Children chalking over our land

[Charliec12]

Hi all, am I over reacting? My neighbours brought their children some chalks at the weekend. The children are chalking everywhere with them including on my driveway which we half share with them. My OH said to one of the children tonight that the area looked a mess. Said child started crying and then the Mum came out and was confrontational and annoyed with me that I don’t agree with it looking nice in the area. I also have 2 young children and I get they want to have fun.

I really don't think it's the chalk per se that's upset her, rather the fact the kids have been on her property and chalked over it.
Think the parents should've made sure the kids stayed in their half, and op and her husband could have handled their annoyance better (although he has apologised so fair enough)

Also, op, you say the mum was 'gobby'. - what exactly did she say? Hopefully it's all been sorted now as, whilst I agree the kids shouldn't have been on your property, chalk isn't worth falling out with the neighbours over.

I’m fine with chalk on the ground, I will happily tolerate it.
it was when the neighbours kids chalked all over the full side of our house, that’s when I was annoyed. This was pre kids. Now I wouldn’t be so annoyed

What a miserable person. I bet your kids were safely tucked up on screens where they belong?

I'm glad this is all you have to woncwrn yourself with though OP. Imagine if you had actual problem neighbours

When I read 'chalking over our land' I was immediately intrigued. Honestly, 'our land'.

She may have used the term jointly owned but the term is vague and without seeing the deeds you have no idea legally what it means as all deeds are different and mean different things. How is that difficult for people to comprehend? The OP has already outlined this in an earlier post so I stand by what I have said based on the fact that the OP knows what her deeds entail because it’s you know, her property that she owns. Hardly unwise to say that people should teach their children to stay on their own boundary. In fact, it’s very wise in order for people to maintain cordial relations. The facts here are about basic manners and respect which people seem to be hugely lacking these days. I said nothing about an access dispute? Which is a legal process that I’ve not once suggested initiating.

So instead of trying to derail the thread by starting an argument stating things people haven’t said, why don’t you move along without comment and not waste both of our time. Thanks, have a great day.

Edit: In fact she didn’t even use the term jointly owned, she just said half shared which is even more vague. Stop putting words into peoples mouths, it’s just plain rude.

Your husband raised his voice at children. He could have spoken to their mother and she would have sorted it out. Do you know if they own their house?

@Charliec12 @Dumdeedahdumdeedo gonna throw a bone to the OP here. I have a very sensitive child. If I caught him doing something which I was unhappy about, but he hadn't realised he'd done/hadn't known it was a bad thing, and I even so much as expressed surprise or disappointment he would have been in tears or at least sad/worried because he gets very upset whenever anyone is less than happy.

For example...if he was colouring with paint sticks and had gone off the page onto the table a bit and I said 'Uh oh there's paint on the table!' he would be very likely to look at me in horror and be extremely apologetic, even though I hadn't raised my voice or anything.

The other day I stubbed my toe and yelled OW and my kids both started crying! Hadn't yelled at them in any way, but I'd raised my voice which startled them and they got upset.

Doesn't mean that they don't ever have their behaviour corrected. However it's not a completely alien notion that an adult outside of the family/less well known to a child could have come out of the house and said 'oh my goodness look at this mess!!' or something and caused a child of a sensitive disposition/a small child to be upset.

I think it’s so mean to complain or say something nasty about that!!! It washes off in the rain ffs

The laughing emoji usage is making you come off so unsympathetic, OP.

Posters: it seems an overreaction on the part of your DP to raise his voice to a child about a bit of chalk?

You: 😂😃😅

Because it's soooooo hilarious to make a child feel terrible about putting some washable chalk on a shared driveway?

@ForestForever I didn't put words in your mouth but was correcting the assertion that join ownership is irrelevant. Also it's not guessing on the types of ownership just looking at the likely pattern - what alternative structure for ownership do you think exists. I didn't mention a boundary dispute at all that is genuinely putting words in someone's text, there are all sorts of disputes and they all need to be disclosed on sale. Also pretty unpleasant way to live.

That would be lovely of you!

I'm sure if will give the children lots of good memories!

The council wont say anything they want to encourage free play. It's chalk they know it will wash away they're not stupid.

Yes, you are overreacting.

What a misery guts op seriously

You look down on them so feel you can treat them how ever you see fit.

If serious (schools are out) yes you are over-reacting. Wait until they are kicking their ball at your wall.

Look there is a reason OP didn’t put a poll on this.

it would clearly and numerically show she is unreasonable.
she isn’t prepared to accept she is anything but right…

The fact this was posted under toys and games tickles me.

On your property, fair enough a polite, quiet word directly to the parents could have put an end to this.

But you've got issues with kids chalking on the pavement? In a play area? This smacks of a control thing.

Well it is, sort of, as you got all pissy about them chalking on the playground pavement as well as the SHARED drive.

You are very much unreasonable, as is your miserable git of a DH who made next door's kids cry for drawing with chalk on the drive. Cry, ffs.

When you share a drive it gets used by both houses. Usually for driving and parking, in this case for drawing in chalk. Neither are antisocial uses of the land.

It has no commonality with the little girl taking roses - that's taking away the flowers the OP had grown herself, meaning she couldn't enjoy them. The driveway stil exists for your use, whether or not it has chalk on it.

The children didn't go past any fences, did they? So far as they were concerned, this is a driveway that their parents use, so they had no means of knowing that it was your land.

If your husband is shocked by a bit of chalk, he must have major conniptions when a bird or a squirrel poos on your garden.

Wow. No, the majority of people really don't think it is "disrespectful" for children to chalk on public play areas or shared driveways that technically belong to their neighbour (yes, we get it, it's YOUR land). And the majority really do think it is absolutely awful for a grown man to make neighbour children cry by loudly saying what a mess in a cross tone, about said chalking.

But you're clearly not here to take on board anybody's opinions or do anything but state why in fact you and your husband are reasonable and the neighbours (including the little kids!) are being "disrespectful". So not sure what the point of the thread is.

Man traps.