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Original poster

what would you do? deciding wedding location

41 replies

youlittlecharmer · 08/07/2016 12:25

Back story - DP and I are from Lancashire. Most of family, friends etc there with a few others spread around the country. We moved to Cornwall 2.5 years ago and are very happy here (have some family) and have made friends, but aren't planning on staying forever-ever due to careers etc.

We got engaged in December and are planning the wedding for next May. In Cornwall. We want to basically show off where we live and invite everyone down for a big party near/on the beach and have a great time. Obviously, this will involve 90% of our guests travelling 350+ miles and staying at least one night (realistically more like 2 or 3), in peak season, in a prime tourist spot.

We've had a few comments about why we aren't doing it up north, and the simple answer is 'we don't want to'. However, I am very much of the opinion that big weddings are more about family and friends than just the couple - if that's all we wanted then we would just do it in the local church and not have such an event.

I'm just struggling a bit with the guilt of expecting everyone to travel so far and have to spend so much for us, especially when there will be at least two babies around by then. Would you just suck it up and carry on, or change plans to get married up north??

OP posts:

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom · 11/07/2016 08:53

Obviously they stayed in Cornwall, they didn't do the journey there and back in one day. Thought I'd better get that in before I get ridiculed again. It meant that although a long journey, nobody had to drive. No idea how doable it would be and I imagine it would be expensive, but again it's just a thought.

Batteriesallgone · 11/07/2016 08:58

Suspect it would also be cheaper up north given that places down south can charge what they like over holiday time. Worth some thought.

MustStopAndThinkBeforePosting · 11/07/2016 09:28

I would either get married up north or change the date to off-peak. Lancashire to Cornwall in the summer is too much to ask for a big wedding.

dulcefarniente · 11/07/2016 13:34

The PP who suggested stag/hen in Cornwall to show it off to friends and a wedding in the north to save the expense and inconvenience for their guests has cracked it. I'm assuming there are venues in the north that would have significance for you both?

dulcefarniente · 11/07/2016 13:36

Plus your Cornish friends and family might like to escape from the tourists for a weekend!

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom · 11/07/2016 14:54

Someone will post about the hen/stag do expense

It's a very good idea, though. Especially will advance warning to save on train fares and YHA costs Definitely look into minibus hire for that - apparently it can work out less dear, although how true that is I honestly don't know.

Batteriesallgone · 11/07/2016 15:35

I was thinking that too Handsome

bombayflambe · 11/07/2016 15:40

Spring bank holiday weekend, heading to Cornwall.
Hmm.
Can you fly everyone in?
Can you afford to put them all up somewhere? Perhaps an exclusive use venue?
Otherwise I can't see it being viable if almost everyone in the wedding has that kind of journey/expense.

dulcefarniente · 11/07/2016 15:49

I'm assuming that close family will have visited since moving there so that it's friends who you really want to get down to Cornwall. Another assumption is that they are probably at a similar life stage to you and so more likely to be happy to share transport, accommodation etc. Crashing on a Cornish friend's sofa is more likely to be something a mate would do rather than Great Aunt Ethel.

GemmaB78 · 15/07/2016 08:11

Very similar story here. We met in Devon where we both lived at the time so would have loved to marry there. But with guests travelling from Kent (my home area), Germany (DP's home) and Hull (where we live now), we had lots to choose from. We went for Kent as it's my home and minimises travel for most of our guests.

Crunchymum · 17/07/2016 20:54

Sorry but if 90% of people you would like at your wedding would have to travel 350 miles then you need to get married up North.

SlightlyperturbedOwl · 17/07/2016 20:59

We live in the north around the same distance from Cornwall as your family/friends. We love Cornwall, but are choosey about when we go. It took 10hrs each way last time...

MumOnACornishFarm · 17/07/2016 21:12

In my experience most people get married where they live, not where they used to live. It's not like you're having a wedding in the Bahamas, it's Cornwall. If anything I would consider having the wedding out of peak season (cheaper for you, cheaper for guests, easier for guests with children, no crazy crowds, more accommodation to choose from, etc) but I wouldn't consider having the wedding up north so far from your current home. YANBU.

When we eventually get round to rescheduling our wedding (have already cancelled one!) it will be in Cornwall. Our close family is in Somerset, Hants, Herts, London, Lancs, and Czech Rep.

SharonfromEON · 17/07/2016 21:20

It depends on what is important..I now only go to weddings , Hen do's if it doesn't cost me considerable expense...

AngelaSimmons · 29/08/2016 07:31

Sydney is the best wedding location.

WhiskersAndPaws · 26/09/2016 21:24

I've done the same don't feel guilty the last thing you want is planning a wedding hundreds of miles away from where you actually live. Don't deliberate over it if that's what you want or you'll resent your guests for piling on the pressure. They'll have a lovely time anyway Cornwall is beautiful! This is your day OP FFS can't believe the people telling you to get married up north because of moany guests!

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