wdyt of this wedding?

[00100001]

We are having a non-fuss wedding.

Registry Office. Immediate family only. All going out for a meal of some sort after.
Saturday after meeting friends and well wishers at a pub - they can buy their own drinks and any food they want.


Would you be upset that I didn't pick up your bar bill or put on food?

[MuddhaOfSuburbia]

never mind your friends when planning a budget wedding- but watch out for your kids, if you have any

just told 11yo DD I'd bought a nice Boden dress in the sale to get married in

she shat a BRICK

"BO-den???"

"SALE?????"



...interestingly, this is the same sort of shit my mum got from my nannas 50 years ago

[MuddhaOfSuburbia]

yep, I'd get as far away from the idea of hostin' and toastin' as poss

more like a big birthday party- and as iwouldgoouttonight says, most people happily fork out for a birthday meal, because: FUN

if the choice is between (realistically, because of lack of funds) having a really quiet wedding where you just go off and get it done on your own, and involving your mates and getting them to fork out a bit, any mates worth their salt would prefer the second option, I hope bet. That way they can help you mark the occasion and celebrate with you

[GlowWine]

We did this too. Registry, walk to restaurant, meal for immediate family (12). Then back home for a gathering with friends (30 maybe) with cake made by me and 'champagne,' brought by my parents. Minimum fuss, and everyone enjoyed themselves. So yes we provided a bit for our guests, but as long as you make sure everyone is aware of what to expect then I'm sure they'll be happy to share in your celebration, your way.

[DarylDixonsDarlin]

We had a little buffet lunch at home for the people who had been at the registry office with us, and sparkling wine champagne for myself and DH

Then we had an evening buffet at a local restaurant for wider family and friends, with disco and a buy your own drinks vibe going on...still got presents, plenty of people came!

[dalekanium]

We did this. It was great.

[iwouldgoouttonight]

I think your idea sounds great, if I was getting married I'd like to do the same. If you're going out to the pub or for a meal for a friend's birthday you'd take a present and pay for your own food and drinks, and that's a special occasion so why would it be different for a wedding. (I know you don't want presents but just saying to the people who would want to be bought food if they brought a gift).

[pengymum]

Maybe have a bring a dish party/picnic? (If weather ok).
That way will be plenty of food - best do list of suggested dishes & ask people what they want to bring from list.
Congrats!

[Nerf]

I don't know, depends if you'll all be spread out across the pub with non wedding people in between. Why not hire a room? Otherwise it'll just be little groups of people hanging around together with nothing to bind them - little speech, toast to the couple, cake etx.

[ToAvoidConversation]

Some pubs will provide nibbles if you say you will be bringing X amount of people? Might be an idea to ask?

[Discobugsacha]

Having it in the pub sounds good and people can get their own drinks but I do think you should arrange some sort of buffet. It would just be rude not to. You invited people to celebrate your wedding, they will probably bring presents. It will not be expensive to provide a buffet, and a drink on arrival would be nice too!

[Mintyy]

Surely, if you are inviting people to celebrate with you, then you need to do some sort of hosting? Show a bit of hospitality? Otherwise how is it different to any other sort of evening in the pub?

[Notmymonkeys]

I would be thrilled to come to this sort of wedding - I usually dread weddings, I find them excruciating!

If dp and I ever get married, I would want to do something very similar to what you're planning. The idea of everyone toasting me makes me feel ill though - that would be a reason for me NOT to buy/provide drinks.

I would probably put some money behind the bar or have a keg of beer/few bottles of wine, because I think my friends would appreciate it.

[StrangeGlue]

As long as I knew the score I'd be very happy with this. I wasn't completely clear from your op what you were doing with the 2 groups but it's become clear through the thread and I think it's grand.

I assume your mates know and like you so a laid back celebration will come as no shock to them

[kaykayred]

I think the best option would be to hire out somewhere, so it's only people you know (you can often hire out an area of a pub for a minimal fee, if not free of charge), and to put some money behind the bar.

It doesn't have to be a lot, just whatever you want. Calculating the amount for one drink per person for example, or buying a certain number of wine bottles from behind the bar.

You are going to be too distracted to go and buy the first drink for every single person as they arrive. It would be a nightmare!

[PrincessOfChina]

I wouldn't expect you to buy my drinks, but as a host in that situation I would buys everyone a drink for a toast. So if there were c. 30 people I'd buy 4 or 5 bottles of fizz.

[MuddhaOfSuburbia]

Ooh this was exactly what we were thinking of doing

The Duty Bit with family, then Fun Bit weekend after with friends

We're going to put a few £££ behind bar though

[00100001]

Just to be clear, the drinks would be about 2 days after the actual wedding not 'a week later' :)

I don't think it's for me to meet my friend's expectations, as they could be expecting anything iyswim? They could expect a sit down meal, 3 courses, speeches, disco etc. Doe sit mean I have to provide that? No. Not if that's not what we want to do either.

I think about 30-40 people would come along during the course of the afternoon.

Our flat is quite small, but we could host it there for people to pop in, and I can make some nibbly bits I suppose. Or maybe we could do a similar thing in a park. Have people bring a picnic?

We really don't want anything formal or lots of stress and bother to organise.

[comeagainforbigfudge]

Ooh sounds perfect! Most people buy their own drinks at evening receptions and at many of the weddings I've been to the buffet doesn't get eaten any ways!!

Plus the Saturday after isn't that long. I know many people who have got married abroad and then a month later had a wedding reception at home. and bought a second dress because they could

If you were organising a big catch up meal people would pay their own meal anyway. This just has the added bonus of being a celebration.


Go for it!

[Sidge]

Well technically the wedding itself is family only then out for a meal, which is fine.

The rest is "meeting your mates in the pub for a drink" and not really a wedding celebration in any shape or form. I wouldn't have a problem with it, but if you invited me under the guise of 'celebrating our wedding' I'd expect some nibbles and maybe a glass of fizz or Pimms or something.

[Legionofboom]

I think it depends a bit on your friends and their expectations.

For example my sister (and her friends) would get the cat's bum face about this sort of arrangement in the pub. My brother and his friends would think it was fine and getting the first drink free would be a real bonus.

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Id not find it odd, but would rather just do a "bring a bottle" type housr party the evening of the wedding day and just do some nibbles.

[Lagoonablue]

Wou?d the pub not put some nibbles on if you are generating a big crowd for them?

I would do a little snacks buffet tbh.

[HerRoyalNotness]

*that would be limit of say 500quid if 20 people came along or whatever, not a limit of 20 drinks pp

realised it may have read that way

[HerRoyalNotness]

How many friends are you thinking?

I'd probably organise some snacky things and pay for drinks up to a limit if there weren't too many people coming along, say up to 20.