Feed me!

[MorelloKisses]

Hi, I'm looking for thoughts and advice.

We are planning the ceremony and the party at the same venue, basically one running into the other. No sit down meal (but there will be seats). There will be snacks available for the duration (so cheese, crackers, crisps and nuts as soon as the ceremony concludes) and a long, informal Street food service through the evening.

If the ceremony is at 3pm and there is a children's tea party at 5.30pm with the main catering opening at 6.30pm, would anyone think that was unreasonable?

Btw to clarify, the children's tea party will be in the adjacent room to the main event, it will be the start of a full nanny/crèche room that all the children will be registered for, but no one is obliged to use, children are welcome at all parts of the event.

*Ok, so everyone basically thinks the standard hotel schedule/breakfast plan would be better

Fair enough*

Hell no!! Our wedding is still talked about 3 years later by most of our friends as 'the best wedding ever' and it was far more similar to your plans than the standard hotel ceremony/canapés/photos/ formal breakfast/disco thing that most people expect.

Make clear to your guests that their preconceptions of a wedding don't apply (maybe put some details on a wedding website instead of having to spend loads on detailed invitations?) and then do what reflects the two of you and what is important to you. Your plans sound wonderful.

Please don't change your plans, your wedding sounds amazing I would love it and my kids would be in heaven with your chill out room.

I don't get the need to eat at 5, who actually eats at that time on a normal day? My kids aren't even home from after school club!

Cheese, crackers and nuts are great to keep guest's going in between. Ignore the naysayers as they seem to have the self control of toddlers, most adults are perfectly capable of grabbing some lunch before (or something on the way if they are travelling) and then not overeating / drinking before the main food comes out .

The best weddings i have been to are those that had a more informal vibe. Enjoy your wonderful day and I am sure it will be talked about long after for all the right reasons!

I, too, am baffled that people would really turn up at a 3/3.30 start having not eaten anything. Muppets.

Our wedding day ran like this:
12pm-12.30pm ceremony
12.30-1.30pm guests make way to reception whilst we have photos. Bar open and limited canapés whilst waiting for us to arrive.
2.15pm we arrive at reception.
2.30-4pm capanes, bar open, photos etc.
4pm-6pm wedding breakfast.
6pm-7pm hang about, do not a lot. Wait for evening lot to arrive
7pm-8pm first dance and cake cutting at some point in here. When we remembered.
8pm-2am band, DJ, hog roast, cake, brownies and ice cream etc.
2am- throw the drunk lot out and go collapse into my own bed having totally tired myself out.
6am- realise I have still not slept and that it is now time to go take the marquee down...

(The no sleeping and throwing drunk people out is optional!!)

Don't bloody change it, don't not have nuts and don't do things to please everyone else. Have the day you guys want and bloody well enjoy it. Whatever you do I'm sure there will be someone who has something to say- tell them they can have their say when they start footing the bill.

Also yes, someone who is so deathly allergic to nuts that touching a door handle with nut traces on would kill them will presumably be used to taking precautions. Allergies like that don't just suddenly manifest themselves overnight, and if they've lived long enough to be invited to a wedding then I'm guessing they somehow manage to get through daily life without injecting their epipen every third stride. disclaimer: my niece has a severe nut allergy and even she, at 7 years old, manages all of the above- and before she could manage her parents managed it for her. These people know they are allergic and know that at an event like that or indeed anywhere you go nowadays, it is likely they may come into contact with nuts and they take appropriate precautions. They are not idiots.

Yes informal is great. Different is great. All I ask is for a few canapés and napkins rather than a free for all around crisp bowls.

Crisp packets!

(And crackers, cheese, nuts, fruit, cake)

There will be napkins (and plates and cutlery) we aren't savages!

I'm sure you'll have a great day. I have been to at least one wedding a year for about 10 years. The best have been the most informal, provision of napkins notwithstanding.

You need to scrap the nuts re allergies

Because...people who are allergic to nuts see some at a buffet and feel obliged to pick some up and eat them?