Husband spied on me through bathroom and bedrooms doors in the past and concerned somethings happening again

[Pitterpatterruby]

I’ve never spoken of this, but I caught my husband spying on me one evening in the bathroom through a small hole he had made with a small screw. He denied it at first, but never truly admitted it but apologised, I also discovered he had also made holes in the bedroom door.
we moved on, but one evening he was watching a video, he made the effort to close it as soon as I entered the room, he denied it was anything and made an excuse, I assumed he had been looking at porn. But, he seems to know when I’ve been in a certain draw in our bedroom as he said his clothes get moved (it’s where I keep my sex toy, sorry tmi), he seemed to know I had used it, even though it would have been incredibly hard for him to know. I have started suspecting a camera or listening device in the bedroom, so I have pretended to call a man in the bedroom this morning, only this will confirm my suspicions.
I don’t know what I’m hoping from this post, but I think I needed to write it down.

But you already know he’s capable of this, and has done so in the past.

Hi OP
I don’t want to make you paranoid but considering he has form, may be useful to read this:
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/may/27/secret-spy-cameras-voyeurism-uk

Stop pretending to make phone calls and find someone who can come in and sweep your house for cameras and listening devices.

The first incident is incredibly disturbing. His excuse is just that a made up excuse to make his pervy actions seem normal. They are not. He didn't think you were cheating. he wanted to spy on you in private moments when you were unaware of him - that was the thrill - seeing you on the toilet unaware of him. Given we live in 2026 it is highly unlikely that his perversion doesn't include cameras. And I wouldn't be surprised if he is sharing footage. Actually I'd bet on it.

So what if he denies it. you know the truth. just get out of this toxic relationship.

Spying aside. why is YOUR toy in HIS drawer?

Refuge is the leading organisation in this country trying to combat tech facilitated abuse. Please read their guidance https://refugetechsafety.org/ and consider calling the national domestic abuse helpline.

That’s an excellent question 🧐

That is so unbelievably creepy.
I cannot imagine getting over it and now thinking he has cameras hidden.
Wow!

he seems to know when I’ve been in a certain draw in our bedroom as he said his clothes get moved (it’s where I keep my sex toy, sorry tmi)

Why do you keep your sex toy in his drawer @Pitterpatterruby ?
Do you want him to know that you have been using it?

That would be the end for me. I'd never feel safe again. If you can't trust your life partner, it's game over as far as I'm concerned.

It seems like a very convenient explanation for him finding it so easily, certainly…

I'd be slightly worried that if he believes you're cheating it could encourage a worse, more damaging (or perhaps even dangerous) reaction from him. I understand the impulse to want proof, but this doesn't seem like the best way of going about it.

Speak to Women's aid because that has all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship.
I don't believe it is legal to film you without your consent in your home.

So you’re okay with him videoing you without your consent? Is he the kind of man that would do revenge porn? Seems like a big risk to me.

He didn't make a 'stupid choice'. He knew you weren't cheating on the toilet. He is a peeping tom and it's a fetish. It's also a massive violation and he is grim.

I’m astonished that you are still with this man. He’s beyond creepy. Finish it now, immediately. I honestly don’t think you’re safe.

You can buy a hidden camera detector, they are fairly inexpensive, and sweep every room in your house with it. It's something they have to do in Korea where this kind of crime is so prevalent.

What a horrible man! I’m not sure the fake conversation with another man is a good idea though. Be careful op.

Agree.

And possibly at his work too

Creep

Strange he's spying on his own wife. Must be some kinda kink . Either way it's surely a red flag moment?

Report it then, rather than troll hunting.

Video of you using your sex toy snd other videos could be all over the internet

insist on access full internet immediately you next see him
full access to phone and you need to leave as you don't know where hidden cameras are

@Pitterpatterruby he did not suspect you were cheating, he used gaslighting techniques so he didn't have to admit what he did due to his own kinks. He is likely doing this to more people than you. Men like this don't have one target and it often escalates - he sounds pretty 'expert' in what to do already...

Phone Women's Aid. Don't play games of making him think something to get confirmation he's spying. You are in a very very inappropriate/scary situation and need to leave. This is not innocent. You have no clue what he's doing with what he records. Do you have children? What if they use the same bathroom?? Guests? To be honest, I'd actually call the police for advice here and log the previous incident too.

Please take this seriously.

Sounds creepy and horrible. But I don't approve of 'sex toys' either.