Husband spied on me through bathroom and bedrooms doors in the past and concerned somethings happening again

[Pitterpatterruby]

I’ve never spoken of this, but I caught my husband spying on me one evening in the bathroom through a small hole he had made with a small screw. He denied it at first, but never truly admitted it but apologised, I also discovered he had also made holes in the bedroom door.
we moved on, but one evening he was watching a video, he made the effort to close it as soon as I entered the room, he denied it was anything and made an excuse, I assumed he had been looking at porn. But, he seems to know when I’ve been in a certain draw in our bedroom as he said his clothes get moved (it’s where I keep my sex toy, sorry tmi), he seemed to know I had used it, even though it would have been incredibly hard for him to know. I have started suspecting a camera or listening device in the bedroom, so I have pretended to call a man in the bedroom this morning, only this will confirm my suspicions.
I don’t know what I’m hoping from this post, but I think I needed to write it down.

I don't understand why you would stay with someone who would do something like this - actively going against your consent. By forgiving him and staying you've given him the perfect opportunity to do it again, and he probably thinks you'd forgive him

Do you not worry that he could have cameras all over? That he is uploading the footage to his fetish sites?

This is bizarre

Its a fetish. He didn't think she was cheating on the toilet

You don’t need to play silly games with him, you need to call the police. You gave no idea what he’s been doing to you while you are asleep OR who he has been sharing footage with. I’m assuming you have heard of Giselle Pellicot? What your DH is doing is ILLEGAL and a horrific rapey invasion of your privacy. He’s putting his own sick twisted perversion above your right to privacy in your own bedroom.

I would seriously consider splitting as soon as possible. Not just because the trust is gone but the psychological impact this could be having on you. As a teen my mum used to hide and sneak next to my room and watch me when I would think I was alone in the house (obviously not sexual but very controlling). It had a huge impact on me and I’m always a bit anxious that I’m being watched when I’m alone. Don’t let him get away with it, he will do it again and it will always be in the back of your mind that you could be being watched.

OP this is abuse! I really don't know how you could live with someone knowing they are or have been doing this. Do you have children?
I mean to make a hole in a wall to look at someone in the bathroom is hardly a split second "mistake"

But now she’s pretending that she is cheating? So regardless of what he thought, presumably he won’t be very pleased to hear her chatting to another man?

This is incredibly disturbing. Don’t pretend you’re cheating who knows what could happen. Get the hell outta there.

He didn't make a stupid choice. He made a rapey decision to spy on you so he could wank over it

Why are you still with him? This is bizarre any normal person would of left.

He will probably wank all the harder and upload it to wherever for his fellow fetishers to wank over too

How can you live with a peeping Tom? You should have left him years ago. Why would he need to prep at you anyway? You're his wife surely he must see you naked without needing to peep at you.

Please ignore me, lol. Apologies.

Where does she say she was cheating? Edited - just read, apologies.

She did say that. Pretending to speak on the phone to a man in her bedroom

Thanks, just read. I missed that twice! Lol. Apologies.

Read what the OP has actually said 🙄

She was pretending to talk to another man on the phone to try and catch out the husband spying on her.

See post above yours.

agree.

the drugging and raping of partners/wives is becoming more prevalent too.

These sick bastards aren't happy with 'just' a spyhole, so it will escalate...

Hope you don't have daughters living in your home!

He will be sharing it online to get validation from other revolting men.

If hes filming you in your home without your consent, thats very illegal.

OP I don't think in your position I'd be playing games trying to catch out your husband. I have no idea how you managed to get past the previous gross invasions of your privacy.

If you have suspicions that he is back to his old tricks (or indeed ever stopped in the first place) then you need to have it out with him and also thoroughly search your home for any spying devices - get help with this if you can. If you find anything surely this needs to be the end?

As others have said he may well be sharing footage of you online with fellow weirdos. Time for a very frank discussion and please don't be fobbed off this time.

He's already committed an offence, see the link below, offenders like this often go on to commit more crimes.
https://www.police.uk/ro/report/rsa/alpha-v1/advice/rape-sexual-assault-and-other-sexual-offences/voyeurism-upskirting/

If this is genuine, why not keep your toys in a different drawer? Like one without his stuff in, seen if he still knows. Though how often are you using them/how long has he been calling you out for you to notice a pattern??

Can you access whatever device he was watching the video on?

I don't think it's appropriate to ask a victim of voyeurism about her sex toy usage? @RandomUserName96