Help! DH wants us to go vegan!

[SparePartz]

I'm not a good cook and tend to stick with what I know. I'm panicking slightly! He's watched the Netflix show and has decided we should try to eat vegan during the week.

I have some issues:
first and foremost my tea. I drink milk in my tea. We tried oat milk a while back and even he decided it wasn't great. Is there a better option?

Mushy food makes me gag. He's talking eating lentils, peas and beans. Is there any way to prepare them so they're not mushy?

We, especially DS, eat a lot of cheese and yoghurt. How do you keep a growing teenager full without cereal/milk/cheese on toast? We're not looking to try out highly processed vegan copies of non- vegan food.

I cannot eat mushrooms. Well, I can eat them but then get horrific stomach cramps a few hours later. Lots of recipes seem to be mushroom based.

How do I make sure the DC are getting all the nutrients they need as they come into and through puberty?

Nuts - hazelnuts make DC2's mouth blister, walnuts make my mouth itch and I don't like any other nuts.

Is there an idiots guide to being a vegan somewhere?

@Plastichanger yes, I spoke to the paediatrician when DC2 was younger. He said my intense dislike of all nuts is probably a natural safety mechanism. Said for DC2 we could either go total avoidance or gradual exposure.

@sprigatito That’s pretty rich considering.

What surprises me more @sprigatito is the amount of non vegans snout deep in the vegan board. 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️FFS lol

so you don’t like mushrooms, nuts, lentils, beans, chickpeas or anything that could be called a paste or considered mushy. I’m presuming you won’t like tofu as a lot of people find the texture odd.

yeah a healthy vegan diet with all those exclusions isn’t doable. I’d be surprised if your omnivore diet is. “No mushy food” is SO restrictive!

Tell him you are not that interested or inspired to do all the donkey work but he can go vegan if he wants to work it all out and cook meals and you and son will have a taster each time to see if you like it. Meanwhile you continue to eat what you want. I doubt it will last long on his part... not actually trying to be anti vegan as I am half way there myself but his cheek is astounding .

No mushy food” is SO restrictive!
Not really! The only thing there is ever a complaint about is that I never make mashed potato .

There’s a vegan chilli with sweet potato recipe on bbc good food which is great, the sweet potato breaks down but I find the kidney beans (and I tend to add another bean like black beans into it) don't go ‘mushy’ per se.

We eat largely vegan meals because my husband has ibs and can’t tolerate dairy but the rest of us will still have things like dairy cheese grated on our pasta and kids still have cows milk. Lots of Mexican type dishes can have dairy free options but easy to add in dairy. Veggie curries with tomato or coconut milk bases are great. Chunky veggies such as carrots and broccoli florets help to add some texture if you don’t cook them as long. I’ve never been able to make tinned chick peas go mushy even when I have wanted to 😂

do you find things like bolognaise with mince ‘mushy’?

So the only nights he is critical of and wants to change are the nights you have to cook?

Fuck that.

Hold on you need to eat healthier but only when you are cooking not him!

Tell him to get lost. If he wants to do it fair enough but you don't need to

Kindly stop tagging me. You clearly have nothing intelligible to say, and you've had all the attention you'll be getting from me.

I think it’s because it’s come up in the trending posts and people haven’t clocked that it’s the vegan board… I am surprised at the amount of anti vegan posts but I think it’s more the anti-husband?!

Look at the Bosh guys - they have a cookbook and website. Try to make sure you still get enough protein and you'll prob need to take b-12 supplements too x

@sprigatito Feeling is mutual!

It’s a very passively written post all about what he wants. I get this is the vegan board but that’s why you are getting the tell him to sod off posts.

if you’d have said husband has suggested and I agree but what can we make if I don’t like a , b and c you’d have got different replies. It’s like you are the paid help and an order has come in that you have to follow.

Absolutely fucking not.

Any major dietary change requires a lot of work and thought. That's fine if the person doing the work and thought wants to do it.

This is not that situation. As others have suggested, he can eat a vegan diet during the week if he wishes to, and is prepared to plan, buy and prepare the food. You and dc will continue with the diet you are comfortable with.

This has to be a joke. Where to even start?

Being vegan isn't inherently healthier. Why not eat more veg and less professed food to be healthy instead? Oat milk is no where near as healthy as milk.
As if he wants it just the days he doesn't cook. Pull the other one! Tell him you do vegan Saturdays and he can cook
Why drag you all down with him? Very unfair to your teenagers who need their nutrition

So he wants you to really restrict everyone in the household Monday to Friday. Then eat meat.

But you won’t even be allowed the milk you like for tea and coffee monday to Friday?

So what if you have some cows milk left on Monday morning? Throw it out?

Theres nothing innately healthy about a vegan diet, if he wants to eat heather why can’t he just eat healthier? Or even cut down on meat? Why does it have to completely vegan?

Is this a piss take?

He can start cooking some vegan meals if he wants to and you can see how it goes.

If he only cooks at the weekend, the vegan meals will need to be then!

He goes vegan.
He locates, creates and cooks a lot of exciting recipes that the rest of you can have a taste of and see how you like it. Then he can lead you slowly into a Whole New World including individual preferences.
That’s how exciting ideas work in my family.
We have an Omnivore, a lactose intolerant, a vegetarian and a person who likes Bland in everything.

He doesn’t just have An Idea, sit on his arse, point at you and say ‘Make It So’
It’s something small children have to learn, and now him. Just because you want something doesn’t mean mummy will fix it.

It's easy to eat healthier without restricting your diet. Just eat more whole foods to push the processed foods out of your diet. Most milk alternative drinks are UPFs and should be avoided.

By the looks of it yes, you are right.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to experiment with being vegan at the weekends, when you have more time? Then you can stick to your usual diet during the week until you are more confident with vegan meals.

Do you want to go vegan during the week OP?

If not, can you suggest DH does his own meal plans and cooking during the week? And you’ll work out your own healthy eating plan (if you want to).

OP do YOU want to give it a go? Because you’ve posted in the vegan board not AIBU so I’m assuming you’re up for it to a certain extent?

if not then I agree with other posters - if he wants the family to trial veganism he needs to be more involved and get consensus. I’m vegan and do almost all the cooking but still occasionally cook non vegan for everyone else because they don’t want to be vegan - BUT I do all the meal planning and execution with no offer of changing that from anyone else.

tbh “mushy” does incorporate a lot of vegan food (and non vegan food!) are you looking to replace the chewy texture of meat without vegan UPFs? I recently discovered fable mushrooms which are AMAZING put in curry or Mexican dishes like pulled pork without being over processed

also tempeh and tofu does have to be sloppy but I will admit it took me a while to get the hang of cooking both

maybe go for something inbetween the two - commit to 3 dinners a week being vegan and plan and cook together? It did take me a while to relearn how to cook when I made the change (and I did it pretty slowly over the course of a year or two)