Would you think better of her for staying with him or leaving?

[Impic]

I think this is what they call a retorical question but if you knew someone who had a boyfriend who had a pregnant ex and she knew he was neglecting the baby after it's birth to be with her but there would be no way for their relationship to work if he didn't. But then it turned out he hadn't actually split up properly with his ex and he was letting the relationship drift apart but she didn't get it and felt mistreated would you think better of the woman you knew if she stayed with her boyfriend or if she left him after she found out the real situation with his ex?

I think I would think better of her and him as well if she stayed with him because that would show they really were in love and they weren't causing harm for no reason.

I couldn’t respect a man who gets people pregnant carelessly then abandons his responsibilities.

I would be distressed to be the reason why anyone was neglecting their tiny baby.

He has shown “the friend” what he’s capable of. She would be foolish if she thinks he’s going to suddenly become a decent guy just because they’re “in love”. In fact, he’s done the opposite!

In short I’d run a mile, and anyone with half a brain would get over the flattery of a new relationship and do the same.

He is absolutely not going to step up and change. Run.

I'm the OP.

I can't sign in and had to make a new account to reply.

People are saying his ex wouldn't let him have a relationship with the baby but let's say she does and him and his girlfriend help look after the baby.

I'm not saying the ex should be happy for them or anything but wouldn't it be easier for her to know that he wasn't seeing someone else just because but because he couldn't help falling in love with someone else.

I really, really hope this is a hypothetical (not rhetorical) situation.

The new girlfriend should leave him because he's a cheat and a rubbish father.

He should concentrate on his baby and reflect on what an arsehole he is so he can hopefully become a decent father and if he ever gets another girlfriend he can treat her better.

It's not really about thinking well or badly of the current partner. Splitting up with the man wouldn't make him a faithful partner to the mother of his baby or a good father to the child. What she has to decide is whether she wants to be with him, can trust him, can support him in being there for his child and so on.

I think you're right.

The OP shouldn't be worrying about what other people think of her relationship (assuming this is about her) but whether or not she can be happy with this man after what he's done.

I don't think I could be, but maybe OP is different.

Oh dear

Why oh dear?

Why does he have to neglect his baby? That is disgusting

You'd hope that a new father would prioritise his baby instead of thinking with his dick.

You are thinking about this backwards.

Nothing is more important than a father having a relationship with his child.

A good man, would prioritise his child’s well being above everything else.

Your approach seems to be “we must be a star-crossed love for the ages” but the reason you want to think of it that way is the alternative is that you’ve been sleeping with a common garden cheat and deadbeat dad.

No mother is going to be happy leaving her baby with the OW.

If I used the language I’d like to about any woman who would do this to a woman who has just given birth, my post would be deleted but nothing you can say is going to give me any sort of favourable opinion of her except possibly her removing herself from the scene and letting the parents work out some sort of decent co-parenting relationship.

For the avoidance of all doubt, I don’t like the father either but a. he needs to step up and be a decent father (and step one is dumping his side piece) and b. you are asking about actions said bit on the side should take.

He just can't be in two places at once.

What if he's not thinking with his dick but it's his only chance of happiness?

Could he be a good father if hes miserable?

Doesn't he deserve to be with someone he's really in love with?

Starting to think you're beyond hope.

Oh FFS are you 12 or just stupid?? “Only chance of happiness”?!

Grow up. Still time to rethink those matching neck tattoos….

He’s not her ‘boyfriend’, she’s just the other woman. If they split up he’d stay with his girlfriend and child. If the girlfriend found out and kicked him out, he’d run to the side piece and stay with her until such time he did the same thing to her.