Can someone please explain a reason why adults don’t genuinely play with their kids? I feel like we owe it to them

[Parker1970]

Why is there an automatic assumption that any child would lose automatically? kis does not matter what outside type game it is. Is there a explanation as to why this happends?

When your child wants to race you at the playground on the kiddie rock wall, why is there this assumption that your child can’t actually race you? Children can climb a rock wall, why else are these on the playground? Instead it seems that grown-ups will just barely move, and act like the Kiddie wall is the hardest thing ever. Why not actually climb, and actually race your child like they are wanting you to do? The whole point of a rock wall races to see who can get to the top first.

It is the same thing when a child wants to arm wrestle with them the adult seemingly barely even does much of anything, and it is very obvious that they are just straight up letting their kid win. Why doesn’t the adult actually put in effort when they arm wrestle? Why not actually challenge your kid, the whole point of arm wrestling is to see who is stronger. If the opponent loses then they just need to provide a little bit more strength. Why is there this automatic assumption that any child would lose or not be able to play with them?

I have also noticed this when parents have a running relay race with their child. Why don’t the parents actually run? Instead they will sort of do this really awkward walking, and they end up just letting their kid win. The whole point of a running race is to see Who is going to get there first. Why not actually run and actually challenge your kid? Your child just needs to run a little bit faster next time to actually be able to win. Again, there seems to be this automatic assumption that a child can’t run, they have running tracks on the playground as well, so children can run.

If you were to play with a friend it’s not any different. Why would you automatically assume that your friend can’t play? If you’re going to arm wrestle with your friend, do it with your kid, if you’re going to run when you race your friend, do that with your kid . Same thing with Rockwall climbing on the playground with your child. Actually climb, just like you would do with your friend. Why isn’t that just because it’s a child wanting to arm wrestle or climb on the rock wall etc., most adults just come to the conclusion that they are going to lose and can’t play just because they’re a kid in elementary school?

Seriously hoping you won’t boo and shout rubbish at their first school play.

Genuinely arm wrestling a 4 year old, you’re having a laugh? Fair enough a 15 year old. A running race against a 4 year old! They’d lose interest in the whole procedure.

It’s very age and activity dependent

But let me ask you, is your child running their absolute best? Like are they actually trying? How do you know that your child is trying your best when running? How do you know that your child is trying their best when bringing in groceries?

When they are challenged for example it might be different. I mean how vastly could the difference in running speed or strength, arm wrestling/rock rock climbing, possibly be?

This thread is insane. Have you ever actually met any children @Parker1970 ? You seem oblivious to what they are physically and mentally capable of.

Also, imagine racing against the worlds fastest man, again and again and again. You know you have no way of possibly beating them. Would that be fun or not?

Nobody gets anything out of being beaten relentlessly by someone with no hope of winning.

Ok,.now I know you're just being weird. I searched your previous posts and you started a thread about how little kids obviously can't walk as quickly as adults and we should be slowing down to accommodate that.

So what the hell is this thread about then?

I don’t play physical games with the DGC. What is the point of beating them, when an adult is bigger and stronger, although they can outrun us any day! IMO, it’s a bit pathetic?

We play pretend games with them like Barbies, or “teachers”; board games; Hot Wheels (racing them) or building stuff with Lego.

Who TAF would expect their 2 year old to “try their best” when “bringing in groceries”?

Do you have children?

If you don’t, you need therapy before you do. In fact, if you do, you need therapy even more.

I’d let my 3 year old win at everything and anything against me but at sports day teach her that her friends can also win etc. I would however put a bit of effort in at the age 13, common sense. this post is daft

Oh and you've done this before. Started a thread about how we should get down to our kids level and then another thread asking why people talk about getting down to a kid's level.

What's your game exactly @Parker1970 ?

Yes I thought so. Didn't even search the OP.

Weirdo threads.

Are you being deliberately obtuse? I'm 100% confident that I can beat my small children in lots of things. No amount of 'trying a bit harder' is going to make a normal 4 or 2 year old win at arm wrestling against an able bodied adult because they don't have the physical strength necessary to win.

Like most reasonable adults, I adapt my approach depending on the game and mix winning and losing. I don't try my hardest every time because it likely discourage them from playing, wouldn't be fun for them, and in some scenarios, could physically hurt them.

It’s about attention seeking and seeing how long a random topic can be dragged out for - that what it’s about. OP is bored and quite frankly not quite right in the head.

But let me ask you, is your child running their absolute best? Like are they actually trying? How do you know that your child is trying your best when running? How do you know that your child is trying their best when bringing in groceries?
😂

I'd love to know your success criteria for evaluating how well groceries are brought in 🤣

Of course children aren't performing routinely at their "absolute best". How could they? And why would you even consider this as a possibility.

You’ve chosen the stupidest version of your argument (a very winnable one, done right) and advanced it in the stupidest possible way.

😂

This is getting frustrating to read. This is the oddest thread. You have not mentioned age of the children and of course that has an massive impact. If your racing a 5 year old Vs an adult then of course the adult is likely to win ( bar exceptions) they are bugger, stronger, faster etc that's not an assumption. In most cases it's fact. You might have a point when the child is older. In These cases it will depend wholly on the child and adult in question. The race or any activity only becomes fun in competitiveness when the abilities are closer together. It's absolutely no fun just to run ahead of a child and beat them by a mile every time. Again... This is not an assumption..children are (generally) slower and weaker than adults.

I make the assumption that my child would not win against me because she is a puny wee blighter of 4 and I’m a hulking great 45-year-old.

Surely that’s obvious

This person has a serious fixation about weird things between children and adults.

I thought it was probably you, and now it has been confirmed I'm out; I'm not playing this game with you.

Yeah, I've reported it

I've just seen another thread by OP and at least she answers my question about success criteria for unloading groceries 🤣 its being able to lift a gallon of milk 😂😂

Possibly the strangest thread I've read on my ,albeit short, time on Mumsnet. I just can't quite figure out the motivation behind it

This has got to be a wind up. Even if you have no experience looking after children you could surely see that a 2 year old doesn't have anything close the strength and speed of an adult.

But what I’m saying is even kids that are seven years old, that whole age range really from toddler throughout all of elementary school, adults seem to just let kids win without even giving them a challenge. Not just two-year-olds

Not in my experience they don't.

Do you have children? Do you work with children?

They get better by getting older - and that happens by itself at a slow pace, you can't rush children into things they aren't developmentally ready for as they will just hate it and struggle.

So the adults just have to get their fun by using their skills in the meantime by controlling exactly how, when and how often the child wins against them, in order that the child has any fun at all (as losing all the time isn't fun) and to encourage the child to keep playing so that when that developmental leap occurs they are already familiar with the game and ready to take it to the next level.

Parenting in general does require a certain amount of setting one's ego aside, and modeling how to be a good loser for your 5yr old who definitely wants to crow when they sometimes beat you is a part of that.