Awful example of a vegan

[EezerGoode]

I've been vegan over 2 yrs..vegi for 20..ive put so much weight on going vegan..I live of crisps bread and vegan chesse..I feel utterly crap,I've no energy..my family eat well.but I skip meals so I can eat toast..I eat the same meal for weeks and weeks then never again....when I went vegan I ate jacket potato vegan chesse and salad every night for 6 months.then I moved on to vegan fishfinger sandwich every night for months,now it's toast with vegan cheese lunch and dinner..I'm 2 stone heavier than when I was vegi...I've a budget to stick to so I can't afford blueberries ,mango,salad every day.ive got in to the most awful rut and I can't get out of it..and I feel ill actually..I have to find the willpower to change,its deserting me at the moment,due to my life being quite stressful...if you have any ideas I would be glad to hear them😥

You managed to beat bulimia, all by yourself, that’s bloody amazing!

Be kind to yourself, take it one day at a time and switch out one of your toast meals a day for something else. Add in some fruit or vegetables as snacks and take it slow. Don’t try and change it all in one go or you’ll get overwhelmed.

Your diet sounds awful and is probably lacking in all sorts of things you need such as iron and b vitamins. It also sounds like you hate it. It makes no sense that you are cooking delicious vegan meals for your family and then lurking in the corner with toast?? Is that what's happening? Why don't you eat with them if they are vegan too? To start with get yourself a decent vitamin and mineral supplement, and then start eating the family meals.

Before you even mentioned your struggle with bulimia I was going to post "this is an eating disorder". I think you know that. This is way beyond veganism or even not knowing how to cook.

Would you consider seeing your GP and telling them the things you've told us in this thread?

Listen everyone.im so sorry I feel like I've wasted all yr time on this thread..I honestly didn't link the bulimia to my weird eating of toast..I just didn't..I never think about about it,I've just blocked it out.im really sorry to waste yr times xx..but yeah it's clearly that..so I just need to eat less toast ,and more fruit and veg..I actually like the idea of a mango to myself.that sounds so indulgent..and I've got vegan chocolate protein powder I bought my daughter,so I could make that smoothly

what's wrong with beans on toast with home grown salad

You don't need to cook lentils, you can get them ready in a pouch or tin. What about a basic soup to go with your toast? Tomato, minestrone, veg, lentil etc? Some vegan version of all of those that are easyish to cook.

oats are are great base for a meal and can be super cheap, add protein rich toppings which will fill you up and the batch of porridge can me made for the whole family

lentils and beans are also cheap- cheaper to buy dried versions but there is so many beans available, maybe pick up a selection of tins; kidney, butter, cannelli, bortolli etc and find which ones you like

most beans go well on toast and jacket potatoes so still something you like

Thankyou for being so nice to me ,I do appreciate it x

look up recipes on the vegan society website. Get some cookery books from the library.

if mango is too expensive to justify the cost maybe check out the frozen bags and just have a small amount each day with other things so you get a bit of lovely mango but its not expensive as buying one each day

It doesn't seem that this has anything to do with being a vegan, it seems like a psychological issue. You said you don't want to change so you won't, you need to get your head in a different space before anything will happen. Are you scared of change?

HayRoll ,yeah my dr knows all this,I got referred to Cotswold house and it panicked me so much ,the thought of it that we agreed if I stopped I wouldn't have to go.but if I start again...(.stress seems seems to trigger me off.)I've promised him I will be honest with him and go...and I will,as I was vomiting blood ,and I really did want to stop...

As others have said - lentils are lovely, and incredibly versatile, as are oats. Have a look on the BBC Good Food website for ideas - there are some vegan dishes, and many of the veggie ones can be tweaked to be made vegan. There are some fab soups.

When you find dishes you like, bulk cook and freeze. You have done so well conquering your bulimia, you really deserve better than a lifetime of lonely toast!

Yes to scared of change ,absolutely

you haven't wasted anyones time

Would thinking of yourself as in recovery from bulimia rather than not having it make you feel bad about yourself (I'm in no way saying it should by the way). Am not claiming any expertise but I would have thought having lived with bulimia for 30 years then acknowledging that it has a recovery period may be helpful to you?

Its great that you've stopped the physical aspects of bulimia within a year but perhaps the psychological underpins take longer to unpick.

Please don't think I'm trying put you back in the bulimia box so to speak - rather that perhaps seeing it as a journey to full recovery will give you the space to think about your relationship with food.

This is a definite food issue. You can cook ur but not eat it. The toast and toast alone is about control I would guess but I'm no expert. Please be kind to yourself and seek support.

A few easy food ideas if you feel able to try-

Sainsburys sell vegan burgers which are delicious and inexpensive. Have a side salad and make some sweet potato chips to go with them.

Vegan pate is widely available. Eat with vegan crackers and olives, sun dried tomatoes and pickles etc

Make porridge with coconut milk

There are lots of chilli bean meals in tins- eat with couscous or quinoa.

Vegan ice cream and berries.

Co-op sell a few preprepared vegan salads- a falafel with cauliflower houmous and bulgar wheat one which is delicious and a lemon pasta one.

If you shop at Aldi/Lidl for fruit and veg esp on their weekly offers section you can bring the price right down.

Hope you get some help and support soon x

Check out solution focussed brief therapy. Was developed through work with people struggling with drink and drugs but would work well with food issues. It is becoming mainstream but access varies, so google sfbt and where you live!

Don't for a moment think you shouldn't have posted this thread, it is a really positive thing you have achieved already just reading through it.

Most serious eating disorders are pretty long-term, chronic things. You have done fantastically well to move on from bulimia to a more stable eating pattern. Think in terms of it now being time to move to a more varied diet. Remind yourself that you are likely to end up with more energy and motivation as the balance of your diet improves.

As far as I have always understood it, to maintain health long-term on a vegan diet requires more attention to nutritional balance. That might be a route "in" depending on how your mind likes to work :) Agree with all above that more protein (and probably more fat) will be needed to get things working for you. Experiment with one or two new things bit by bit. See if you can enlist your husband to help? In the first instance maybe think about protein containing stuff you can have with toast; hoummous? mushrooms?

You are on a journey here, you've come up the first steep slope and now you're getting ready to move up the next one. Best wishes and good luck!

Wilson yes ,I suspect you may be right....just because I've stooped being sick,hasn't made it all go away...polkdot,yep it was always about control

Thanks love 51 I will take a look x

You probably have vitamin deficiencies
Get a blood test
Get a super market multi vitamin at least you know your diet is to blame so it can be improved
Tinned beans lots of different varieties available chick peas
All easy to throw in a slow cooker with tinned tomatoes veg stock cube curry powder lovely cheap vegan meal
Have a google on vegan with a budget
Frozen veg is a great cheap staple

Python,thanks..I'm actually half mortified I'm posting all this without a name change ..and half annoyed with myself that I didn't figure it out myself.

Thankyou for all yr kind words and ideas.i must put my youngest to bed..I will reply to any messages in the morning and re read this throu xthank you again x your all very kind and supportive x

You have done so well! Concentrate on the progress you have made, and don't fret about the details. Now you have recognised what the problem is, you will find it easier to address.

Hang in there, and keep posting here if you find it helps. We can talk you through some of your confusions about food. I'm glad your DH is supportive. You are nearly there, well done!