Would you think better of her for staying with him or leaving?

[Impic]

I think this is what they call a retorical question but if you knew someone who had a boyfriend who had a pregnant ex and she knew he was neglecting the baby after it's birth to be with her but there would be no way for their relationship to work if he didn't. But then it turned out he hadn't actually split up properly with his ex and he was letting the relationship drift apart but she didn't get it and felt mistreated would you think better of the woman you knew if she stayed with her boyfriend or if she left him after she found out the real situation with his ex?

I think I would think better of her and him as well if she stayed with him because that would show they really were in love and they weren't causing harm for no reason.

Erm she should split with him , he has a pregnant ex , but then not actually an ex . He should be concentrating on the fact he is about to become a dad not starting another relationship.

Depends on who the ex is.

A one night stand resulting in an unfortunate pregnancy, I wouldn't think anything of the bloke being with someone else 9mths later. I would find it pretty unsurprising if he didn't have anything to do with the child either. I would expect him to pay maintenance

However, if this was a planned pregnancy in a committed relationship, and he's then fucked off with some other woman some time between the conception and birth, I'd be thinking he was an absolute piece of work. And on the basis he'd allowed the ex to proceed with a pregnancy on the impression he was going to be a present father, then any new woman saying effectively, you can't be with me if you see that kid, is as much of a piece of work as he is.

Unless you are 14 then the concept of staying with a twat who has no moral standards to prove you are truly 'in love' is a stupid thing to even consider.

Who would want to go out with a manchild who can't decide if he wants to be with the mother of his child and treats her with such disrespect? I would have no respect for him or the new girlfriend.

Is the correct answer.

And why does 'showing you're in love' prove anything?

So you're the other woman, your 'boyfriend is still with the mother of his young baby, he treats her badly, him seeing you means that he is neglecting his baby.

I think badly of you for staying in this shit show.

I would not think better of her for choosing a vile loser for a partner. Why does she want to be with a man who doesn’t have the balls to end a relationship and who ignores his new born child for any reason? Don’t be as fool to think real love makes a person become an arse to others.

Id think the new woman a fool for staying with him. It's just kicking the can down the road pain wise in my opinion.

You can break up straight away and ne sad about it or you can be sad a bit later when you're in the relationship with all the baggage and lack of trust.

If their really in love then they didn't mean to hurt anyone but they just had to be together.

Are you 15??

I think I just threw up a bit.

You mean a hypothetical question, not rhetorical.

With the information given I would recommend that she dumps him immediately.

1. he’s cheating on her.
2. a man who neglects his child is despicable.

She might love him, but he doesn’t love her (see point 1)

Take it from someone who has been married for nearly 30 years, love is not enough, you need someone you can trust, someone who will stay faithful, someone who works hard to meet his commitments.

Saying “oh but we are in love is not an excuse for behaving badly.

Is this about you OP?

He should be a good father first and then find someone who can date a father without him having to neglect his child.

They aren't in love though... he has 2 women on the go and a baby on the way. He couldn't give a toss about anyone but himself.

All it would prove is that she's willing to overlook awful behaviour. Doesn't matter that she wasn't the one being left, she's seen how he's willing to treat a woman he's supposed to be committed to.

So he doesn’t have the balls to end one thing before starting another, the other woman is blaming her for “not getting it” and he’s neglecting his new born child. And you think this prince is a prize to be squabbled over? Get some self respect and move on.

Obviously leaving. Staying I would think she was thick as pitch. It doesn’t prove they were ‘really in love’ because the whole thing was built on a lie.

Love is a series of choices not an ungovernable force. If you love a wanker once you know he’s a wanker it just means you’re a wanker too.

That is utterly pathetic

Everyone seems to be disagreeing with me about it being better if they stay together.

Don't you think it would be worse if they split up and he'd hurt his ex and neglected his baby for nothing?

Wow.

I was gonna say, well who would possibly vote "think mroe of her" but turns out it's the op!

No, because now he can stop neglecting the child he helped create, grow the f up and be a Dad

Why can't he be with you and see good kid op?

They can't be that in love if he has already lied and cheated on her.