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Original poster

Is it normal for a groom to have a special dance with his mother?

107 replies

AKissIsNotAContract · 27/04/2013 21:36

I'm just wondering if this is something my MIL to be has come up with or if it's normal for a son and his mum to have a special dance that's just for the two of them at a wedding.

It sounds like a shit idea to me but perhaps I'm biased!

OP posts:
alwayslateforwork · 27/04/2013 21:38

Er, no. Not where I'm from. Weird.

crazydrunkevilhamster · 27/04/2013 21:40

Erm no Hmm

EverybodysStressyEyed · 27/04/2013 21:40

i've only ever seen the b&g do a dance and then split up and the bride dance with her dad and the groom with his mum and then everyone piles in

Hulababy · 27/04/2013 21:40

Never heard of it before and I have been to lots of weddings.

Normal for him to dance with his mum for a dance during the night but not a special set up one with only them on the dance floor.

Springforward · 27/04/2013 21:40

No, it's not normal, I have never seen that at a wedding and frankly would feel sorry for the bride if I did.

Floralnomad · 27/04/2013 21:41

Very strange .

HazeltheMcWitch · 27/04/2013 21:42

It's odd, but surely no more odd than a bride dancing with her father?

Freddiemisagreatshag · 27/04/2013 21:42

I've seen it done once.

It was the second dance, after the bride and groom dance. And it was

has totally outed self

purrpurr · 27/04/2013 21:43

Urgh. Weird. I think I just made my first cats bum face. Mums that are all over their adult sons like sauce on spaghetti makes me hurl. Not that I'm speaking from increasingly bitter experience, obviously...

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 27/04/2013 21:44

Well I had a dance with my dad, and DH had one with his mum, but not a 'special' dance with specially chosen music or anything, and not just him and his mum on the dance floor.

Original poster
AKissIsNotAContract · 27/04/2013 21:46

Thanks for the responses.

Would it be really unreasonable of me to not tell the DJ which song she wants?

I just think it'll be really cringey.

OP posts:
doublecakeplease · 27/04/2013 21:46

I've seen it at one wedding. Not arsed either way - its his wedding too so if that's what he wants too then fair play

twooter · 27/04/2013 21:50

What song is it? And what does your dh think about it?

Original poster
AKissIsNotAContract · 27/04/2013 21:50

He doesn't want it! But we were both just wondering if it's the norm.

My dad isn't invited to our wedding so I won't be dancing with him.

If it's a regular done thing then we will do it, but I can't help feeling that it's a bit odd and cringey.

OP posts:
Original poster
AKissIsNotAContract · 27/04/2013 21:52

The song is Louis Armstrong - Wonderful world. She wanted Celine Dion but DP put his foot down about that.

OP posts:
piprabbit · 27/04/2013 21:56

Are you having a special dance with your dad? Could you extend it so that DH dances with him mum while you dance with your dad?

But if your DH doesn't want it and you don't want it, then I think you are going to have to tell her.

HazeltheMcWitch · 27/04/2013 21:56

If he doesn't want to, then he needs to tell his mum that!
And if he needs an excuse, can he not say it'll make you sad (re your dad)?

DontmindifIdo · 27/04/2013 21:58

No, not the norm!!!

Bride and groom do 'first dance' either for the full dance, or until about halfway through when the father of the groom should ask the mother of the bride to dance and the father of the bride ask the mother of the groom dance, the best man asks the chief bridesmaid to dance.

In some cultures the bride has a dance with her father, but never the groom and his mum.

Make a big thing about the fact your dad will be asking her to dance as that's the proper tradition.

Be sure to tell the DJ no matter how many times she asks him to play it, he's not too.

DontmindifIdo · 27/04/2013 22:00

oh, missed your dad won't be there, is there anyone who would be able to step in to make a big thing of asking her to dance? Could it be that you've said the best man is to ask her to dance and join your first dance half way through?

SconeRhymesWithGone · 27/04/2013 22:00

At our wedding, DH and his mother joined me and my father on the dance floor after Dad and I had danced a short time just the two of us. This was in the US, though, where something along these lines is fairly common.

cat · 27/04/2013 22:04

Er, no.

And again, no.

The apron strings are supposed to be cut ^before^ the wedding.

Xiaoxiong · 27/04/2013 22:06

At many weddings I've been to, the bride and groom start off the first dance on their own and then the father of the bride and the mother of the groom then cut in and dance with their respective children for a bit. Not a big special choreographed number or announced by the DJ like the first dance is though.

piprabbit · 27/04/2013 22:07

Sorry x-post, I've just seen your dad won't be there. In which case definitely tell her that nobody will be formally dancing with their parents.

purrpurr · 27/04/2013 22:07

She wants a special song? I'm appalled. Do you think she wants her moment in the limelight, and this is a sure fire way of getting attention? Or is she creepily attached to her son? In a way that suggests perhaps she wishes she was the one marrying him?

ChasedByBees · 27/04/2013 22:11

I think this might be ok if your dad was there but as he isn't, it would be insensitive and I think that's a good excuse for your DP to pass on to let his mother down gently. What would you do during this dance? Watch twiddling your thumbs?