What time would you leave a family BBQ with primary-aged children?

[Jetsun3456]

You’re invited to a family BBQ on Saturday. You’ve been told to arrive 3-4pm and food is being served at 5pm, around kids’ tea time.

Both you and the host have primary school aged DC.

What time is the latest you leave?

If the host has something on the next day that necessitates calling it a night at a certain time, they need to use their words and express that ‘we’ve got an early start tomorrow as need to be at xx by 10am and it’s a few hours drive, do we are going to need to wrap it up at 9pm tonight folks’. What’s so hard about that. We do that with friends when needed, would have zero hesitation doing it with family.

I have a lot of friends and host regularly at my house. I have many times said “sorry friends I need to go to bed” when it gets too late, with a smile and not aggressive . Friends have defs invited me back at their house and have come again to mine. So defs possible to do in a polite way.

Saturday night . No school tomorrow. Kids all getting along and roughly same age . No set time . If you want to put your kids to bed when you have guests there then you need to tell them to leave. They won’t be mind readers ..

I’d estimate about 9pm.

I’d read the room and base leaving on how tired the kids seemed and their behaviour - hosts’ kids included. If it seemed like everything was getting a bit fraught / winding down earlier I’d say oh shall we get out of your hair and let you do bedtime? Or if everyone was having a wild time and happy then maybe we’d stay later, it being a Saturday and school hols!

I have a toddler and hang out like this with my toddler parent friends and we’ve continued having a drink and chat while sticking them in the bath together before! Equally I have some who are much stricter on bedtime and I’d not expect to stay past 8pm absolute latest.

Would go off the kids. I would pack jammies and toothbrushes and ask host if the kids can shower if it gets late and then just carry them into bed if they fall asleep in the car home

If I was hoping everyone would be gone by 7 then I’d probably invite guests for midday so it was a lunch event.

If you don’t invite until 3-4 pm as you have, they are more likely to still be there early evening, other things to consider would be how much alcohol was there, within our family if we were expecting a late one there’s always lots of alcohol out to last the night, where if I only wanted to host a short visit there would be much less.

It would also depend on who was coming, you say family BBQ so i imagine it’s either your family or your in-laws which I know for me would make a big difference on how long I would want to host, surely you’ve had/been to your own family BBQ’s before so would have an idea how they usually pan out?
If it’s in-laws and you don’t want them to over stay then definitely buy less drink or start offering coffee/tea after you’ve eaten and if you invite for a 12:00 lunch then people will be hungry later and you’re not expected to include them in your dinner plans so I’d expect them to go home and make dinner, if I was expecting them to stay late I’d have provided more food/spread for later on when people got hungry so it’s just a case of read the room.

If you want people gone by a certain time, say that in the invitation. BBQ Saturday, 4-8pm. Easy.

I help and clean up as we go along. Now that ds1 is older, I give him the nood off it is time to ask for the hover.

The host has the easiest and they tend to give their children a quick shower, whilst we are there. And if needed I have given my own dc a quick shower and gotten clothes from the car. Dc sleep on car journey home.

This is only with family and freinds I'm close with. But for birthday parties or one day thing. We tend to leave early. I tend to make myself busy with tidying up and reminding my children where the bin is. I prefer to stay at home, but my children love making freinds.

By 9pm

I would not put a time on it. I’d leave when it seems it’s ending if the DC are still happy and having fun. Many hosts want to party to carry on so I’d be led by them. My dc would get up for next day plans regardless however I’d have to consider my ability too 😅

People go home when the kids start becoming feral. I would anticipate them getting bored around 18:30 if they've already been there two hours before they get food. They'll eat half a hot dog and then want to leave 😂.

However mine was a total night owl who's never slept much so I could never use the excuse of bath/bedtime. It's a good one whether you're hosting or trying to leave.

On a Saturday ? Are this close friends ? Are you close ? If all is going well then make a night out if it .

Because I think most of us know when to leave , if the host starts clearing or if she mentions kids going to bed then I think most people leave

When they start getting tired. Or, because mine both had NDs, when they started getting bored, which was usually after they'd eaten.

No I don’t necessarily think of the host no - if they have organised a family bbq then they have to accept it will go on longer than the usual kids bedtime

If the host wanted to people to leave at a particular time I would expect that you be part of the invitation.
BBQ at ours 3-9pm
Otherwise I would assume it goes on until the evening (that’s how it works with my friends and family - we just tell each other if it ends early).

Did you organise a bbq now worried how long they will stay?

Id say not before 8. But if having fun and a few drinks, could be 10 or later.

I’d be led by the kids. It might be 6pm, it might be 10pm. My 5 and 7 year old were roasting marshmallows on the fire pit with the neighbours at 10pm last week. Other times, they’re clearly bored or dysregulated and a swift exit is essential. It depends entirely on the environment and how they’re handling it.

No real bedtimes here in the summer holidays. It depends how tired they are.

This. Its the summer holidays.

When the kids get tired , could be anytime before 11 .

Its the school holidays so anytime I feel like it! Unless its clear the hosts are ready to wrap things up. Live a little!