money completely wasted. 9 years later we no longer speak... asshole syndrome.

nomorearsingmermaids · 20/01/2019 17:55

What? £100 per head? Surely that’s not a realistic cost for any wedding????

That seems about standard to me (indeed on the lower side of standard). Ours is £89 per head and that was way cheaper than most other places. Includes drinks and canapes after the ceremony, four course wedding breakfast, tea and coffee for those who want it in the evening plus an evening buffet. We have 55 guests. And we had to pay £1300 for venue fees on top of that.

NorthernRunner · 20/01/2019 18:11

Yes £100 a head, ours was something like £112, which inc canapés, Prosecco when guests entered and for the toast, white and red wine on the table, and then tea and coffee after meal. We also had a buffet selection of deserts and evening charcuterie with warm breads and humus, so I didn’t think it was too bad. It was organised by a French lady, we had food and wine in abundance

NorthernRunner · 20/01/2019 18:12

This is why it really annoys me when people RSVP yes then don’t show, It’s so rude! X

cricketmum84 · 20/01/2019 18:26

DHs auntie didn't show. Didn't give us any notice at all! Just didn't turn up and his uncle told us at the night do that she couldn't get the day off work (they were both invited to full day).

I was fuming as we were on a very very tight budget to the point of me having a few friends only invited to night do as the day price per head was quite high. So fucked off that she wasted our money, wasted a place one of my friends could have had and couldn't even let us know beforehand!!

user1474894224 · 22/01/2019 06:43

We have about 30 kids coming....so it's only to be expected that at lease one or two will have some sort of bug. Lol. It just means more food for those who are there. Just crossing fingers it won't be my kids!!

FairyBunnyAgain · 22/01/2019 06:58

We had around 100 guests, one couple had an illness requiring hospitalisation but let me know far enough in advance that I could ask another couple. All 3 of my cousins ‘had’ to be invited but one disappeared before the meal, never had a good relationship with them and haven’t really seen them since apart from our granparent’s funeral.

My DSis has weird in laws and a fair few didn’t turn up, so between the service Andy reception whilst everyone was having drinks and photos I was running around trying to rearrange tables.

CaurnieBred · 22/01/2019 12:58

One family (2+2) the day before, but was due to a close family bereavement.

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