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Original poster

wdyt of this wedding?

42 replies

00100001 · 06/01/2015 18:57

We are having a non-fuss wedding.

Registry Office. Immediate family only. All going out for a meal of some sort after.
Saturday after meeting friends and well wishers at a pub - they can buy their own drinks and any food they want.

Would you be upset that I didn't pick up your bar bill or put on food?

OP posts:

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 08/01/2015 16:12

Ooh this was exactly what we were thinking of doing

The Duty Bit with family, then Fun Bit weekend after with friends

We're going to put a few £££ behind bar though

PrincessOfChina · 08/01/2015 16:12

I wouldn't expect you to buy my drinks, but as a host in that situation I would buys everyone a drink for a toast. So if there were c. 30 people I'd buy 4 or 5 bottles of fizz.

kaykayred · 08/01/2015 16:15

I think the best option would be to hire out somewhere, so it's only people you know (you can often hire out an area of a pub for a minimal fee, if not free of charge), and to put some money behind the bar.

It doesn't have to be a lot, just whatever you want. Calculating the amount for one drink per person for example, or buying a certain number of wine bottles from behind the bar.

You are going to be too distracted to go and buy the first drink for every single person as they arrive. It would be a nightmare!

StrangeGlue · 08/01/2015 16:19

As long as I knew the score I'd be very happy with this. I wasn't completely clear from your op what you were doing with the 2 groups but it's become clear through the thread and I think it's grand.

I assume your mates know and like you so a laid back celebration will come as no shock to them

Notmymonkeys · 08/01/2015 16:25

I would be thrilled to come to this sort of wedding - I usually dread weddings, I find them excruciating!

If dp and I ever get married, I would want to do something very similar to what you're planning. The idea of everyone toasting me makes me feel ill though - that would be a reason for me NOT to buy/provide drinks.

I would probably put some money behind the bar or have a keg of beer/few bottles of wine, because I think my friends would appreciate it.

Mintyy · 08/01/2015 20:22

Surely, if you are inviting people to celebrate with you, then you need to do some sort of hosting? Show a bit of hospitality? Otherwise how is it different to any other sort of evening in the pub?

Discobugsacha · 08/01/2015 20:30

Having it in the pub sounds good and people can get their own drinks but I do think you should arrange some sort of buffet. It would just be rude not to. You invited people to celebrate your wedding, they will probably bring presents. It will not be expensive to provide a buffet, and a drink on arrival would be nice too!

ToAvoidConversation · 08/01/2015 20:35

Some pubs will provide nibbles if you say you will be bringing X amount of people? Might be an idea to ask?

Nerf · 08/01/2015 20:45

I don't know, depends if you'll all be spread out across the pub with non wedding people in between. Why not hire a room? Otherwise it'll just be little groups of people hanging around together with nothing to bind them - little speech, toast to the couple, cake etx.

pengymum · 08/01/2015 21:12

Maybe have a bring a dish party/picnic? (If weather ok).
That way will be plenty of food - best do list of suggested dishes & ask people what they want to bring from list.
Congrats!

iwouldgoouttonight · 08/01/2015 21:22

I think your idea sounds great, if I was getting married I'd like to do the same. If you're going out to the pub or for a meal for a friend's birthday you'd take a present and pay for your own food and drinks, and that's a special occasion so why would it be different for a wedding. (I know you don't want presents but just saying to the people who would want to be bought food if they brought a gift).

dalekanium · 08/01/2015 21:32

We did this. It was great.

DarylDixonsDarlin · 08/01/2015 21:42

We had a little buffet lunch at home for the people who had been at the registry office with us, and sparkling wine champagne for myself and DH

Then we had an evening buffet at a local restaurant for wider family and friends, with disco and a buy your own drinks vibe going on...still got presents, plenty of people came!

GlowWine · 08/01/2015 21:55

We did this too. Registry, walk to restaurant, meal for immediate family (12). Then back home for a gathering with friends (30 maybe) with cake made by me and 'champagne,' brought by my parents. Minimum fuss, and everyone enjoyed themselves. So yes we provided a bit for our guests, but as long as you make sure everyone is aware of what to expect then I'm sure they'll be happy to share in your celebration, your way.

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 08/01/2015 21:55

yep, I'd get as far away from the idea of hostin' and toastin' as poss

more like a big birthday party- and as iwouldgoouttonight says, most people happily fork out for a birthday meal, because: FUN

if the choice is between (realistically, because of lack of funds) having a really quiet wedding where you just go off and get it done on your own, and involving your mates and getting them to fork out a bit, any mates worth their salt would prefer the second option, I hope bet. That way they can help you mark the occasion and celebrate with you

BettieLeeloo · 08/01/2015 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 10/01/2015 15:08

never mind your friends when planning a budget wedding- but watch out for your kids, if you have any

just told 11yo DD I'd bought a nice Boden dress in the sale to get married in

she shat a BRICK

"BO-den???"

"SALE?????"

...interestingly, this is the same sort of shit my mum got from my nannas 50 years ago

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