Plus One? How do you decide who gets one?

[Remm89]

Morning everyone!

Looking for some advice over an issue that cropped up over the weekend when discussing the guest list with my fiancé this weekend.

How do you decide which friends/family members get plus ones and which ones don't???

The issue has cropped up surrounding one of my fiancé's closest friend's girlfriend. They have been close friends since starting secondary school and will be organising the stag weekend along with the best man. This mate has a long term girlfriend who he lives with but they are not engaged/have kids.

I just assumed that we would invite both of them but my fiancé has turned round bluntly this weekend and said he doesn't want to pay for people that aren't close mates to either of us to come.

I don't really know what to do - I tried to explain that in that situation I would expect an invite (e.g cohabiting but not engaged) but he just didn't seem to understand.

AIBU? How do you decide who gets a plus one?

Any advice welcome :)

Have you asked him how he would feel if you were excluded from a mate's wedding because said mate thought he would have more fun without you? That said mate thought he knew better about what kind of partner he should choose? That might make him see this from a different angle.

Even if everyone loathes the woman with good reason (and it sounds like there isn't one - maybe one person took a dislike and everyone jumped on the hate wagon?) it still isn't on for your fiancé to exclude her. She is his mate's choice and if he can't respect that I'd lose a bit of respect for him.

I would hazard a guess that she hasn't done anything wrong at all, and your fiance doesn't want to invite her so his mate can have a bit of a 'lads day' with his single mates at your wedding.

A plus one is an invite to someone single so they can bring someone on the day so they're not alone.

Someone living with their partner isn't a plus one, they're "the other half" and so should be named on the invite.

Your fiance is being a bit of a dick about this and needs to understand that he runs the risk of upsetting/offending an old friend, who may then not come to the wedding. He also will probably be seen as a dick by others wondering why his mate's partner deliberately wasn't invited.