NC
I have lots of different groups of friends. We arrange to meet up every few weeks, always in the eve. Never a whole day thing, unless a special occasion. And never on a Saturday night. That's prime DH/ family time imo and these friends seemingly have the same mindset. Which is perfect for all of us. We might exchange a few "how are you" type of messages inbetween meet ups. I really love these meet ups with these different groups of friends and the timings of our meet ups and level of contact. Its not super intense. We're there for each other when needed.
And then there is my friendship with A...
... A will message every day, regardless of the time. Later in the week she will ask what im doing at the weekend. She asks this every weekend. This could be a polite "just asking/showing an interest" thing ... or could be fishing to see what time i have free. I always feel it's the later and that I'm having to justify my time. Admittedly, I purposely make my plans sound like I have zero free time all weekend to meet up. Its not that I don't want to see A, but I don't want a whole day out - which is what she can like to do - when it's not a special occasion eg birthday. I rarely want a saturday night out with A as that's my DH/ family time. If i told her this, I think she would be upset. I would see A for a coffee at the weekend, but she then tries to stretch that out for as many hours as she possibly can. A is single. She works FT and has a lot going on generally. A is someone who has to have plans for every hour of the day esp weekend. cannot bear to alone, ever, and cannot do anything alone and has no hobbies.
I now probably sound like a complete selfish bitch and terrible friend. But as I've got older - I'm 52 - I just want to be at home most weekends, in my comfies, away from busy/crowds/noise/people places and interspersed with the occasional 5m run, alone.