Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

If you don't follow latest research or guidelines wrt baby feeding (in particular weaning)

220 replies

hunkermunker · 21/05/2008 13:47

Can I ask why?

Obviously all babies are individuals, yada yada - and guidelines are just that.

But what happens to make you disregard the up-to-date stuff?

(This is following on from a posting on another thread - but I wanted to make it a less personal, wider thread, rather than it be construed as an attack on one person - because I think the process of how we make decisions regarding our children is interesting).

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 21/05/2008 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VictorianSqualor · 21/05/2008 17:33

So many people on weaning threads seem to think that by a baby being hungry they can judge the maturity of that baby's gut

I don't agree at all, and as I have said on the other thread all you can say with any certainty is that your baby is hungry.

You cannot say their gut is mature, any more than I can say it isn't, but based on research showing baby's bodies are ready any time between 17-26 weeks why would you want to put your child at risk of being one that isn't ready before 26 weeks??? I suppose that's what I don't understand.

TinkerbellesMum · 21/05/2008 17:40

Well said VS

Lulumama · 21/05/2008 18:52

exactly VS

nothing in a mothers' instincts is going to allow you to see if a gut is mature enough

www.kellymom.com has some great myth busting information about weaning

on the whole, if your baby is sitting, lost their tongue thrust reflex, is able to pick up a piece of food and get it to their mouth and chew, their gut is most likely ready

zippyteedoodah · 21/05/2008 18:54

Maybe because the 4-5 month growth spurt/increase in hunger lasts longer than those that came before so folks think "this can't just be a growth spurt but proof of a need to wean"?

My 5mo DS, excl bf, feeds for ~40 min every 2hr during the day, cluster feeds in the evenings for ~3hr & then again for ~40 min every 2-3 hr during the night. This has been ramping up for the last 4 weeks, compared to previous ones which lasted 5-8 days. She's always been a big eater & is on the 98th centile at 19lbs!

I know the advice & all the reasons to wait until 6mo, but still it's hard. Am currently holding out against what feels like an increasing tide of elders, peers & HCP's suggestions that she's ready/needing solids.

The other pressure to wean that I am feeling is a looming return to work when ds will be 27 weeks. 4 full days/week & ds has never accepted a bottle. So I would be reassured if I can get her to drink from a cup & take some solids before then.

zippyteedoodah · 21/05/2008 19:03

sorry, DD! not used to the anachronims yet & DS feels female to my sleep addled brain.

Oh, and that's my peers & not DD's!

TinkerbellesMum · 21/05/2008 19:18

Lulumama KM are great, but don't get into BLW with them! I know a few people (2 are me) who left after getting told how terrible BLW is. I posted about it on Aitch's blog once with a link to their opinion on it

Lulumama · 21/05/2008 19:26

fair enough but the advice re readiness for weaning is excellent, imo.

TinkerbellesMum · 21/05/2008 19:27

It is, most of their site is, but I don't like the forums (more controlling than most) and just avoid the words "Baby Led Weaning" and you're ok.

hatrick · 21/05/2008 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

francagoestohollywood · 21/05/2008 19:43

I weaned at six months. And i'm sorry I didn't know about BLW, because it makes good sense to me.
I didn't breastfeed until 2 yr old, because I honestly didn't want to. I need to feel psychologically free iyswim...

I stopped b/feeding ds at around 11 months and dd at 7 months, which was earlier than I wished, but needed to take medication and I was in too much pain to think straight.

ShowOfHands · 21/05/2008 20:27

This is a very interesting thread. I think this question of 'instinct' is important to address and I see it used as an argument for early weaning more and more. There seems to be a perception that by following an 'instinct' a mother is responding naturally and intuitively to her child and this can only be a good thing, right? In other situations we are told our instinct trumps guidelines. The mother that posts on here saying 'something's not quite right with dd's motor skills' when the hcps have declared all to be well or 'I'm pregnant and something feels wrong' when a midwife says all is fine is told to listen to that all important instinct and rightly so. I fail to see the correlation with weaning. As many on here have said, there is no way to know a baby is ready for food until the developmental signs allow a child to help themselves to food, chew it and swallow it. You can know they're hungrier than normal but the leap to earlier weaning is tenuous at best.

It's a bit of a terrible analogy, but I see it often with pregnancy threads and mothers wanting to bring on their labour when the fact is, the baby will be born when it is ready. Of course some babies will want and indeed need to come early but generally trying to bring on labour is fruitless and induction is so fraught with problems because that baby simply wasn't ready. Of course this desire to hurry things along is only one aspect.

Mothers often seem to believe that their milk isn't enough and I read too frequently that they believe their babies 'need more'. In particular this 'big baby' issue is troubling. If a baby is big then the pressure to wean is enormous. DD was off the charts and 24lb+ at 6 months. Instead of being congratulated that my milk had done a grand job and caused dd to thrive, the party line was 'oh she'll need more than milk'. This undermining negativity is rife it would seem (from reading MN, talking to friends) and when you couple a mother who is told she'll need to wean early by everybody from HVs to friends with a veritable chorus of 'I weaned early and dc is perfectly healthy', we create a dangerous situation I believe. Already mum believes that her milk isn't enough and the general consensus seems to be that there's something to do to help and anecdotal evidence seems to point to it being right and after all it's only a guideline. So many factors combine and early weaning happens again.

I would say for me that 'instinct' told me dd was hungry, no more, no less. Common sense told me that the most calorific thing for her was breastmilk. Of course at 4/5 months dd went through vast developmental changes. She physically matured, started rolling more, trying to sit, engaging more,thinking very hard indeed and she was extremely hungry as a result. I fed on demand so unrestricted access to the breast saw her through this. I wonder sometimes if the way we parent/feed our children leads to mixed messages. Particularly with routine-based feeds there may be more scope to say 's/he's still hungry after his/her feed'. If demand fed then feeds often seem to be an ongoing affair from morning till night and instinct in that situation told me to allow dd unfettered access because her own survival instinct told her how much she needed.

My sil is currently weaning at 14 weeks and a discussion the other day revealed a fundamental difference in our approach. I wholeheartedly believe that weaning is a developmental thing like walking and talking. SIL thinks it is a hunger issue. Her dd is hungry on 4 hourly feeds so must need weaning. Quite apart from baby or parent led weaning, fact based weaning tells me that yes her dd is hungry, no her gut probably isn't mature, no baby rice will do her no good, yes it may do her harm and yes more breastmilk will provide lots of calories. To me, in that situation, the answer seems obvious.

Sorry I'm wittering and contributing little. You've just got me thinking out loud.

Greedygirl · 21/05/2008 20:57

Well put Showofhands! I am struggling to put this eloquently because I am tired but I think that the myths surrounding the "signs" that a baby needs weaning will persist for as long as our society fails to acknowledge/accept that nursing a child can be a 24 hour job and therefore fails to support nursing mothers.

Zippy - I hope your return to work goes ok.

welliemum · 21/05/2008 21:11

Showofhands, I found myself nodding all the way through your post. I really like the points you've made, especially:

  • readiness for weaning is not about hunger, it's a developmental stage.
  • the huge lack of trust in breastmilk that underlies pretty much all reasons people give to wean early. The objective research says that babies don't need food before 6 months - but somehow people can't bring themselves to apply this knowledge to the baby in front of them.

For me, the killer argument against an instinct for weaning is that weaning age differs between cultures and time periods. In Canada in the early 20th century, for example, people would wean at about 8 months or so.

Presumably those mothers, too, were following their instincts. Presumably these babies weren't starving to death either (or there wouldn't be any Canadians left by now).

So have British babies somehow become so super-evolved during the last 100 years that they need food several months earlier?

Weaning age is cultural.

TinkerbellesMum · 21/05/2008 23:34

applause Well put ShowOfHands!

welliemum, I've spoken to people who said where they're from weaning is from 1 and others from 2. They also say they start by allowing their LO to feed themself!

TinkerbellesMum · 21/05/2008 23:35

lolololol
raptuousapplause

TinkerbellesMum · 21/05/2008 23:36

lol try again? [rapturousapplause]

tori32 · 22/05/2008 00:24

Lots of reasons (can't stay too long cos its late btw)

  1. By 6mths babies can forcibly push food away which people may construe as them not liking it- not the case, its just something different.
  2. With baby led weaning they get most of it on the floor instead of getting the calories from all the food iyswim.
  3. I don't see the logic in increasing milk feeds to the extent that the baby spends more time eating than learning to play and do other things.
  4. They learn to eat with fingers but then refuse to eat with a spoon because they have never had one put in their mouth (ok maybe for yoghurt, but not well practiced). This happened to a colleague who has looked after 2 babies weaned this way and both had trouble eating with spoons later.
  5. Teaching children to graze all day with finger food is fine until they get to school. Then their stomachs can't hold much but they have set eating times and can't get enough calories in within these set times.
  6. Most childcare facilities would struggle to supervise all the babies eating this way, so if you want to go back to work it will make life harder for the child in the long run. They have set times for feeding as well.
  7. From personal experience I have suffered no harm from being weaned far earlier than 4mths.
  8. There appears to be far more intollerences to food/allergies to food in children now than in previous generations- my personal view is that its because they are exposed to food later.
  9. Taste doesn't develop properly until around 6mths, so by weaning at 4mths its more likely texture they don't like so you keep trying it.
10. I would consider it less of a choking hazard to have my baby used to swallowing small lumps, before biting larger amounts off and swallowing it by mistake. (I almost choked as a 7yo with the same scenario) 11. If you give finger foods at first and they throw it, then they end up not trying it, how do you establish their likes and dislikes. 12. Children will eat favourite things first and could become full up before they try everything when they have graduated onto mixed meals/ variety on one plate. By blending several veg and meat they get all nutrients required instead of selected ones.

I could go on and on but off to bed now.

TinkerbellesMum · 22/05/2008 01:22

damn, I can't type well enough on this laptop to reply and someone is going to beat me to it!

[sits back and waits for the replies]

StarlightMcKenzie · 22/05/2008 01:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jamila169 · 22/05/2008 01:37

tinks mum -I'd reply but i can't be arsed, she's proved herself to be beyong reasoning with

TinkerbellesMum · 22/05/2008 01:43

Awww, was sort of looking forward to it! I just love the facts on BLW from a nurse who has to know what she's talking about

jamila169 · 22/05/2008 01:45

the earth is flat I tell you -If it wasn't we'd all fall off!!!

StarlightMcKenzie · 22/05/2008 01:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StarlightMcKenzie · 22/05/2008 01:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn