I don’t have any friends

[BonosToupee]

I’m 61, happily married, took early retirement and am fit and active.
I’m a quiet person who likes being at home, pottering around and doing my hobbies.
I have had close friends in the past, but one passed away and others aren’t local anymore due to us/them relocating.
I have no children and my only family is a brother who I’m not really close to.
To get to the point, I keep hearing about support networks and the importance of interacting with others, and it makes me worry for the future.
I’m actually ok and happy with my lot, but keep wondering if I should make more of an effort?
Is anyone else happy being a loner or am I an oddity?

I disagree that you don’t need local friends. I mean it’s all very well having a school friend in Glasgow when you live in Kent but who do you go for coffee with? Drinks in town? A walk? A last minute night out dancing? Wander round a stately home? All things I’ve done with local friends in last 2 weeks. I only see my uni friends about twice a year. I do think friendship is situational there’s no shame in that.

It’s fine unless he drops dead before you and you need help with something. My friend is having an operation, it’s major surgery, she has a few of us lending a hand for a few weeks after she has lived alone for many years.

Really I’m agreeing with what @VoltaireMittyDream has written. It’s one of the reasons men remarry often and quickly after being widowed, they are far less likely to have networks to help them so they get their own network of one back again and as women outlive men there are plenty of chances unlike women who vastly outnumber men in old age.

they prefer life without the experience of friendships they have had.
Well, there's truth in this and some have been hurt, let down etc by friends (that's life!) then retreat socially. It's also true to say some people are better at friendships than others. I suppose social skills, tolerance, an easy going nature, ..blah....some people are more natural at that stuff. Others, especially ASD, struggle to make and keep connections, alienate people without necessarily knowing why.
I sometimes read posts on MN bemoaning about how a so-called friend has behaved towards them and I think "that's not a friend!" Perhaps friendless people are just too picky or critical?

I completely get this. I've got a reasonably good network now, but even so, everyone is married or has a partner, so aren't necessarily available for anything spontaneous, or to go on holiday with. But its nice to have them around and I'm glad I made the effort. I just hope I pop off before DH does!

Im quite solitary. I was perfectly happy with DP, we spent all our time together. Then he died. It's very noticeable, to me anyway, how alone I am. I very much regret not maintaining friendships or making the effort to make friends. It was so much easier for me to think I'm ok with DP, than make the effort, and I would have found the effort difficult so I didn't bother. Now I'm trying to make the effort. No matter how self reliant we are, and self reliance is a good thing, sometimes we do need other people.

So sorry for the loss of your partner.

I hope you are successful in making some new connections. Best wishes to you.

@Chrom, I don't know why the " For Goodness Sake" I joined WI, admittedly in a state of grief. Bags on chairs, saving seats for sister/ friend. I went for coffee and encountered racism and left. I went to a book club and nobody had read my suggested book. I joined Singing and was excluded from meetups.

It does happen and it does hurt.

I’m a bit like this OP. I am not good at sitting in a cafe and just chatting/gossiping but prefer to do a common activity (I think a lot of men have this friendship model but it seems rarer amongst women). I joined a local sports club so I can get out of the house regularly and do my sport and chat to people that way. I wouldn’t say they are close friends but I just prefer that type of friendship. Everyone is different.

There is nothing wrong with being content to be at home and potter along, I can be similar, but without my husband around I think it would tip to lonely.
You have hobbies that you enjoy, could you find a group relating to them? You would immediately have something in common.

proximity is very important though. As i’ve got older quite a few friends have moved a long way away (think 200 miles so can’t do a day trip) in retirement and it seems to be a thing now: lots moving from this expensive town in the south to get something better and cheaper up north in retirement. My adult children are down here so I’m not moving but am actively trying to broaden my social scene locally for when I retire. No plans to retire yet as I love my job. I meet a lot of people in my work and see my adult children and their partners, my sister and my husband all the time, so honestly don’t have a huge need for extra social stuff. But it’s nice to meet new people, even at my age (mid fifties)