I think I have just about seen it all now regarding wedding gifts.

[Fimbo]

A friend of a friend was going to the Maldives and instead of gifts they asked for donations to the honeymoon to make it "as spectacular as possible".

That in itself is bad enough imvho. But then I saw the website...... A whole lot of trash about themselves and the honeymoon and a list of all these "experiences" you could buy them. Special people to carry the luggage, speedboat to get them to their villa, day trips to various places etc etc. Oh and you could paypal the money directly to them....

Grr what's wrong with a towel bale or a toaster.

We had a gift list at John Lewis for people who asked with things on it starting from £2.50 (tea towels)

Most people got us something from that and the two gifts we got that didn't come from the list we didn't like/want/need. Plus as I said people always tend to spend a bit more on a wedding present.

Be glad you didn't get married in Scotland years ago because you needed to have a "showing of the gifts". There is where all the gifts are laid out, usually in the brides mother's house and you invite all the females coming to the wedding round for tea, cakes and a nose at the gifts. I had to spend weeks remembering who everything was from.

My mother would have had a heart attack if I asked for money in any way, shape or form.

I really don't understand the problem with asking for money/vouchers, contribtion to a honeymoon or whatever the couple want.

I would much rather get people something they actually want, since when was gift giving about the giver?

Don't see the problem really.

"instead of gifts" doesn't mean "you must give money here" it means "if you choose to get us something, please get this rather than something that we don't want"

But yes I bet the website is awful and tacky.

Is there a generic example website? Can we see it?

Trill - there is a link on my 15.01 post

It is tacky beyond words.

Link doesn't work, what is it called?

Maybe they should just taken whatever they are given with gratitude?

That's a start.

Or just firmly say NO GIFTS if you have everything you need and consider everything else you're given useless stuff and crap. What a fine attitude to have towards guests.

Can't afford a big wedding, don't have one! Can't afford a honeymoon, don't have one!

Want money, go to work or go beg on the street, it's more honest.

sorry, missed quotation marks:
'Maybe they should just taken whatever they are given with gratitude?'

a suggestion of vouchers for honeymoon is OK but yeuccch at the special experiences website.

jeez, that site is grim.

"We really hope that these two perfect weeks in paradise will give us the best start to our married life"

urgh.
I think that possibly loving and trusting each other is the best start to married life, but maybe that's just me.

DH and I got married two weeks ago and had a small gift list to keep our relatives happy. Mostly people got us something small from it (most expensive thing was under a hundred pounds, cheapest a fiver!), and sent us a nice card too. Friends in his country all gave us nice bottles of wine and some money. We also got a copy of "The art of war" in czech from BIL. that was a bit odd. However, as we repeatedly told my mother, the wedding was about us becoming married, and making a committment to each other NOT about presents. She's a bit narked that my godfather/uncle didn't give us anything. I really couldn't care less - I've got my lovely husband which was the main aim of the event :o

Oh crikey.

I am all for giving whatever the B & G want, whether it be toaster or cash, but even I would baulk at that kind of list.

www.honeymoonpromises.com

Look at the Daniel and Kate (think its Kate!) one, it is more or less similar.

Just saw the site!

Tackola.

Greedy, grabby, rude.

Oops its Daniel and Katherine.

Totalchaos - I disagree. For ours, we put on some special experiences, eg. a trip to help rescue turtle babies, a meal at a special restaurant, plus some generic vouchers. No-one bought the vouchers, but almost everything else went.

We have lovely friends and relatives, btw!

Oh and those people who said they took gifts to the charity shop... WHAT? How could you? What if your wedding guests visited you?

Daniel and Kate had 12 years to save up for their own damn holiday of a lifetime rather than soliciting 'guests' to pay for it.

Oxfam gifts were made for grabby, tacky people like this!

Eeeew wedding lists are a bit dodgy IMO
Asking for vouchers - yeugh
Asking for money to pay for EXTRAS on a trip to the Maldives is just the very end.
When people do this I refuse to. I'm happy to give a gift. They can sod off if they think I'm giving them CASH.

Oh Loopyloops when you said you did this, I didn't realise you actually had one of those websites.

What does it matter, Fimbo. These sites are tacky, tacky, tacky! Grabby, grabby, grabby. Rude, rude, rude.

Funny that Expat, because none of our guests thought so. In fact, four couples have used the same website as we did after getting inspiration from ours. (Not the one linked above by the way)

But are John Lewis etc. giftlists not the same? I don't understand the difference.

special experiences. boak.

i'm going to throw a dinner party with a DJ afterwards and in the invites, instruct people to buy us a meal in a restaurant and a massage.

oh, wait, that sounds ridiculous and rude, doesn't it?

I am inclined to think that if you are desperate for matching crockery or luggage sets then you are in need of living a life a little more, to be honest.

Perhaps in need of a better holiday?

With John Lewis you are buying something for the home not a holiday pleasure.