Can someone please explain a reason why adults don’t genuinely play with their kids? I feel like we owe it to them

[Parker1970]

Why is there an automatic assumption that any child would lose automatically? kis does not matter what outside type game it is. Is there a explanation as to why this happends?

When your child wants to race you at the playground on the kiddie rock wall, why is there this assumption that your child can’t actually race you? Children can climb a rock wall, why else are these on the playground? Instead it seems that grown-ups will just barely move, and act like the Kiddie wall is the hardest thing ever. Why not actually climb, and actually race your child like they are wanting you to do? The whole point of a rock wall races to see who can get to the top first.

It is the same thing when a child wants to arm wrestle with them the adult seemingly barely even does much of anything, and it is very obvious that they are just straight up letting their kid win. Why doesn’t the adult actually put in effort when they arm wrestle? Why not actually challenge your kid, the whole point of arm wrestling is to see who is stronger. If the opponent loses then they just need to provide a little bit more strength. Why is there this automatic assumption that any child would lose or not be able to play with them?

I have also noticed this when parents have a running relay race with their child. Why don’t the parents actually run? Instead they will sort of do this really awkward walking, and they end up just letting their kid win. The whole point of a running race is to see Who is going to get there first. Why not actually run and actually challenge your kid? Your child just needs to run a little bit faster next time to actually be able to win. Again, there seems to be this automatic assumption that a child can’t run, they have running tracks on the playground as well, so children can run.

If you were to play with a friend it’s not any different. Why would you automatically assume that your friend can’t play? If you’re going to arm wrestle with your friend, do it with your kid, if you’re going to run when you race your friend, do that with your kid . Same thing with Rockwall climbing on the playground with your child. Actually climb, just like you would do with your friend. Why isn’t that just because it’s a child wanting to arm wrestle or climb on the rock wall etc., most adults just come to the conclusion that they are going to lose and can’t play just because they’re a kid in elementary school?

Can’t be arsed?

Not sure where these assumptions are coming from? Is this your own experience?

This is so dumb.

This makes zero sense

TLDNR

I have a feeling I know where this is going to go.

Anyone who asks this question is just really, really stupid. Or being silly for the sake of it. Or is a creep.

I hope for all our sakes it's the first. Although that's not so great for you.

It’s pretty much a fair assumption that you’d beat your kid in an arm wrestle. If you beat them every single time they’ll become deflated and stop wanting to play.

And if you didn’t hold back while wrestling them you could end up killing them!

I don’t really understand this thread.

What's elementary school?

Age of the child makes a difference. Any 10yo could beat me in a race but it would be a dick move for me to use my relative size and strength to win over a 3yo.

But you’re doing it right there. Why are you making the assumption that you would win every single time? Why wouldn’t you genuinely play?

Because I’m massively stronger, with much longer legs than a six year old.

In fact, I’d beat them all. Line ‘em up and watch me snap their puny wrists.

I don't let my kids win

💪

My 11yo can beat me at front crawl in a swimming race now ( but not at breast stroke!) letting them win is hit and miss I think?!

But it’s not like that for just arm wrestling. It could be anything really. Isn’t it the same thing as playing with a friend? You would genuinely play basketball or tag or what have you with them, so why not with your kid? Why not withseemingly any kid? What I’m getting it is it doesn’t seem to matter the age of the Child or the game, if it is played between a child and a adult, the adult doesn’t seem to really engage.

Because adults are bigger and stronger than kids so will auto win
Not very encouraging
Because it's imaginative and funny for the kids as they know adults are half arsing it
Because kids ask to race every 5 minutes and no-one can be arsed

I play to win at board and card games, chess, thumb wars etc
Kids older now. Sometimes I used to actually run and beat my littles at races just to show them good sportsmanship. But not everytime. Are you genuinely incapable of context and nuance?

Tbh I’m disabled so i wouldn’t engage in something physical with a friend either, but I’d guess that most people wouldn’t be too physical with a child a) for fear of hurting them physically or b) because it’s cruel to keep beating them at something when you’ve got a massive physical advantage.

Connect 4 on the other hand - I’ll give 110% against the little ‘uns every time. No prisoners.

Do you have children?

Developmentally my mind is more advanced to beat my DD every time at something like board games. I’m stronger and faster, although she can definitely hold her distance more with physical racing

I play but in a balanced way that encourages her to keep trying, win some lose some. If she lost every time it would destroy her confidence and moral, she would then never want to compete.

You’re asking what’s the difference between playing a competitive game with my 2 year old and my adult friend?

Obviously size, strength, skill etc etc etc. You can’t have not realised that much.

But fundamentally, the difference is motivation. With my 2yo, the aim is nurture, building relationship, providing fun, teaching, early experiences, building trust etc. A genuine competition with an adult friend, my aim would be testing my own abilities and having fun, not nurturing them.

Are you a parent? Uncle? Older brother?

You are saying that she would lose every time, why are you saying that, you’re making that assumption? Wouldn’t she just have to try a little bit harder when racing, or for instance, climb a little bit faster on the rock wall or put in a little bit more strength and arm wrestling? I’m a little confused how it’s balancing it out when you are straight up letting your child win without even seemingly doing much of anything in terms of giving them a challenge. Wouldn’t the challenge be for them to genuinely win?

You are saying that she would lose every time, why are you saying that, you’re making that assumption? Wouldn’t she just have to try a little bit harder when racing, or for instance, climb a little bit faster on the rock wall or put in a little bit more strength and arm wrestling? I’m a little confused how it’s balancing it out when you are straight up letting your child win without even seemingly doing much of anything in terms of giving them a challenge. Wouldn’t the challenge be for them to genuinely win?

You are saying that she would lose every time, why are you saying that, you’re making that assumption? Wouldn’t she just have to try a little bit harder when racing, or for instance, climb a little bit faster on the rock wall or put in a little bit more strength and arm wrestling? I’m a little confused how it’s balancing it out when you are straight up letting your child win without even seemingly doing much of anything in terms of giving them a challenge. Wouldn’t the challenge be for them to genuinely win?

You are saying that she would lose every time, why are you saying that, you’re making that assumption? Wouldn’t she just have to try a little bit harder when racing, or for instance, climb a little bit faster on the rock wall or put in a little bit more strength and arm wrestling? I’m a little confused how it’s balancing it out when you are straight up letting your child win without even seemingly doing much of anything in terms of giving them a challenge. Wouldn’t the challenge be for them to genuinely win?

I’ve played tennis with small children. Should I whack the ball at them hard so it hurts? So that it sails high above their heads?
Thats no fun for anyone.
I’m very engaged, it’s hard work to play at the right level so they have fun and practice skills. We’re not playing for wins anyway, just running about having a laugh.

But if you can literally run two or three times as fast as a small child, of course you’ll win every time. It’s not an unreasonable assumption.