do you think if you get good news a person who loves you should always be happy for you?

[hepping]

do you think if you get good news a person who loves you should always be happy for you?

Are there exceptions?

My current situation is a person i am close to doesn't seem too supportive that i've had a lot of viewings for my home because they struggled to sell theirs a few years ago. Is this a red flag?

Perhaps after the negetive experience it makes them less interested or care to know the stages of the sale of the house...personally I wouldnt care either.

Are you always this dramatic?

i guess i have noticed a pattern with this person. It's not a romantic partner.

That when i have small bits of good news, they are not happy for me. They are happy for big good news like an engagement. But if i am up for promotion, get good viewing numbers on my flat, or book a holiday then i sense slight tension and malice.

I will leave feeling that 'ugh' feeling when someone has rained on your parade

This post is not really abut the viewings situation, more that is it a red flag if you get good news and someone you care about doesn't seem supportive.

@GoodGirlFaith i think your example shows your mum was in good faith. i don't feel the good faith in my situation

They are right that it’s offers that count rather than viewings, and they might think you are being naive. However that was a very snippy way to reply when they could have just said that’s great. They sound rather bitter.

But none of that is what I would consider “good news” - it’s just life 🤔

This post is not really abut the viewings situation, more that is it a red flag if you get good news and someone you care about doesn't seem supportive.

In your particular case I'd say no, it isn't.

Making a mountain out of a mole heap.
Not everyone is going to gush over everything you do.

Sorry but you need to grow up.

@hepping sounds like you have a frenemy. I wouldn't discount your gut reaction. They might not want to be mean but they could equally be a bit jealous if your life is going well and theirs isn't.

Human nature means you can be tired, worrying about something else etc and someone else’s excitement washes over you. Currently getting holiday pictures from a lot of people as I struggle at home with work and sickness and I’m trying to fake enthusiasm because I’m just too tired to be happy for others.

Also if you’re very enthusiastic and it might not happen people can rightly or wrongly be trying to keep a level head for you

They are clearly happy for the important things like engagements. That’s good.

But the other stuff… Being up for promotion – not the same as getting promotion. Not sure what they could say apart from perhaps, ‘good luck’?

The viewings thing is rather weird. I’m really not sure why you think this is some sort of achievement that should be congratulated.

Holidays: I’m not interested in anybody else’s holiday. I don’t think that makes me a bad friend.

Obviously, I don’t know your friend, or you. But I think perhaps you have been excited about getting so many viewings, and your friend is trying to warn you that this doesn’t necessarily translate into a good offer. Perhaps she doesn’t want you to be disappointed.

Maybe your friend is fed up of hearing about it.

Speaking from my own experience, my circle of friends/family were very interested and regularly asked me about if I had had viewings etc . Your friend sounds abit mean

Viewings DO mean something as you won't get a sale without viewings 🙄 the more viewings you have, the better chance you will have of selling your house faster.

It sounds like this person is a realist and you're a bit of a romanticist.

They're happy for the big things like an engagement because it's actually happening.

Equally, the fact you've booked a holiday will mean nothing but they'll probably be interested to hear how it went, when it actually takes place.

You can't have got to adulthood without realising that people react differently to things that may/may not happen and things that actually have happened.

I do think it takes little to be supportive.

When they booked a holiday I showed enthusiasm and asked questions and they gladly told me all about it.

When i booked a holiday they said 'good for you, I can't afford one'

Well the 'I can't afford one' is a bit of a drip-feed.

If it's actually true, then they sound a bit selfish.

People don't always say what you want them to. That's life and makes things richer.

Non issue

It goes both ways. If you know your friend struggled to sell her house, why boast that you are in the top 10% of viewings? Maybe wait until she asks how it's going and say 'lots of viewings but no offers yet' which is a fairly normal response.

Supportive about what, though?

True, perhaps the same could be said about the holiday when she knows her friend can't afford one.

Two sides to everything I guess.

she had been on a holiday 6 months before so i didn't think it was touchy.

And she sold her flat a few years ago, so it didn't cross my mind she would be sensitive.

But if its the case, all my wins seem to trigger her.

So do i distance myself from her?

While I agree they don't sound great if someone tells me they've booked a holiday I probably just say 'oh nice, where to'? I don't think it requires more. I certainly don't see it as a win.
Tbh, you both sound (to coin a phrase) hard work.

The people that are always happy for me are my family as I am always happy for them. I have one legacy friend who gets eaten up with jealousy if I have any good fortune. She thinks she’s a friend but she isn’t. I’m fully aware of what motivates this so I’m now withdrawing.

Is it someone who tends to be a bit "woe is me"? I've known a few people like that, always felt hard done by and if you said anything positive or shared some good news in a conversational way they'd always retort bitterly with a negative comment of some kind. To my mum: "this is the house were moving to" - her: "why on earth would you want to live somewhere without a driveway, i would hate that". My SIL would ask where we were going on holiday and then huff and say "oh I would hate to go THERE" but truth was she couldn't usually afford a holiday at all.

Or it could be (possibly) that you're a bit show-offy? And they get fed up with being expected to be all celebratory about every little thing? Fo you talk about yourself a lot and not show much interest in him/her? That can be very wearing.

Or somewhere in the middle. They don't want you to get too excited if you're being unrealistic in case you're disappointed. I have to do this with my young adult son sometimes. He gets hyperfocused on an opportunity and what it could lead to (as if it's a certainty) and then feels crushed if things don't work out. I try to say "that sounds interesting but try to find out more before you make too many assumptions". He has told me I'm too negative but a couple of times he has said ok you were right.