Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Weddings

Chat to other Mumsnetters on our Wedding forum.

Original poster

wdyt of this wedding?

42 replies

00100001 · 06/01/2015 18:57

We are having a non-fuss wedding.

Registry Office. Immediate family only. All going out for a meal of some sort after.
Saturday after meeting friends and well wishers at a pub - they can buy their own drinks and any food they want.

Would you be upset that I didn't pick up your bar bill or put on food?

OP posts:
WoolyBoots · 06/01/2015 18:58

We are having similar. I have rung friends and told them our plans - all happy to come and celebrate and not in the least bothered we can't afford to pay for them. Hope you have a lovely time!

iklboo · 06/01/2015 19:00

Not at all. I'd be happy to be invited to your intimate wedding. Especially if I knew you were on a budget.

Congratulations - and have a wonderful day.

CleanLinesSharpEdges · 06/01/2015 19:03

I personally think it'd be gracious to at least buy everyone one drink.

I presume you'll make it clear to your guests that no food/drinks are being provided, you're basically inviting them along to sit in a pub for the afternoon.

I wouldn't be upset about it though.

SillyBlueHat · 06/01/2015 19:03

Sounds great, can get pissed but don't have to find a posh frock

SillyBlueHat · 06/01/2015 19:04

Ps: make sure you make it clear no presents. If I bought someone a gift is expect to get fed

nottheOP · 06/01/2015 19:04

As long as they know what the deal is its fine.

Original poster
00100001 · 06/01/2015 19:05

maybe I'll buy them a drink if they turn up... just won't tell them before hand :D

OP posts:
Original poster
00100001 · 06/01/2015 19:06

good lordy - definitely no presents. wouldn't dream of asking and have made it clear to anyone involved that nothing is expected at all.

if they truly truly truly insist then I will ask they donate any money to a charity of their choice or the RNLI

OP posts:
Thehedgehogsong · 06/01/2015 19:10

Sounds good! I'd like that as a guest. Weddings with all the frills usually mean eating boring food and waiting until 10pm to say hi to the B&G because they've been having photographs taken for the 6 hours you've been at the reception venue then going home knowing you'll never even hear if they like the gift and you wasted an evening away from your family.

Can I ask why you have 33 in binary code as your name? Isn't that a space?

Mintyy · 06/01/2015 19:10

Presumably your immediate family know about your desperate financial straits.

I don't think you can ask anyone else to celebrate with you in these circumstances though.

Can you not put on a modest buffet at home, rather than in the pub, and ask people to bring a bottle?

SillyBlueHat · 06/01/2015 19:12

Ps: make sure you make it clear no presents. If I bought someone a gift is expect to get fed

Original poster
00100001 · 06/01/2015 19:16

mintyy - The thought behind the pub and a 'drop in' session was that
we just don't want the bother and hassle of organising anything like that with formal invitations and counting heads and worrying about providing enough food etc. Also - am considering buying the first drink for everyone who comes to the pub.

We are paying for our family meal and any drinks etc that it incurs.

33 is actually an exclamation mark - and just because :)

OP posts:
WoolyBoots · 06/01/2015 19:20

I wouldn't expect my meal to be paid for if I bought a present! Surely you buy a present to congratulate the people who have just got married, as a gesture of love/friendship/happiness for them, not just because they're paying for your meal? I would but a gift/voucher in a card regardless of whether it was a posh hotel reception or just a piss up in a pub!

DannyShouldHaveChosenRizzo · 06/01/2015 19:25

I am surprised at those who would expect to be fed if they bought a gift.
Do you really buy gifts expecting something in return?!

Y0rkshirePudding · 07/01/2015 20:03

Sounds fine to me.

We're putting food on for our wedding guests because my OH parents have very kindly offered to pay for the venue & catering, as we can't afford it. But my sister is just doing the registry office and off to pub after, where people will have to pay for their own food and drink.

People have to respect that not everyone can afford a lavish expensive wedding, or some just simply do want all the fuss! Both should not be looked down upon. If invited guests don't like it then they don't have to come. As long as they are politely informed beforehand I don't see that there should be any problem. Really hope you have a wonderful day x

BackforGood · 07/01/2015 20:12

I agree with Minty.
I think it's a bit strange to ask people to 'meet you for a drink in a pub' a week after you get married.
I'd rather spend the money on a bit of a buffet for a party in the house, and have it as that - ' a party to celebrate the wedding'. People would bring a bottle to a house party anyhow so you wouldn't have to spend much.
Or ask people to come and share the whole day - attend the ceremony, and then say that anyone who wants to can come and have a meal with you afterwards, but it's everyone to pay for themselves. I'd be quite happy to do that if a friend were getting married who had no money, but would find it odd to turn up to a pub, on a different day from the wedding, just to have a drink.
However - you know your friends best.... but then, you did ask! Grin

Qwebec · 08/01/2015 15:43

It seems to me like a great idea. I find the formal weddings tedious at times. I would be delighted to come. Hope you have a great evening.

HerRoyalNotness · 08/01/2015 15:49

How many friends are you thinking?

I'd probably organise some snacky things and pay for drinks up to a limit if there weren't too many people coming along, say up to 20.

HerRoyalNotness · 08/01/2015 15:50

*that would be limit of say 500quid if 20 people came along or whatever, not a limit of 20 drinks pp Grin

realised it may have read that way

Lagoonablue · 08/01/2015 15:53

Wou?d the pub not put some nibbles on if you are generating a big crowd for them?

I would do a little snacks buffet tbh.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 08/01/2015 15:55

Id not find it odd, but would rather just do a "bring a bottle" type housr party the evening of the wedding day and just do some nibbles.

Legionofboom · 08/01/2015 16:00

I think it depends a bit on your friends and their expectations.

For example my sister (and her friends) would get the cat's bum face about this sort of arrangement in the pub. My brother and his friends would think it was fine and getting the first drink free would be a real bonus.

Sidge · 08/01/2015 16:04

Well technically the wedding itself is family only then out for a meal, which is fine.

The rest is "meeting your mates in the pub for a drink" and not really a wedding celebration in any shape or form. I wouldn't have a problem with it, but if you invited me under the guise of 'celebrating our wedding' I'd expect some nibbles and maybe a glass of fizz or Pimms or something.

comeagainforbigfudge · 08/01/2015 16:06

Ooh sounds perfect! Most people buy their own drinks at evening receptions and at many of the weddings I've been to the buffet doesn't get eaten any ways!!

Plus the Saturday after isn't that long. I know many people who have got married abroad and then a month later had a wedding reception at home. and bought a second dress because they could

If you were organising a big catch up meal people would pay their own meal anyway. This just has the added bonus of being a celebration.

Go for it!

Original poster
00100001 · 08/01/2015 16:09

Just to be clear, the drinks would be about 2 days after the actual wedding not 'a week later' :)

I don't think it's for me to meet my friend's expectations, as they could be expecting anything iyswim? They could expect a sit down meal, 3 courses, speeches, disco etc. Doe sit mean I have to provide that? No. Not if that's not what we want to do either.

I think about 30-40 people would come along during the course of the afternoon.

Our flat is quite small, but we could host it there for people to pop in, and I can make some nibbly bits I suppose. Or maybe we could do a similar thing in a park. Have people bring a picnic?

We really don't want anything formal or lots of stress and bother to organise.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread