BOMBSHELL JUST DROPPED, HELP ME DEAL WITH THE AFTERMATH!

[reeniemartini]

Hi all,

I'm not sure this is the right site for this but you all have more experience than I at these things. I have been compelled to write my first post after some news I had yesterday and would really appreciate some advice from people that are totally disconnected from our situation. Maybe you will help me to see things more clearly!

Please bear with me I've been up until 5am this morning with all these questions going around in my mind.

I am getting married in August 200 miles away from where I live. My sister and I are very close and she kind of has links to the local wedding industry and due to the fact that she brilliantly arranged her own wedding from scratch 3 years ago was going to play a major role in helping me with mine. She's was basically keeping an eye on all things local that I couldn't get to. Bless! She was even making our cake!
For the past year her husband and her have been trying for a baby, after no success they were starting the hospital tests route and were going to stop trying for a few months so it wouldn't clash with out wedding.
Phone call yesterday, too late.........She's pregnant! Fabulous news of course, I'm over joyed. Problem? It's due 1/2 weeks before our wedding.
She was so upset, I was telling her not to worry. She was saying it won't change anything saying "I will still be there as much as I would if I wasn't preggers."
Firstly I know that's true - she will try not to let it get in the way of anything but I can't see how it's possible - and do I really want here stressing herself like that?
Secondly - 1/2 weeks, that's pretty close - what's the bets that it happens on the day? How would I feel worrying for the next 9 months that that may happen? How would my parents feel torn between the birth of there first grandchild and their other daughters wedding day?
She's either going to be so heavily pregnant that she's not going to want want to move in the summer heat, or only just delivered her first child with all the scariness that involves.
Basically I'm thinking should we just take all of this out of the equation and move the date of the wedding. If I have it end of September, I won't have to think about any of that and she won't have to worry and can enjoy being pregnant.
I'm not an expert on these things, how do you feel a week or two before or after giving birth?
If we can rearrange without incurring any extra costs should we?
How did you all feel two weeks prior / after giving birth?

My sister had her first baby just two weeks before our wedding day and she still came. Her DS slept most of the time and it was lovely to have him (my parents' first grand child) at the wedding too.

Even if the baby is born on the wedding day itself why would this mean your parents would be torn? They are not planning on being there at the birth are they? They can go to the wedding and go see the baby later.

However, if you do decide to move it I agree with the people who say move it forwards not back

You sound lovely. I went to a wedding 1 week before I was due and had a great night and DS turned out to be 10 days late.

Better to move your wedding forward if you can.

Ah you're such a sweet sister. Sitting here with a three week old I'd definitely say move the wedding earlier rather than later as there's no way I could attend a wedding which wasn't on my doorstep (or closer!) right now. But only move it if you're happy with that. Most first babies are late anyway, I think the average is for first babies to be 8 days late.x

Never got married or had a baby, so I'm going to be no help at all - just wanted to echo the other posters and say how lovely lovely lovely you sound. If you're thinking so hard about making it a great day for your sister, there's no way it isn't going to be a wonderful wedding whatever you decide to do. Best of luck to you both. xx

If it helps I went to my sister's wedding 2 days before my due date and had a fab time!

I was fine right up to the day I gave birth. Afterwards, I didn't want to leave the house for a month or so! So it's hard to say whether a little before the birth or a little after would be easier for her, it depends on the individual. But with my first baby I did find it very hard to do anything non-baby-related till I got to grips with being a mum and dealing with a baby.

Congratulations to both of you. And move the wedding if you can so that the rest of the family can give each event its proper weight. carabos I don't think sister made a public announcement of the pregnancy, she told a person very close to her who she knew was going to be affected quite dramatically by her news - like I told my boss far earlier than I would have done in a big organisation, because I and one other were the only staff he had and he was talking about taking on a massive job a week before my due date.

If you can move it, do. This happened to a close friend of mine and the run up to her wedding was spoiled with worry over whether her sister would give birth or not, and her sister felt under huge pressure. In the end she gave birth only a couple of days before the wedding and although she made it had a miserable time, and wasn't able to be bridesmaid. Hope you get it worked out.x

Thanks everyone, it's really great to get a fresh perspective not having done the pregnancy or birth bit myself yet.

Carabos - she hasn't actually announced it, it's only the grandparents-to-be and me and my partner that know. She was so scared of telling me she didn't sleep for two nights before the phone call. She's had a few difficulties in that area and things aren't behaving exactly normally at the moment so we are all very nervous about the possibility of miscarriage. If that happens I hope I can give her the support I know she will need.

We are having problems with our venue anyway so moving it may kill two birds with one stone but I think I just need a week or so to let the news sink in and make a rational decision.

I guess just want her to enjoy the day as much as possible. I spent the day of her wedding with my head down the toilet due to a stomach bug and I still feel guilty about things I missed due to staring at porcelain for a few hours! ( Not to mention the fact that she is the most bad-ass of all bad-ass organisers and I couldn't organiser a mass suicide at a lemming farm)

I attended a wedding three weeks ago where the bride's sister gave birth 36 hours before the wedding ceremony. She was still able to be one of her sister's attendants.

Hello. We're going to move this thread to the Weddings topic now - seems kinda appropriate...

Ahhh! The wedding thread - sorry! I'm new to all this and didn't notice the dedicated wedding bit!