Name on invite error

[Helpmeplan]

I don't know if I'm being ridiculous or not but today I got a call from mil telling me that bil and his wife are cross with me because I worded their invite to 'Mr & Mrs X X' and sil has not changed to Mrs x x. I did not know this. When they married last year she changed her name on Facebook, and they have never mentioned not changing her name before, even when I was talking about whether or not I can be arsed to change mine or not.

I don't think I should apologise, given that I didn't know and can't read minds. Is that unreasonable of me?

[CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger]

They are considering not coming to the wedding over it?! What a pair of tossers. To be honest it sounds as though you’d be better off if they didn’t come.

[Aria2015]

I think it's a bit out to be upset. I got an invite in my maiden name and didn't bat an eye and I have changed my name. I knew who it was intended for and that's the important thing!

[Helpmeplan]

Yes, they really are considering not coming because of it. I have known bil over 24 years, and he has been with his wife 18 mths. She only moved down to live with him since January (work) so we haven't socialised much before then.

If I had known she kept her maiden name I genuinely would have written Mr x & Ms y.

PIL and I have known each other for knocking on 30 years (dp and I are childhood friends and went to school together), they are live and let live people, not ones to cause trouble, so I very much doubt they are shit stirring.

[Helpmeplan]

Saves us £150 though I suppose 🤣

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Your bil and sil are pathetic. Did they bother about you when you were ill?

[Helpmeplan]

Nothing from them when I was ill, not even a get well soon wish. Pil were excellent, really looked after me well (no local family anymore)

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Now there’s a surprise! Their behaviour sounds so much like my brother and sil. They’d react exactly how yours have to you. My brother has been violent and they are both verbally abusive. I’m done now with appeasing them and am nc. But before I reached this point, they would create massive fall outs at the most ridiculous things. They even bitched to my mother about my not sending their child 2 separate birthday cards (one from us and one from dd), which they decided to do for dds birthday a few months later because their child had learnt to write. The Christmas before that, dd had received no card or wrapping on the present and no card. I did not complain about that or anything else.

[Helpmeplan]

Bil was absolutely fine until his wife moved down, I'm not blaming her but he is definitely different. Dp said tonight that the atmosphere is better without them there and that maybe it's best they don't come. I feel a bit sad that I can see the route it's taking.

[ElfrideSwancourt]

Op- they're massively overreacting on this- although I have been married for nearly 25 years I didn't change my name (yes I'm a feminist) but when a recent wedding invitation arrived addressed to Mr and Mrs I never considered phoning up to complain- it's so rude.
I did make it clear in my acceptance that my name was different to my husband, but that's it.
It would be a pity if they didn't come over such a petty thing, but as you say it would save you £150- win!

[Fluffyears]

In a separate note you don’t need to change your passport until renewal as king as you book travel in your maiden name as you can go by either name is you wish. Everything else is free to change but a pain in the bum.