Should I pause my pension contributions while money is very tight?

[ThePoisedOpalBird]

I am due to return to my 2 day week part time job in January. Money is super super tight with around £150 'spare' each month due to lots of debt.

I only earn about 12.5k a year so my pension contribution is about £30 per month. Am I better off not contibuting that £30 and putting it towards our living costs/debt?

Everyone says how important it is to contribute to a pension but at £30 it doesn't feel worth contibuting it and would be better used for living costs or debt?

Just want some opinions as I feel very stressed about money and I want to do the right thing.

Have you tried contacting step change about consolidating your debt? That could reduce monthly outgoings.

Its all been consolidated as much as it can be but 40k+ is a lot of debt so only so much we can do.

@ThePoisedOpalBird
I find your thread very worrying as your financial life seems so precarious. You are like a bird building a fragile nest, but half your twigs belong to someone else…If the wind came along in the form of job losses or relationship breakdown you could be in real trouble. I am not saying that to be critical or unhelpful, but because it is concerning.

Your debt is…significant. I would take any debt advice that you can and look into bankruptcy. There are some threads on here about the process and it could give you a fresh start.

Are there any charities in the local area that might provide grants or financial help for working families? Sometimes there are grants made from the estate of a generous person who wrote a will hundreds of years ago and charities are literally trying to give this money away to people who fit the criteria! Also if you have any family members in a traditional trade, like grocer, printer or perhaps in the armed forces, there may be a related benevolent fund. I realise that this may feel uncomfortable but if you qualify for support, you should take it. There is one near me that helps families with small grants for white goods or school uniform.

Could you apply for social housing?

Please for all that is good and precious, keep paying into your pension.

You might lose out on an employers match. You’ll probably never start again.

Unfortunately due to our household income we aren't in a position for me to go bankrupt and frankly I wouldn't want to unless we couldn't put food on the table.

We can afford to pay our bills and pay the debt payments there just isnt really anything left over which makes me a bit nervous. Hopefully one day I will be able to find a full time job.

Social housing isn't an option due to our income and even if it was I would much rather it went to those who need it rather than it just making my life easier. There are people who can't afford to put food on the table and they need social housing much much more than we do.

Thank you for your suggestions though.

I am going to keep paying it although it seems pointless to me but I will accept the wisdom of mumsnet on this matter.

@ThePoisedOpalBirdoh good decision. Keep paying it for as long as you possibly can, hopefully you’ll never need to stop.

Get yourself along to your local library for some fun, free things to do with your little one. Maybe if you could give a rough idea of location the MN hive mind would know of fun and free things to do!

Its only £30 a month so shouldn't be a need to stop.

Not an issue finding things to do we mainly just have to be outside and I have some annual passes for forest and zoo. DS just gets bored and needs to run around a lot but hes at nursery for some of the week thankfully so we will just trek the 3 hour round trip to the zoo in the winter on the days he is at home if the weather is crap as they have soft play there at least.

Their wages go into one account so it’s the sane thing. If she’s contributing £1700 and the childcare bill is £1600 plus car costs the joint account is not breaking even.
He’s not a high earner so everything else comes out if his contribution.
Currently although her wages are low , her contribution to the joint account is just that.

Thank you for understanding. I feel like it must seem odd to most on mumsnet that we aren't married but completely combine our finances.

Glad to hear you’re continuing to pay into your pension. With the employer contribution it is definitely worth it.

It might be worth talking to your local Citizens Advice to see if there is anything additional you could be claiming to help with day to day expenses if things are extremely tight financially.

Also, if your debt was reviewed and consolidated some time ago and your circumstances have changed since, this may be worth revisiting if it would help for the payments to reduce temporarily.

Everyone insisting OP must get married so she can claim half DP’s pension keep missing the point that the DP’s pension is tiny and not likely to grow significantly anytime soon because he cannot afford to pay much into it.

He works in an industry that is not particularly well paid. Retail managers who manage very large stores in areas like London earn decent amounts but outside of that it is not a lucrative career and he is likely to be earning just a bit more than NMW. Aside from that, OP does not want to get married which is a good enough reason enough in itself. It’s bonkers and infantilising to tell her she should throw herself into marrying someone she doesn’t want just so she can get her hands on some theoretical sum of money when they divorce.

The DP is working 6 days a week, took on a chunk of OP’s debt which he paid off via a loan in his name and puts all his income into a single pot. I don’t think financial abuse is an accusation we can level at this guy. The fact he is ‘fairly incompetent’ with the boys to the extent OP cannot leave them with him for a day is of course shit although we don’t know what that incompetence actually looks like. To be honest I get the impression OP wouldn’t want to work more days at this stage even if she could leave them (this is not a criticism).

Thank you for your post. Although I feel the need to correct your impression of retail management pay. We do not live in london and my partner is on 55-60k with bonuses so more than double the NMW. Just incase you ever meet someone in retail management I didn't want you to just assume they earned just above NMW.

He is 100% not financially abusive so thank you.

A lot of that advice came before OP updated to let us know about his financial position. Generally speaking, having children with someone and working very part-time, sacrificing your pension and savings, is not advisable if you are not married. It's not said to infantalise OP, it's just that a lot of us on here has seen this situation many times before. A relationship breaks down and the woman is left with the majority of the childcare and the vast minority of family funds. It's a known trap, but not everyone considers it when they are young.

Apologies for assumptions about the wages. A relative manages a retail store outside of London, works insane hours and is on £34k plus a small bonus which works out a relatively low hourly rate. I was assuming something similar. £60k is decent depending on where you live but obviously with nursery fees, 2 DC, rent and debt to service it is not going to go as far.